The penguins were happy. So they wouldn’t have chicks. So what? They were safe and healthy. They shouldn’t be shipped off to another program, uprooted again, separated from their waddle. Maybe Jill had been stressing them out, but she was their human, the one they knew. And without the pressure of the program hanging over her, she could relax and then so could they.
Sure, she was potentially going to have to give a few million dollars back to A.J.’s estate but she hadn’t discussed all of this with his attorney yet. If that was the case then, she’d have to find a way to fundraise a lot of cash.
Holly actually looked sad and reached for her hand. “I’m so sorry. I…I really wanted you to have everything you wanted, Jill.”
Her mom’s words hit her. “That’s the thing. I do have what I want. I have work that matters. Just because it’s not a formal program doesn’t mean those animals don’t matter. And I have a baby on the way. And I’m in love. And I have friends and family.” She smiled at her mom. “The only thing I don’t have is a nice, simple, perfectly laid out plan.”
“You seem okay with that,” Holly said, studying her face.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Jill,” her father said.
She blew out a breath. “Yeah, Dad?”
Her father pointed at the computer screen. “I think Zeke wants to talk to you.”
Confused, Jill leaned in to look at the computer screen. Zeke’s face filled the entire thing. Clearly he had taken the camera from Naomi.
“Jill, answer your phone. We need to talk.”
She swallowed. What was he talking about? She glanced around for her phone. It was in her bag. She dug for it, pulling it from the outside pocket.
“This guy is here telling me that these are his penguins,” Zeke said. “You need to call me.”
Oh. Crap.
The guy he’d been talking to in the background was one of the investors Jill had called about the penguins? What was he doing there? The guy must’ve gotten on a plane immediately and flown to Autre.
She quickly pressed the button to wake her phone. There were three missed calls from Charlie, three missed calls from Naomi, and seven calls from Zeke. There was also a missed call from Donovan, one from Griffin or at least Griffin’s phone, and three other numbers that had to be Autre numbers.
She looked at her parents. “And I’m definitely not going to be doing this alone. Probably anything alone. At all. Maybe ever again.”
Her mom looked from the phone to her face to the computer and back to Jill. “He seems really upset.”
“I’m sure he is.”
“He thinks this means you’re leaving him?”
“No, he thinks I’m getting rid of the penguins.”
“He’s attached to them?”
“He was attached to them even before he really knew them. Just because they were important to me. But now that he’s been around them, yeah, I think he really cares about them. These people are…” Jill shook her head, laughing softly. “I have never met anyone who just embraces a new idea, a new person, a new situation with open arms and minds and hearts like these people. It’s almost like they are constantly ready for an adventure.”
“That’s appealing to you? The woman who buys the same shirt in every color and eats the same food over and over, because she doesn’t want to try anything new?”
Jill looked at her mom with surprise. “I don’t do it because I don’t want to try something new. It’s because I don’t want to have to worry about all the little details that I thought were silly. But I realize that even cereal and sandwiches can actually both be special.” Ellie giving her a bowl of cereal in the middle of a restaurant that was famous for the food, the ingredients Zeke had gotten for her sandwiches, Zander trading her jellies…those had mattered.
“I think that I wasn’t ready to worry about other details because I was so focused on the penguins all this time because I knew what I was doing there.” She looked from her mother to her father. “It is a lot of work when you’re doing something all by yourself. When it matters so much to get it right, but you don’t have anyone to help you. And yes, I probably had people in Omaha who would’ve cared and would’ve supported me if I’d let them in. But I didn’t. I kept myself in this little bubble where I was the only one who could do it right.”
She understood her mother. If her mom had taken being a mom as seriously as Jill had taken her passion for the penguins, it would’ve been hard to let someone else in, to trust that they would do a good job. So, even as overwhelming as it got at times, her mom took it all on herself.
“But now that I have all of these people there helping me and supporting me and wanting to be a part of it all, I realize that I can definitely care about more than one thing. Passionately. With my whole heart. There is room in my life and my heart for multiple things.”
“What made you let them in with the penguins when you didn’t let anyone in Omaha in?” her mom asked softly.
Jill smiled. “That’s the thing. I didn’t let them in. They just barged in. They don’t really care if you don’t want them to love you. They do it anyway.”
Her mom reached out and covered her hand. “I hope this is everything you dream it will be. And I hope that my…ideas about motherhood”—She took a breath and blew it out—“don’t mean that you won’t ask me for help if you need it. I probably won’t do everything the way you would want me to, but I’m very willing to pitch in.”
Jill squeezed her mom’s hand in return. “I know. I’ll call you. A lot. And I’ll be back to visit. Heck, I’m kind of hoping that once the baby is older, he or she can spend part of the summer with you guys.”
Her mom shook her head. “You know, maybe I should’ve done more of that kind of stuff. I would have been a better mom if I wasn’t doing it all a thousand percent all the time.”
“For the record, you did a great job. I mean, we might’ve gotten our wires crossed in my understanding of what being a working mom was, but I know you always loved me.”
“Very much. And, what I hear from my friends is that being a grandparent is wonderful because it’s your second chance to get things right.”
“And you can send them home when you’re tired.” Jill’s father added.
Jill’s phone had been on silent, which was why she’d missed nineteen calls from Autre. Now that she was holding it, however, she noticed when it started ringing again. And that it was Zeke’s number.
She lifted the phone to her ear. “I’m not giving the penguins away.”
“You’re damn right you’re not. I told the guy to get the hell out of here. I hope I didn’t ruin whatever this relationship is with this group you’ve got going, but dammit, Jill.”
“I did call him about it, but I changed my mind. And it doesn’t matter if you ruined the relationship. I’m done with that program. The penguins are just our penguins.”
“Good. Now get your sweet ass back down here, and let’s raise some kids and penguins together.”
“Some kids?”
“I figure the first three or four are practice. By number five, we’ll know what we’re doing.”