I couldn’t help it. I laughed. He was crazy, but I liked it.
With another surprising kiss to my neck, he stood. I turned and placed my feet on the floor. I used my hands at the backs of his thighs to tug him between my legs.
I stilled when my emotions bubbled up. Why did I suddenly feel like crying?
It was stupid.
But staring up at what I desired, knowing he had come to me willingly to try this out, meant everything to me. Where had my flirty, confident side gone?
“Hey,” Josh uttered, cupping the side of my face.
Pushing the wild emotions back, I smirked up at him. “Morning wood again?”
His chuckle was low. “Yeah, you could say that. Plus, my balls are sweatin’ up a storm sleepin’ in these pants.”
He still had his leather pants on. I snorted. “Thanks for that image, but at least you look good.”
His eyes warmed. “Do I?”
Rolling mine, I said, “You know it, pet.”
“Pet?”
“Yes, my little pet.”
“Ain’t anythin’ little about it.”
“Oh, I know. I felt it last night.”
He winked, dipped down, and pressed his lips against mine. “Better let you get ready for work, busy man.”
I whimpered against his lips. “I don’t want to.”
It drew another chuckle from him, and I loved hearing it. “Too bad. I promised Mimi we’d go bloody horseback riding.” His mouth met mine in another brief kiss, and he started for the door. Was he leaving to get away? Did he regret anything? Would he go back to how he was and tell me to fuck off?
A new pressure clutched at my heart. “Josh,” I called, my tone a little higher than normal.
He turned. “Yeah?”
“I’ll see you tonight?” Please don’t run. Don’t listen to your inner demons saying this is wrong. Please like me. Yes, my confidence had walked out onto the balcony and taken a jump off, fearing losing what I had gained. The thought twisted my stomach into knots. Already Josh was something important to me, and I was all mixed up within myself. I didn’t know how to act or what to do to make sure I could keep him at my side.
His smile was big and bright. “I’ll be seein’ you, Taro.”
The pressure eased. “Have fun,” I told Josh, still wanting him to stay.
“You also,” he teased, and I glared. But it faded as soon as he was out of the room, closing the door behind him.
“My God,” I breathed, and slapped a hand over my mouth. A thrill ran up my spine. Josh came to my room with his own free will. I may have started the kiss, but he knew what he was doing and who he was doing it with.
It shocked me we didn’t go further than making out like some horny teenage boys, but I also liked the fact we hadn’t. I was used to being used for my position in the family. I was used to being wanted for money and the lifestyle.
I had never been treated as I had the previous night, like Josh had done.
No one had wanted to only kiss me, hold me, be with me without an ulterior motive.
What was that man doing to me?
One night and I felt… excited, giddy, overwhelmed, but in a good way.
Though, what happened if it all ended because this wasn’t what Josh wanted? Because I wasn’t what Josh wanted.
I was a guy after all, and he’d never been with one. That I was sure of.
Standing, I shook my head and made my way to the bathroom. I refused to think about the what-ifs. I would enjoy what we had, even if it lasted for just now. There wasn’t a chance in hell I would miss having a piece of Josh. I could only hope my confidence would return and I’d stop worrying to the point I second-guessed myself.
Ruin
Mimi bumped her shoulder into mine as we made our way back to the house after a ride, which wasn’t too bad considering it had been on a horse and not my bike.
“What?” I asked.
“You seem happier this morning,” she commented with a smile.
I shrugged. “Good ride, good company, got nothin’ to complain about.”
She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Really? There’s nothing else that’s made you happy?”
I ruffled her hair, which she scowled at. “I’m always in a good mood. Nothin’ new there.” Except for the fact I’d slept like a baby beside a guy I had a goddamn major crush on. If I hadn’t walked out of his room this morning, I would have taken things further. That was why I bolted quickly. He’d taken my damn breath away with the morning light shining in from the balcony window. Right before I hid him under some blankets. I still couldn’t believe I acted like that, but shit, I’d hated having another guy seeing Taro that way. Half-naked, hair rumpled, eyes hooded from sleep.
“And you’re spacing out with a weird little smile on your face,” she accused, moving to stop in front of me with her hands on her hips.
“What do you want, Mimi?” I asked, amused.
She slapped my stomach. “We’re friends. We tell each other things now. Like, say, I don’t know, the fact you slept in my brother’s room.”
“Okay, I slept in Wolf’s room.” She didn’t need the little details of how I called him by his first name. That was for me.
“You’re a pain in the butt. What happened?”
“You do know that even though I kissed a dude, I’m still a guy, and I don’t do this woman-gossip session, right?”
She beamed at me. “You two kissed?”
I groaned and gently shoved her out of the way, starting for the house again. With a laugh, she strode to catch up. “How was it? Your first kiss from a guy.”
“Mimi,” I whined. “Shut it.”
“No way. This is too juicy. Ruin, the man-whore member who only does women, has been kissed by a man. My brother.” She clapped. “This is awesome.”
Snorting, I stared down at her as she rambled on. She looked at ease. Happy even. She had been this way in Ballarat, but she was also different back home. Shy. Quiet. Here she wasn’t. Would she stay on after her dad died? Whatever she decided, I’d stick by her choice, but I knew one thing. Melbourne wasn’t for me. Ballarat was my pace of things.
So what did that mean for Taro and me?
Shaking my head, I pushed that thought away. I was going to live in the moment, and right then, my gut needed some food in it.
“I can’t believe you’re not telling me anything.”
“How did you know I was in there anyway?”
“You left your door open, dingbat.”
“I could have gotten up early and gone for a walk.”
She shook her head. “You would have told me if you were going far.” She bumped into me again, easily showing affection. “You’re a good friend like that.”
She did seem cool that I slept in her brother’s room, but wasn’t it weird for her also? I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable.
“Mimi,” I said.
“Yes?”
“Ain’t it weird knowin’ I was in your brother’s room after we—”
“Let’s not speak of that. It was a one-night slip-up from me when I thought I’d lose the company I had and the safe place. I promise I’m okay with whatever happens. I wish you both luck because you’re both pains in the butt.”