“I don’t live here.”
“You’re my wife.”
“On a piece of paper.”
“In my heart. Right fucking here.” He bangs on his chest over his heart. “You’re the mother of my child,” he tries again.
“I won’t keep you from the baby.”
“No. You won’t. You won’t have to because we’re married, and we’re a family. You and me, and this little one.” His hand drops to my belly again. “I love you both, McKenna.”
“I can’t do this right now. I need to go.” I can’t think right now. My mind is racing, and my heart is breaking. There’s a tightness in my chest that I fear will never go away.
“Let me drive you. I don’t want you driving upset,” he says sadly.
“It’s a half a mile down the road.”
“I don’t care. You and this baby are everything to me. I want you safe.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Please? I’ll have Lara follow me and bring me back here. I’ll give you some time to process this, but I’m not going to stop until you understand that I’m not trapped, Kenna. I’m in love with a woman who has held my heart longer than I realized. That same woman is making me a father. There is no greater gift than you, love, and our family.”
He keeps his hand on my belly as he digs his cell phone out of his pocket. “Hey, I’m going to drive Kenna to her grandparents’. Can you follow me over and pick me up?” Silence. “She needs some time to process this.” More silence. “I don’t need to process anything. I found out the woman I love is already my wife and making me a father.” More silence. “Thanks, Lara.” He ends the call. “Let me drive you home.”
I nod because what else can I do? My eyes won’t stop leaking tears, and I really do need to go see my grandparents. Maybe they can help me work this mess out. Maybe I can have them talk to Rip and explain. Climbing out of the car, I pass him at the rear, and he pulls me into a fierce hug.
“I love you so fucking much, McKenna,” he says, his voice cracking.
I hug him back. “I love you too.” I do. I love him, and I love this baby, our unexpected surprise. Never a mistake. Always loved. I’ll make damn sure of it.
He drives me to my grandparents’ place, and without a word, I climb out of the car, not looking back as I head inside. I hear the car door slam, and then another, telling me he’s driving away with Lara. Good. I need time. Opening the front door, my grandparents are sitting in the living room. When one looks at me, they both become alert.
“What happened?” Gramps asks.
“Come here, Mac,” my grams pats the couch next to her. “Tell us what’s going on.”
So I do.
I take the seat next to her and let her hold me close and let the words spill. I tell her about Vegas and how we got married, finding out only today, and I tell them about the baby. I tell them that I’m scared out of my mind to lose Rip and to do this on my own. I also tell them I don’t want to make him feel trapped like my father. “I don’t want us to turn into them,” I confess.
“McKenna,” Gramps sighs. “Sweetheart, your parents didn’t just start down a path of drugs when you were born. It started when they were young. That’s how they met. You didn’t cause them to turn down that path.”
“I remember,” I tell him. “Dad would tell me I ruined his life. That I was a mistake.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize I’ve never really told anyone but Rip, Laramie, and Colby the truth. One night in high school, we had a bonfire, and I was drinking, and it all just kind of came out.
Gramps' fists tighten. “Listen to me, and listen good. You are not a mistake. Never ever a mistake. They let drugs and alcohol take over their lives. They were both addicted long before you were born. They cleaned up their acts because of you. We didn’t know things were as bad as they were until we got the call that your mother had been taken to the hospital.”
“We didn’t know about how he talked to you, or we would have explained this to you sooner,” Grams says softly.
“I thought it was me,” I say, losing control of my tears again. “I thought it was my fault, and I didn’t want to do that to Rip. I love him too much.” I sob, placing a hand over my belly. “I love this baby too much.”
Gramps stands from his chair and sits on the other side of me on the couch, and together, the three of us embrace as my tears fall unchecked. “That boy loves you, Mac. Anyone who sees him with you can see it.”
I nod. “I love him too. But I never wanted to trap him. I love him enough to let him go.”
Before he can reply, there’s a pounding on the door. “McKenna!” Rip shouts, and my tears fall faster.
Chapter 29
Rip
I lasted about thirty minutes at my place, long enough to convince my sister I was fine and to send her home to tell her husband about their baby. I hugged her tight, told her I loved her, and sent her with a promise to call about tonight’s plans. It was maybe three minutes after she pulled out of my driveway that I grabbed my keys and headed to McKenna.
I can’t sit back and wait for her to believe that she and this baby are what I want. I have to show her. I have to fight for them. There’s no other option. I won’t ever stop fighting for my family.
I don’t think when I pull into her grandparents’ driveway, I just climb out of the truck, race up the porch steps, and bang on the door. “McKenna!” I pound again until the door opens. My arm is midair, getting ready to bang again, but I stop when I see Harold standing there.
“Rip.” He nods.
“I love her,” I blurt. “I love her so much I can’t breathe when she’s not with me. I want her to be my wife more than anything, and our baby.” I swallow hard. “She’s carrying a part of me, Harold. I don’t know what to do with that but smile and feel like I’m ten feet fucking tall. She’s having my baby, and I love them both.” I tap my chest over my heart. “Please, can I see her? I need to tell her. I need for her to understand that I’m not me without her. I want our family,” I say, breathing hard.
He watches me as I run my fingers through my hair. I’m ready to yell for her again. I need to see her, but when he pulls the door open further, I see her standing with tears rolling down her cheeks. I rush inside, past her grandfather, and pull her into a fierce hug. I breathe her in, willing my heart rate to slow. When I finally pull away, I cradle her face in the palm of my hands, wiping at her cheeks with my thumbs. “Kenna, I—” I start, but she stops me with her words.
“I heard you.”
“I meant every word. I’ll tell you every damn day for the rest of our lives.”
“I’m sorry. I thought—” She stops and swallows hard. “I thought that I was the reason,” she cries. “He told me I was a mistake and that I ruined his life. I didn’t want that to be you. He told me he was trapped because of me, and I didn’t want to trap you. I love you too much to do that.”
“Listen to me.” I wait for a few heartbeats, until I know that I have her full attention. “There’s nothing in this life that I want more than you and our baby. I don’t know what I need to do, but I’ll prove that to you. I will. I swear to you, McKenna.”