My tears seared, sliding down my cheeks. “What was she like?”
“She was beautiful.” She placed a piece of hair behind my ears. “She was kind. She was selfless. She loved you very much. It was the hardest thing for her to do. To give you up. Hand you over to us.”
I didn’t know what to say, staying quiet instead.
“The day we found out she was murdered… It tore your father apart. He wanted to save her. We all did. For you. For Donovan.”
“Did you know Donovan before she was killed?”
“He was a sweet boy. Gentle. Nurturing. Life has a way of making choices for you, Juliet. His fate was established the moment he was born.”
“Do you think he’s a villain? A monster? A sociopath?”
“Sweetheart, I’m married to your father, and with that comes every demon known to man. This life isn’t easy, and it’s not made for the weak. Your brother is just as ruthless as…” She hesitated for a second.
“As Donovan?”
“We all have a bad and good side. It’s what makes us human.”
I looked down at the scars on my legs from Troy. They would heal, and eventually, physically, I would be all right; emotionally, I didn’t want them to disappear. They were a reminder of what happened when the devil prevailed. They were also a reminder of what I’d felt, seen, lived through.
It all led back to Donovan. He didn’t inflict these scars; however, they made me remember that he saved my life, proving to be my hero after all.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I know you do, sweetie!” Mom laughed sadly. “And I love you. It’s why I can’t let you sit here anymore in your room. It’s why I told Romeo and your father that this time I was taking charge. They’re both silently pouting in the living room, by the way. We’ll see how much whiskey we have left after they watch you leave.”
My head jerked up. “Are we going on vacation?”
“No.” She got up and went toward my closet, and pulled out a bag. “For now, pack a few light things; you’ll need new clothes soon. Make sure to take your charger, and don’t forget your laptop; though, I’m sure he could afford a new one. That man is richer than two of our families combined.” She chuckled. “I’ll miss you. Please visit often, call, and don’t forget to let us know about the baby. Take the test, and confirm my suspicions.” She cupped my cheeks. “You’re pregnant … your love made a baby.”
“I want the baby so bad, I want—” I broke down into hard sobs. “What if he doesn’t want me, though? What if he turns me away?”
“What if he does?” Mom asked. “Then what?”
“Then…” I sobbed. “My life is over.”
“No.” She clung to my hand and pressed both of our palms against my stomach. “No matter what he says, your life has just begun. The only question is—are you brave enough to fight for it? Your child needs a father, and I have full faith your captor will be your savior. For both of you.”
“You don’t think I’m weak for loving him and wanting to go back to his life?”
“Weakness is just another form of strength. You were never his hostage, Juliet. If you were, I know with certainty that you wouldn’t love and want to go back to him.”
“Do you forgive him?”
“I don’t need to. You do. This is your life, and you only get one chance to live it how you please. I chose my demons the day I said, ‘I do.’ Now it’s your turn to choose yours.”
“Did you forgive Daddy? For me?”
She smiled a huge loving expression. “Of course. Even if we could go back and change things, I wouldn’t. His mistake conceived you, and I wouldn’t take that back for anything.”
I touched my belly.
Thinking about all the possibilities.
Could I do this?
I stood up and walked toward the bathroom. The moment of truth wasn’t when I realized I loved him.
No.
It was when I learned that I was pregnant.
Donovan
I was sitting on the bench of my mother’s piano, playing Ludovico Einaudi’s “I Giorni” for what felt like the hundredth fucking time. For the last seven weeks, this was what I did with my spare moments. I’d sit here and play this tune until my fingers felt as if they were bleeding.
Not for my mother like I did in the past.
No, it was for my pet.
Juliet.
I mourned the loss of her like she had died, and in every way possible, it felt like that to me. She did die. I couldn’t see her face except in my memories. I couldn’t hear her voice unless I was dreaming. I couldn’t feel her skin against my fingers, taste her body along my tongue unless I was imagining her as I fucked my fist to the images of all the above.
It was such a lovely melody, and at one time, it brought me peace. Now it was nothing more than agony. I wanted to feel the pain, the turmoil, the devastation of losing her and losing myself in the process. Because that meant it happened, that meant we existed in one space, in one time, together, and numbing myself wasn’t an option.
Every inch of me longed for her in a way I’d never yearned for anyone. She was in my blood, circulating through my veins, trying to breathe life back into whatever was left of me. Her blood was on my hands, her fears, her tears, her love, I owned all that too.
I got lost in the rhythm of the keys, simply fantasizing she was there playing for me, sitting next to me, smiling, putting her hands over mine like I used to do her.
Sometimes it felt as though this was the way I’d live for the rest of my life. In a tower filled with money, power, control, and sex, the seven deadly sins and I were cemented for eternity. Juliet brought so much light to this estate with her smile, her laugh, her innocence. I stole all that from her, and there was no way in hell I was ever giving it back. If I couldn’t have her by my side, then I’d have her spirit, her heart; it all belonged to me as well.
She texted.
She called.
She was on my ass, and you’d think it would have granted me happiness, except it didn’t. Every day I had to fight the desire to answer her, to claim her, to steal her again. Wrong to dream about killing her brother, so I had no competition.
I smiled.
How fucked up, right?
I didn’t learn one damn thing. Every bone in my body wanted what it couldn’t have, craving her like a desperate man.
God knows I didn’t deserve her.
And the devil wanted me alone with no one.
My thoughts drifted, picturing pet playing for me.
So carefree.
So beautifully breathtaking.
Wishing my day away so I could sleep and dream of only her. Nightfall took over, and still, I played my mother’s piano. Spending hours in another world where she and I were together. I shook off the sentiment and took another swig from the whiskey bottle, numbing myself with alcohol before I continued to play. Wondering if she was playing her piano and thinking of me.
The balcony doors were open, and the breeze from the fresh air felt like freezing cold water against my skin. The atmosphere changed in the blink of an eye. The heat of her body radiated onto my back when she suddenly placed her fingers on top of mine like I had with her when she learned I could play too.