“For me too.” She pressed herself closer, and we stood that way for a long time. Wrapped around one another, lost in our own sad thoughts. The need to override that sadness forced me to pull away.
“Dinner will be here at eight. Do you want to take a bath with me?”
Her pretty eyes widened. “Yeah, I would.”
Arm in arm we walked into the bathroom and to the large tub already filled with a steamy bubble bath. We then undressed slowly, each watching the other quietly. I watched her pull those waves into a sloppy bun on the top of her head. I then closed the distance to kiss her like my life depended on it before lifting her into the tub and following right behind.
She settled against me, her back to my chest. My arms immediately snaked around her body, our legs entwined beneath the balmy water, and her hands slowly caressed my thighs.
I kissed a path along her neck to her earlobe, before whispering, “I’m excited for you.”
“Thank you,” she said, pressing my hand between both of hers. “That’s how I felt when you got Cannon’s offer.”
“I know you did… and I get it now. I get what you were trying to tell me that I stubbornly refused to hear.” Her head twisted until our eyes met. “I don’t want you to have regrets either. I want you to find something to love, something apart from me and my world.” When a small smile played on her lips, I kissed her. “I love you, Liv.”
“I love you too,” she responded in a raspy whisper. Our love wasn’t the issue… I just hoped it was enough.
“Do you know what I want from you now?”
“Anything,” I easily responded.
“Make love to me.” My hands needed no more than that to mold over her breasts, and she arched her back, pushing herself into my touch.
It would be difficult to take it slow, especially when my hard cock breached the space between us. Determined to, I skimmed my hand lower to caress her with my fingertips. Her moans fed my state, and my moves fed hers. Reluctantly, I pulled my hand away, and she groaned with disappointment.
“Shh, baby… turn around.”
Gently, I helped arrange her thighs on either side of mine. Some warm water sloshed over the sides, and neither of us cared. The only thing I saw was the way she pierced me with her eyes.
Needing to taste those gorgeous lips, I cupped her face and pulled her mouth to mine. One stroke of my tongue against hers caused an erotic moan, and that caused me to grip the base of my dick, prompting her to lower herself over me.
A small gasp escaped her lips as I filled her so perfectly. She rested her hands on my shoulders while she controlled our pleasure with her movements. Slowly, her eyes closed for a few seconds, but when she opened them, the intensity of her stare overwhelmed me.
Her warmth pulsed around my swollen cock. Every plunge caused a new wave of heat to course through me, and it had nothing to do with the water churning around us. My attention fixated on how with each thrust I disappeared in and out of her. Every roll of my hips, every inch of my length, every beat of my heart created such an intense energy below my waist, it bordered on being painful.
Her ice-blue eyes continued to spear right into my heart without apology. Through that stare she further infiltrated my soul, pulling me deeper under the spell she had cast over me since day one.
Alivia reached climax first, and during it she rested her forehead on mine. A guttural groan was my own giveaway as I trembled, speechless from the force of my own release.
That desperation I’d been feeling returned, but worse than ever before and leaving me no chance to brace myself for it. I had no idea how to deal with it. It ripped my heart into pieces, leaving it in tatters in one swift motion. All this occurred as I was still buried balls deep inside my girl.
I wanted to crawl into a hole with her and never leave. Regret, sadness, loss, and confusion further destroyed what was left of my heart, adding a new realization to the mix.
She felt it all too… I could see it in her eyes when she admitted, “Shane, I’m scared.”
“I know, baby. I am too.” Again, we clung to each other, terrified of the changes happening.
As for myself, I couldn’t stop wondering if this separation would be a huge mistake.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Alivia
After one of the most memorable nights of our lives, I cried my eyes out the next morning when it was time to part. I cried when my parents and brother saw me off at JFK. I cried most of the flight. I cried during the drive to my new apartment. I cried when Kim called me to say how proud she was. I crawled into bed exhausted and cried myself to sleep. I cried when I woke in the middle of the night after having had a nightmare that Shane had died.
And then… miraculously, I was all cried out… there wasn’t one tear left in my entire body.
The next day, I woke up in a silent apartment with a spectacular view of Il Duomo outside my bedroom window, engulfed by a new sense of calm. It seemed all my strife was a million miles away. Besides feeling completely lost when it came to my relationship with Shane, my mother and I had fought for the first time in forever. At the last minute, she’d decided she couldn’t watch me go off to a foreign country alone and had booked herself a seat on my flight. I refused to allow her to come, needing to do this on my own.
As it was, she and Dad handled my move to the point that all I had to do was walk into my new apartment with my suitcase and cat. And I appreciated it. Mom thought it would be a good idea to bring her with me, but as Miss Kitty stared at me from her usual spot near the door while throwing dirty looks, I wasn’t so sure.
My parents had secured a fully furnished place with a five-minute walk from NYU’s campus. It was small, and I loved it. I had the sweetest little kitchen opening up to a modest space that served as a living room and dining area. The couch pulled out for my brother to sleep one. The second bedroom had been set up as a guest room / office. My bedroom had a small bathroom attached. The room itself wasn’t large, but the view was amazing.
There was another bathroom that held a small washing machine and a retractable drying rack… dryers weren’t a thing in Italy. Pathetically, I had to call my mom to get a lesson on doing laundry.
But now it was time for me to grow up a bit. I’d never been alone, ever. My entire life I’d always been surrounded by people, cared for by people. It was both strange and exciting to have this space all to myself, to be on my own.
My first few days were hectic as I ran around registering for classes that had already begun and catching up on the lessons I’d missed. But by the second weekend there, I found my groove and couldn’t be happier. I even began learning Italian and could already get by pretty damn well. My parents and Shane called daily like clockwork, filling me in on things I missed. Shane tried his damnedest to sound upbeat during our calls, but my mom had already told me that he had been miserable.
Typically, Shane’s parents had a huge Labor Day bash at the beach house. This year it also served as a “good luck on tour” party. Lori and Cannon were also there. I was happy they did that to send him off while sad I’d missed it. That would be a common contradiction within me as long as he was there and I was here.
The Wednesday after, Cannon’s band played at the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the hospital wing Jack and Leila had built and dedicated to her mom, Marie. Shane said the event was a big deal, covered on all the news networks, but the best part was being there for his grandfather Anthony.