“Yep. Every day, we’ll talk about what’s going on and people will call in to offer their opinions.”
“That sounds like every guy’s dream job, getting paid to talk about sports.”
“It wasn’t my original dream, but plans change. We adapt and make the most of what life doles out. I wanted to play football professionally, but if I hadn’t injured my knee, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. I wouldn’t know I had a son.”
She grimaces. “I’m so sorry, Emmett. There’s nothing adequate for me to say to excuse what I did. All I can say is I was in a bad headspace. I missed you, but I also knew I’d be judged for sleeping with you. I didn’t want to be the Mrs. Robinson of the neighborhood.”
“You didn’t mind when you were sucking my cock or riding me.”
“Ouch. You’re right, I didn’t.”
I shake my head and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m sorry. That was a low blow.”
“No, it’s true. I loved everything we did together and I wasn’t ready for us to end.”
Christ. Four years too late she tells me, and my dick still gets hard. She’s always held this power over me. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as her. She’s the one who got away. Her eyes lower to my lap, noticing my problem. “Juliet, why did you insist we respect the four-day time limit? I didn’t go away to school for a few more weeks. We could’ve had more time together.”
Her eyes slowly climb to lock with mine. “I was in love with you.”
Chapter Eleven
Emmett
She was in love with me? How could I not know this?
I blow out a mouthful of air and confess, “I was in love with you too.”
“You were?” She sounds as surprised as I was. I guess the two of us need to work on communicating our feelings. We’re both clueless when it comes to love.
I nod. “Yes. I’m surprised you couldn’t tell. I figured I was someone you wanted to dip your toes back into the sex pool with. I never imagined you’d have real feelings for me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” she asks. “We had fun together and shared secrets I’ve never told anyone else. You became my best friend. All of those things are a great foundation for a relationship.”
“You don’t need to sell me on it. You wouldn’t have needed to back then either. Had I known you were in love with me, I would’ve found a way to make us work out despite going to college.”
“But I don’t think we would’ve worked. I stand by my decision to let you go.” She’s being stubborn.
“Even though we’ve missed out on four years we can never have back?”
“Yes. There’s no guarantee that if we’d stayed together it would’ve panned out for us,” she justifies.
“You’re right. But it could’ve. We would’ve had a chance to be a couple instead of having no possibility at all.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” She cringes, as if she didn’t want to ask me.
I slide my arm along the back of the swing behind her. “No. Do you have a boyfriend?”
She shakes her head from side to side. “Nope. I haven’t been with anyone since you.” Her words floor me. “Does this really come as a surprise?” she questions. I guess the shock must be clear on my face.
“It’s been over four years.”
“When do you think I’d squeeze in a date—between diaper changes and work?”
“I didn’t think about it that way. I was thinking more about four years as a whole. That’s a long time to go without sex.”
“Don’t worry, I know you weren’t lacking female companionship.”
I scratch my chin. “Yeah, I…uh, I can’t say I showed as much restraint as you. But I think you’d be surprised that I didn’t sleep with anyone until sophomore year.”
“Why not?” she prods.
“I was in love with you, and I wasn’t ready to give up hope that you might reach out to me. And I don’t mean with another painting. Although, I love your artwork.”
“Where’s the painting now?” she asks.
“It’s hanging on the wall in my apartment.”
She smiles. “That’s not what I expected you to say.”
“Hey, I knew that sucker would be worth big money someday,” I tease.
“Ha, I don’t know about big money. I’m at the mediocre stage, but it beats the shit-money stage.”
“I think you’re being overly humble. I know what a big deal you are now. Only extremely talented artists get to show their work at Metropolis.”
“I’m not gonna lie, it was an incredible honor, but one of my friends is the manager there, so that helped.”
“How long have you guys been friends for?” I ask.
“Three years. Why?”
My hand on the back of the swing shifts forward, catching a strand of her hair between my fingers. “You just made my point for me. If you got the show because of him, wouldn’t it have happened much sooner?”
“Maybe.”
“Jesus, stop disagreeing with me. I’m not wrong. You’re just too stubborn to admit it. Like you were too stubborn to tell me about Emmett.”
The smile leaves her eyes, a somber expression replacing the lightness. “I’m not too stubborn to tell you I’m sorry. I hope you know how much I mean that.” She places her hand on my thigh, squeezing. “I don't know how I’ll ever make it up to you, but I’ll find a way or die trying.”
“You carried our son alone for nine months. I can’t imagine how scared and lonely you must’ve been.”
“I kept him from you all this time. How can you be so understanding? You should hate me.”
“Juliet, I could never hate you. I don’t know what would’ve happened if I had found out I was going to be a dad at eighteen years old. I like to think I would’ve handled it, but there’s no way to know that for certain. But I can tell you that at twenty-two I’m ready to be the best father I can be. I fell in love with our son the moment I set eyes on him.”
For the past week, I’ve been spending all my free time with Emmett and Juliet. Tonight’s the big night—we’re going to tell him I’m his dad. I’ve been anxious about it all day. What if he’s disappointed? Or even worse, he cries? I think my heart would split in two.
“Emmett, push me,” my son yells as he tries to get on the swing.
“Hey, little man, what’s the magic word?”
“Pleeeease,” he sings.
“Good job.” Picking him up, I set him on the swing. “Hold on tightly to the chains,” I instruct as I give him a little push.
“Faster, please,” he calls out. I add a little more force to the next push. “I’m like a birdie, Emmett.”
“Hold on tight,” Juliet calls out.
“He’s fine, aren’t you?” I ask.
“Mommy, I’m flying like a birdie. Watch me.”