“It has a pool, and it’s right near a golf course, Dad.”
“You’re speaking my language.”
We visit with them for another half hour. They leave with hugs for both of us and promises to come to Miami as soon as we’re settled in our new house.
“Please check in often, or I’ll worry,” Mom says when she hugs me a second time.
“I will. I promise.”
Dee and I walk them out and wave to them as they drive away.
“It was nice of them to come,” she says.
“It was. I’m glad you got to see the Mom and Dad I know and not that weird version of them from the other night.”
“I am, too.”
We have a quick meeting with the Realtor who’s listing my place so I can sign the agreement that puts it on the market. And with that, it’s time to go.
At two o’clock, we load suitcases, backpacks and other things we’ll need on the road, including an entire bag devoted to my medication, into my SUV. We take one final walk-through to make sure we didn’t miss anything. As I shut and lock the door on my Phoenix home for the last time, so many emotions overwhelm me.
Chief among them is excitement for what’s ahead, and that, in and of itself, is such a welcome feeling. Ever since I passed the eleven-year mark, I’ve been living in this odd state of suspended animation, waiting for the sky to fall. There’s not much room for things like hope or excitement inside that mindset.
Dee has changed everything for me. She’s shown me a different way, a better way, and as I go down the stairs to the parking lot, I don’t look back. I only look ahead to Dee, who’s standing by the car waiting for me. With the sun streaming down on her, she looks like an angel sent from above to show me what it means to truly live rather than just exist.
I surprise her when I go to her rather than the driver’s side of the vehicle. “Before we leave, I just want to say thank you.”
“For what?”
“For showing me another way to live.”
“You like this better?”
Nodding, I kiss her softly. “So much better. Thanks for all you did to get ready for the move. I never would’ve gotten it done without your help.”
“We make a good team.”
“Yes, we do.”
“Should we get this show on the road?”
“Absolutely.” I hold the passenger door for her and wait until she’s settled to steal another kiss. “Let’s go home.”
MARCUS
I sleep better than I have in weeks and wake up twelve hours later to sunlight pouring into my sister’s bedroom. Since she’s out of town, I slept in her room after talking to Tara for hours about everything that’s happened since we last saw each other.
Unlike Dr. Stern and the people at rehab, Tara listened to me without interrupting. She let me talk until I had no words left, and then she asked what I needed.
“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
“Maybe you should sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning.”
I was utterly exhausted after seeing Maria’s post about Dee and talking it all out with Tara, so I took her offer of a place to stay for the night and slept like a dead man.
I feel a little better today, but I’m so sick of myself and my never-ending litany of problems. I’ve made a God-awful mess of my life. That’s about the one thing I know for sure.
In Bianca’s bathroom, I “borrow” an unopened toothbrush and take a shower.
Wearing yesterday’s clothes, I leave the bedroom to figure out what I’m going to do next.
Tara is in the kitchen standing watch over something on the stove. “Coffee?”
“Sure, thanks.”
She pours coffee into a mug and puts it on the counter along with cream and a sugar bowl. “How’d you sleep?”
“Really well for once.”
As I watch her move around in the kitchen, I have the same thought I had last night. The cute young girl who used to follow me around like a puppy has grown into a beautiful woman. I haven’t seen her in years, and the change in her is remarkable. “Sorry to make it all about me yesterday. I never even asked where you’ve been since I saw you last.”
“I was in Ecuador for three years with the Peace Corps.”
“Oh wow. That’s amazing.”
“It was great. I taught English as a second language to elementary-aged kids. I loved every minute of it. I got back two weeks ago, and I’m moving into my new place at the end of the month. Bianca was nice enough to let me crash with her in the meantime.”
So while I was drinking my way into oblivion and making a full-on disaster of my life, Tara was off saving the world. “That’s really cool. I’m impressed.”
She smiles, which makes her eyes light up. “Thanks. It was fun, but now I have to figure out what’s next. I’ve applied to a bunch of places, and I’m just waiting to hear something. The waiting is making me crazy. I always need to have a plan.”
When she retrieves plates from the cabinet, her T-shirt rides up on her back, revealing two sexy indents at the base of her spine. Not that I have any business noticing Tara’s sexy indents. Drink your coffee, Marcus, and keep your eyes off your sister’s friend.
Tara serves scrambled eggs, turkey bacon and buttered toast.
“Thank you so much for everything, Tara. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.” After refilling my coffee, she joins me at the bar, and we eat in silence until she puts down her fork and looks at me. “What’re you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
“May I offer a suggestion?”
“Sure. After all, you listened to my bullshit last night. I’m interested in your opinion.”
“You need to go back to rehab and finish what you started there.”
That’s the last freaking thing I want to do.
“Everything you talked about last night comes back to one thing—you need to deal with your alcoholism before you worry about anything else.”
She’s right. I know she is, but I still don’t want to go back there, even if I know I have to. They’ve called six times since I left, but I’ve declined the calls and haven’t listened to the messages from them or Dr. Stern, who’s called three times.
“I can give you a ride if you’d like.”
I want to say no, thank you. I want to tell Tara I’m not going back there, but she looks at me in such a way that lets me know my bullshit isn’t going to fly with her. “I’ve been unfair to you.”
That seems to surprise her. “How so?”
“When we were younger, I always felt like you were maybe into me, and I spent hours last night talking to you about Dee and how upset I am that she’s found someone new.”
“I was into you.”
“Oh.”
“So into you, it wasn’t even funny,” she says, laughing. “But you were always with Dee.”
“I’m sorry if I was clueless.”
“It’s fine. I got over it.”
For some strange reason, I’m sad to hear she got over me, which is ridiculous in light of everything else I’ve got going on.