But that didn’t stop her from missing Sophia or from wondering what had happened to her always being there.
8
“Everett,” said Larry the Llama, “you have a letter.”
Everett looked at the camera in surprise, then back at the llama. “Larry, did you know this is my favorite time of day?”
“You tell me every day, Ev,” said Larry.
“You know there’s nothing I love more than hearing from our friends at home,” Everett continued.
“I know,” said Larry. “Are you gonna take this letter? I’m getting a little bit tired of holding it in my mouth.”
“Sorry!” Everett said, grabbing the letter. “Who’s it from?”
“I don’t know,” Larry said with the closest thing a puppet llama could get to a shrug. “I don’t know how to read.”
Everett laughed, a real laugh, because that hadn’t been what Jeremy and he had rehearsed. “Right, right, of course. Okay, let’s read today’s letter.”
Everett opened the letter and started reading.
Dear Everett,
Are you married? Do you have a family? Do they ever get mad at you? Sometimes my mom gets mad at me when I do things I’m not supposed to. Sometimes I get mad at my mom when she tells me not to do things. Sometimes I want to yell, but my mom says I shouldn’t.
Angel, age 4
Everett put the letter down and looked into the camera.
“Angel, I’m not married, but I do have a mom, a dad, and a sister. I don’t live in their house with them because I live in my own home, but I see them a lot. And even though we love one another, we still get mad at one another sometimes. Did you know that just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean you never get mad at them, or sad because of something they did, or frustrated because of something they said? Sometimes the people we love can hurt us, or annoy us, or even make us cry. And sometimes we can hurt the people we love, even if we don’t mean to.
“I know what you mean when you say you want to yell. Sometimes, I want to yell, too. Actually, I’m going to try it right now. Will you try it with me? Let’s count. One, two, three . . .”
Everett yelled, a guttural roar that made Larry cover his ears.
“What’s wrong, Larry?” Everett asked.
“I didn’t like that,” Larry said. “It scared me when you yelled. It was loud.”
Everett nodded, then looked at the camera. “That might be how your mom feels when you yell, Angel. Maybe it scares her, too. So it’s a good idea to find other ways to express your anger. You shouldn’t ignore it or hide it, but yelling isn’t always the best way to let it out. You could try using words to explain your feelings to your mom or anyone else you’re angry with. My favorite thing to do when I’m angry is make something. You might want to draw a picture and put your feelings on the paper, or maybe make a big, angry finger painting with whatever colors you want. Or it might help to take a bike ride, or run around your house, or jump as high as you can. Sometimes anger feels better when we’re moving.
“But the most important thing to remember is that just because someone’s angry at you, it doesn’t mean they love you any less. Even when I’m angry at my little sister, I still love her more than anyone in the world. And I know that even when my parents got angry with me when I was a kid, they still loved me. We can be mad, but it’s our responsibility to treat everyone with kindness, even when we don’t feel our best, and to say we’re sorry if we hurt someone we love.
“Thanks for trusting me with your words, Angel. I hope you can talk about this with your mom. And remember . . . even when they’re big, or scary, or overwhelming, it’s okay to feel your feelings, and it’s okay to talk about them.”
“Cut!”
Everett instantly relaxed from his on-camera posture, and Jeremy stood up from behind the couch.
“Aw, shit, man,” he said, wiping his eyes with the hand that wasn’t in Larry. “How do you do that? I know what you’re going to say and I still cry every time.”
“Believe it or not, my goal isn’t to make you sob with each episode,” Everett said, folding his letter from Angel.
“This isn’t a sob. It’s more of a sniffle,” Jeremy said, looking at Larry for confirmation. Larry nodded.
Everett stood up and put a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “It’s okay to feel your feelings, dude.”
“I know, I know,” Jeremy said, and then he and Larry walked out of the living room set that made up Everett’s Place.
“Great job, Ev.”
Everett jumped and turned to see Astrid standing behind him, ever-present clipboard in her hands. “You think so?” he asked.
She wrote something down and then looked up at him, eyebrows raised. “You can’t possibly be fishing for compliments. You did good. You always do good.”
“I wouldn’t mind hearing ‘Damn, you continue to push children’s entertainment to new heights.’”
Astrid frowned. “After we get through this next episode, I’ll be sure to schedule a parade in your honor.”
Everett’s mouth dropped open. “Was that . . . a joke?”
Astrid stared at him, unblinking.
Everett put a hand on his heart. “I can’t believe this. Astrid Vargas is out here making jokes. At my expense, yes, but still. I can’t believe how far we’ve come.”
“Take a break,” Astrid called over her shoulder as she walked away. “Wardrobe change and be back here in twenty.”
Everett headed toward his office/supply closet to put on a fun sweater (sometimes clothing companies sent him things, which he loved because the last thing he wanted to do in his free time was attempt to find whimsical yet adult clothing). He smiled, waved at everyone he passed, and took a minute to think, as he did each day, about how lucky he was to be living his dream. He was working with people he loved, making a show he cared about, pursuing the thing he’d been obsessed with since childhood. While he didn’t have an inflated sense of self-importance—he was well aware that he wasn’t conducting open-heart surgery or anything—he could go to sleep every night knowing that he’d made a difference in the lives of the kids and parents who watched the show, even if that only meant one moment of peace or laughter.
He stepped into his office, closed the door, pulled off his button-down, and yanked a sweater covered in cats over his head. He looked at himself in the small mirror Astrid had installed, and as he fixed his hair, he stopped for a moment and stared at his reflection.