Oh, yeah, what kind of problems? the niggling voice in her head asked.
The kind that would make it awkward for us to work together or even be around each other as neighbors, she answered.
“It was just a dream, that’s all, one that can’t ever come true,” she whispered as she threw back the covers.
She slung her legs over the side of the bed and tried to shake the dream from her head, but it didn’t work so well. She knew the excitement of that first time having sex with a guy, and then the pleasure of cuddling up next to him in the warm afterglow. The trouble was, she had inherited a few of the same genes that made Flynn go from woman to woman. She liked the fun of the first date, the second one, and then sex on the third date, but then after that she always began to find something wrong with the guy, especially when he was an overbearing jerk like her last boyfriend. But it seemed like those were the kinds who came into her life. Maybe they got a kick out of trying to tame her sassiness, and when they couldn’t, they moved on or cheated.
“I will own my commitment issues,” she said as she got dressed for the day and headed to the kitchen. “And I’ve only had a few relationships that ever made it to the third date.”
April was busy putting the sofa bed to rights. Her thin shoulders slumped, and she had bags under her eyes. Nessa crossed the room and wrapped her cousin up in her arms. “You didn’t get much sleep, did you? Finding out that Nanny Lucy wasn’t perfect is tough on me, but I can’t imagine what this information overload about your father and biological grandpa is doing to you.”
“Thanks for that.” April bent to lay her head on Nessa’s shoulder. “And no, I didn’t sleep well at all. I still keep expecting to wake up in my car, or in my apartment when I could afford one, and find out this is all a dream. That some worthless man I’ve let con me into moving in together is going to come through the door at any time demanding I give him my last ten bucks so he can go buy cigarettes and beer.”
“Flynn and I will help you get through this, April.” Nessa gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. “I smell coffee. Thanks for getting it started. Let’s put all this in a box and close the lid, toss it in the back of our minds for a little while, and make breakfast.”
April took a step back and finished folding the covers. “No problem. It’s actually the second pot. I’ve been up for a couple of hours. I read through the entire diary while I drank the first pot by myself. I got to admit, I’m a little jittery.”
“Then we better get some breakfast going to counteract all that caffeine.” Nessa crossed the living room and dining area and opened the refrigerator. “So what else did you find out in the diary? I only read a few parts of it. Did you discover anything else that would shock us as bad as what we read last night?”
Before she could answer, Flynn arrived, poured himself a cup of coffee, and sat down at the table. “Find out what?” he asked.
“April’s been up for a while, and she read all of Nanny Lucy’s diary,” Nessa answered as she broke eggs into a bowl.
“I started on the first page and read all the way to where she stopped writing.” April’s tone sounded hollow, as if she were reciting something for a school project. “The first few months of her marriage were pretty good, but then she got pregnant, and . . .” She paused. “Do I call him Grandpa even though he wasn’t mine?”
“Call him whatever you want,” Flynn said. “He’s been your grandfather for more than thirty years, so it would be weird to me and Nessa if you started calling him Everett.”
“Things started to fall apart while she was pregnant. I wonder if the pregnancy hormones triggered depression. I don’t know anything about that illness or what brings it on. She did write that she had made that vow to God when the tornado hit this area, and that God wouldn’t be happy with her if she divorced her husband. She was married to a man who was constantly looking at other women and even telling her how pretty they were when she felt like an ugly elephant. She had Uncle Isaac and was pregnant again when he was just a few months old, and all this before she was twenty years old. I thought I had it bad, but poor Nanny Lucy drew the short end of the stick all the way around,” April said.
Nessa tossed a slice of ham into a cast-iron skillet and made toast while it cooked. “Did she ever say anything about all that to you?”
April shook her head. “But the more I think about it, the more I realize that she was lashing out at herself, not me. It sounds crazy, but it helps.”
“Grandpa wasn’t a very nice person,” Flynn said, “but my question is, If he was such a womanizer, why did she stay with him? She was so independent and sassy that it’s hard for me to imagine her putting up with that crap.”
“She wrote that she’d made two vows.” April set the table while she talked. “One was to God that she would go to church, and the other was to love Everett O’Riley in sickness and health and for better or worse. In order to keep her vow, I guess, she figured that she had to stay with him even if it was mostly for worse.”
“Dad has vowed that same thing several times,” Flynn said. “I guess saying the words means about as much to him as it did to Grandpa.”
“Did her affair with Joseph Wilkes last very long?” Nessa asked. “Saying that about Nanny Lucy sounds so wrong. As if I’m already condemned just for asking.”
“About a month, from what I read,” April said. “She felt guilty about betraying her friend. But at the same time, Joseph told her she was beautiful and even brought her flowers when they met in secret. She just wanted someone to love her, and to see her. I don’t think Grandpa ever really looked at her after they were married. He didn’t compliment her or say nice things about her. She did write that she was glad when Joseph and April moved away so the affair would end. She didn’t have the power to stop it, and yet she was cheating on her best friend as well as her own husband.”
“Did she love him?” Nessa asked as she poured eggs into a skillet.
April shook her head. “I don’t think she was capable of love after the way Grandpa broke her heart. But knowing all that takes a load off my shoulders. How do all y’all feel?”
“I’ve been just like him,” Flynn whispered as he pushed back his chair and helped bring the food to the table. “But by damn, I don’t have to continue to be that way. I can and will get my life turned around. I owe it to all women, like Nanny Lucy’s friend, the older April, to make things right. I haven’t been a decent guy, but I intend to do my best to change that. I actually came here for just that reason.”
“Yes, you can, and I’ve got faith you will!” Nessa replied. “From what Nanny Lucy wrote, our grandfather didn’t want to change. Makes me wonder why he even married her to begin with, or if things would have been different if Nanny Lucy hadn’t made that vow about church.”
“Who knows? The past can’t be changed, but the future is another matter.” April smiled.
A surge of love flowed from Nessa when she realized that April’s eyes didn’t look nearly as haunted as they had before. “I was worried that all this would send you over the edge for sure, but it seems to have made you stronger.”