“I would love nothing more than to bring you to Jazzercise,” Josie said. “But what’s gotten into you? Did your doctor tell you to get more physical activity? Because you’re quite sedentary. And your posture. Yeesh.” Josie grimaced.
Teddy hesitated. She wasn’t planning on telling anyone about Teddy Time. She could only imagine telling her family about this and what her mother would say. Teddy, it’s not that difficult. Just follow each step of my ten-step plan, the one I concocted without any input from you.
But this wasn’t her mother. This was Josie, and Josie wouldn’t pressure her.
“I’m trying to do one thing every day that scares me,” Teddy explained. “It’s something we all came up with together, Eleanor and Kirsten and me. It’s because I spent so much time not doing what I wanted, or not even knowing what I wanted, because of . . . well . . .”
“Rick the Dick,” Josie said, shaking her head as if she’d gotten a surprise taste of something rotten.
Teddy couldn’t help but let out a tiny laugh. “Okay, I get it. You don’t like Richard.”
Josie widened her eyes. “It’s not that I don’t like him. It’s that I want to drop him into a volcano.”
Teddy lowered her head into her hands.
Josie waved a hand. “Teddy, the man was the pits. He was a looker, sure, but you can’t coast on looks forever, believe me.”
“Oh, now, Josie, you’re still beautiful—” Teddy said, but Josie cut her off.
“I wasn’t talking about myself. But most men? Well, no matter how cute they are in their twenties, you’d better mentally prepare yourself for the day they’re red-faced and alcohol bloated and wearing stained clothing.”
“Thank you for the advice,” Teddy said with a nod. “I’ll file it away for future use.”
“All I’m saying is that Richard didn’t treat you right, but I never said anything because what’s the point? People have to make their own decisions, even if their slightly older but much wiser boss tells them the truth. But now that you two are for sure done . . .” She trailed off, raising her eyebrows.
“We’re done.”
“Then, okay, he was the human embodiment of spoiled milk,” Josie said, throwing her hands in the air.
Teddy sighed. “Well, as terrible as you think he was, I was happy to follow him around, because I had no idea what I should actually do. But now he’s not here, and I am. So I’m trying things myself.”
Josie’s face exploded into one of her giant Josie Smiles—Teddy often thought that someone should bottle and sell that joy. You could make millions.
“You and your friends are smart girls,” she said. “This is exactly what you need. The best way to get over a terrible man is by getting into bed with a new one, but this sounds like the second best way.”
Teddy’s mouth fell open in shock. “Josie! What are you talking about? You haven’t been with anyone since John died!”
“Ah.” Josie patted Teddy’s hands. “But John wasn’t a terrible man. He was a fantastic one. And besides, who says I haven’t been with a man? You meet a lot of men with a hobby like metalworking.”
“Josie McNealy,” Teddy said in wonder, “you’re full of surprises.”
“So are you, my dear,” Josie said, turning to look at her again. “Jazzercise is tonight at seven p.m. Think you can make it?”
Teddy grimaced. “Carlos is closing, so I guess so.”
She started to panic. It was finally starting to hit her that she was going to an exercise class. Most of her experience with exercise involved (a) kids in elementary school gym class making fun of her for her terrible kickball performance, (b) passing out while running a mile in high school, and (c) doing a yoga video on YouTube when Richard walked in and laughed at her “terrible form.” In retrospect, what did he know about yoga? He was a dermatologist, not a fitness instructor. But still, it had left a mark.
“What do I wear?” asked Teddy, because sometimes the best way to manage anxiety was by making sure one had the right outfit.
Josie waved her off. “Whatever you want. Find some fun leggings. We’re not too serious over at Jazzercise.”
“Fun leggings,” Teddy said, nodding, as if that was a thing she owned. Maybe she had time to run by a store after work. She made a mental note to google “fun leggings store.” “Sure.”
“Teddy,” Josie said, squeezing her shoulder, “we’re all a big family at Jazzercise. One big happy, sweaty family. Everyone’s gonna be glad to see you, and no one’s gonna judge you.”
Teddy nodded, but she wasn’t so sure.
The customer left, and Carlos came back up to the counter. He didn’t make eye contact with Teddy or Josie as he unlocked the display case behind the counter and put the pirate ship back in.
“See you tonight at seven,” Josie said, and then to Carlos, “You wanna join us for Jazzercise tonight, sweet pea?”
Carlos smiled at Josie. Carlos never smiles at me, Teddy thought jealously. “I’m good. Thanks,” he said, then opened a comic book and started reading as he leaned on the counter.
“Your loss!” Josie called as she walked to the back room.
“Carlos,” Teddy said so loudly that Carlos actually jumped, “how was your weekend?”
Carlos looked back at his comic book. “Mmmm,” he said noncommittally.
Teddy frowned. She was going to befriend Carlos if it was the last thing she did. “I brought in some pumpkin muffins. Would you like one?”
Carlos shook his head without looking up. “No, thank you.”
The bell above the door rang and the Mysterious Bathroom Bandit came stomping in, newspaper under his arm.
“Hello!” Teddy said with a smile, and he grunted as he walked past her. Carlos kept reading.
As the bathroom door slammed, Teddy turned to Carlos. “Are you familiar with the Mysterious Bathroom Bandit? He comes in here most mornings to use the bathroom. He’s borderline rude and I don’t know what his deal is, but he doesn’t make a mess, so I don’t stop him.”
Carlos stopped reading and looked up, meeting Teddy’s eyes for the first time that day. This is it, Teddy thought. Finally, a real conversation, one where Carlos and I will become actual friends who have a fun inside joke about a regular, and I’ll be assured that he doesn’t hate me.
“Can’t say that I’ve noticed,” Carlos said, then returned to his comic book.
Teddy slumped over the counter, deflated. After a few minutes had passed, the Mysterious Bathroom Bandit opened the bathroom door and stalked back through the shop.