I had too much other shit swirling around in my head to even let it spoil how happy I was now that Nova was mine again. “I need a priest,” I told her instead.
Her brows pulled together, and her chin actually began to tremble. “Why?”
“I told you last night, Mom. I’m getting married.” Nova squeaked at my answer, her arms tightening around me. “Priest. Minister. Judge. I don’t care at this point. Just get someone here before the sun goes down.”
“Oh, um, sure.” She licked her lips nervously and took a step in my direction. “About what you heard. I really didn’t—”
“Mom, let’s not, okay?” I stroked my hands down Nova’s back, glorying in the feel of her against me. Not twenty-four hours before, I’d been miserable, my heart not even seeming to beat. It had been as if I were a walking corpse, cold, alone, just waiting for death so I could end the pain constantly swirling around inside me. But now, I saw the world through clearer eyes, and it was all thanks to the two women I loved most. “You obviously thought I didn’t need to know, and I have to agree. If I’d been aware of what was going on at the time, I would have put a stop to it.”
Nova’s nails scratched over the back of my neck, and I had to swallow a groan from how good her touch felt. Shifting her so she could feel how much I was enjoying what she was doing, I tried to concentrate on my mother. “But considering that my wife-to-be would be lost to me forever if that had happened, I’m thankful. Please, don’t ever worry about me hating you. There is nothing that will ever change how much I love you.”
“L’venok,” she whispered, her voice cracking on a strangled sob.
“We’ll talk later,” I promised. “After the honeymoon, yeah?”
A few tears spilled down her cheeks, but she gave me a bright smile and nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, moy syn.”
“I’m sure Guzman can get a priest here by tonight,” Cali said with a wink, reminding me there were others in the room.
“Probably,” Nova muttered grumpily, pulling back to look at her friend. “But I don’t remember being proposed to, so I don’t know who Ryan plans on marrying.”
I slapped a hand against her perfect ass. “Do not push me right now, my heart.”
“Maybe I want to push,” she sassed, those green eyes full of bedevilment. “I told you I won’t marry you without the world’s most romantic proposal.”
My entire body turned to stone as my brain focused on four words. I won’t marry you.
The fuck she wouldn’t.
“The garden at sunset is beautiful,” Felicity offered with a kind smile, ignoring her daughter’s protest. “I was telling Jet last night it would be perfect for a small ceremony.”
“I prefer the beach,” Nova interjected, only to continue to be ignored.
“Garret is out getting us both white dress shirts,” Jet said, pouring himself another cup of coffee. “I didn’t expect to need one, so I didn’t pack for this. But after yesterday, I figured we would be having an impromptu celebration of some kind tonight. Either a wedding or a birthday party. I’m fine with either. Both will have cake, I’m sure.”
“I mean, it is my birthday,” Nova complained. “Shouldn’t I have a say in any of this on my day?”
Cali snickered, but she spoke directly to Jet. “Garret told Maria to make a cake as he was leaving earlier, actually. I guess he had the same thought that you did.”
Pop grunted. “Samara is going to be so pissed that we didn’t bring her now.”
“I miss Samara. We should wait until she’s with us.” Nova squirmed, trying to get free, but I slapped her ass again. “And Ciana.”
“Be still,” I ordered. Refusing to let thoughts of Ciana ruin this moment, I nuzzled my lips against Nova’s neck. She shivered and made a soft mewling sound, snuggling closer.
“I’ll video call Samara during the ceremony,” Mom dismissed with a wave of her hand, her tears already drying. “And then we can have a huge reception with the entire family when we get home. I don’t think she will mind much anyway. Not when we will be bringing her a sister back with us. That’s all she’s ever cared about anyway.”
Nova huffed against my neck. No one was paying her the least bit of attention, speaking over her every time she even opened her mouth. I shifted her more comfortably in my arms. “It sounds like you have this under control. Excuse us while my bride and I have a long-overdue conversation.”
“Take your time, sweetheart,” Felicity said as she and Mom moved to sit on the empty couch. They angled their heads over Mom’s phone while Cali left to speak to Guzman about getting the priest.
Keeping Nova wrapped around me, I turned and left the room. “I don’t like you leaving our bed without me,” I informed her as I climbed the stairs. “Next time, wake me so I know where you are.”
“Oh, so I need your permission to leave your side. Is that how it’s going to be now?” She huffed again. It was equal parts adorable and infuriating. “Don’t turn into a controlling asshole, Ryan. If you do, we’re going to have some serious problems.”
I tried to squash my rising frustrations, but after she’d said she wasn’t going to marry me, there was no holding it back. “You left me, Nova,” I gritted out. “I spent months thinking you were dead, missing you so bad it literally hurt to breathe at times. I need you at my side until this fear of losing you starts to ease.”
She squirmed in my arms, trying to get down, but someone would have to pry her from my lifeless arms before that ever happened. Reaching the door to my room, I kicked it open then made sure it was locked before crossing to the bed and carefully sitting her on the end.
“I didn’t leave you on purpose. They took me. I don’t even remember how I got here.” She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring up at me. “I tried to tell you all about it, but you never even called me back. I begged you, Ryan. So many times, until my throat felt like it was bleeding from screaming at you in those voice mails. And you didn’t even give me two seconds of your time.”
“Because I thought you were someone who worked for Sheena, trying to fuck with my head! She wanted me to suffer, Nova. Every day, from the moment my biological mother died, she made it her goal to hurt me as much as possible. She must have been planning the attack for years. Fuck, she’s probably in hell right now, chuckling it up, thinking I’m seconds away from swallowing a bullet because I can’t live without you.” I scrubbed a hand over the scruff on my jaw.
The agony I’d felt every time I’d seen a Colombian number pop up on my phone was just below the surface. I would never forgive myself for not answering those calls now, but at the time, it was all I could do to make it through each day without her. “Anyone who knows me is well aware that the only way to hurt me is through you. Hearing your voice would have given me hope, and then I would have once again been left with this gaping hole where my heart should have been when whoever was pranking me laughed and told me how stupid I was to think you were anything but six feet under.”
“Y-you wanted to kill yourself?” she whispered shakily.