“We didn’t miss it,” Erin said. “We’re just ignoring it, like you always ignore it when you meddle in our lives.”
“I never meddle.”
Erin snorted out a laugh. “Right. Like that time I was dating Jack Rutherford freshman year of high school and you thought he was wrong for me—”
“Which he was.”
Erin held up a finger. “Beside the point. You had to go and tell everyone your opinion about what a jerk he was, and then Mom got wind of it and shut it down faster than a tornado.”
“Well, he was kind of a jerk,” Honor said. “He led you on and had another girlfriend you didn’t know about.”
“Again. Beside the point. Or how about that time Honor wanted to sneak out and go to the concert with Becky Black? I said she’d be fine. She had a phone.”
Brenna shook her head. “Becky Black didn’t have the sense that God gave her and you know it as well as I do.”
“Honor does. But oh, no. You knew best and you ruined it for her.”
“This is true. I really wanted to see that concert. But you told Mom.”
Brenna could not believe they were rehashing old grievances. “And what happened to Becky and the other girls?”
Erin rolled her eyes. “I think her boyfriend’s car breaking down can’t be blamed on Becky.”
“But they all got found out and grounded.”
“Yeah, but at least they got to see the concert,” Honor said. “I got grounded anyway.”
Brenna threw up her hands. “What, then? I’m always wrong?”
“That’s not at all what we’re implying, Bren,” Honor said. “We care about you and want what’s best for you, just like you’ve always wanted what’s best for us.”
Erin nodded. “And when you shut us down and refuse to talk to us, it’s concerning.”
“I . . . can’t talk about Finn.”
Honor gave her a look of concern. “Why? Is something wrong?”
“No. I just . . . don’t know where we are. Where we stand. And I’m scared to even talk about it with him because I’m afraid he’ll want more than I’m ready to give him. I know he wants more than I’m ready to give him.”
Honor reached for her hand. “What are you afraid of?”
“That I care too much already. That I’ll screw this up. I’m not exactly a success in the relationships department, you know?”
“Which is a hundred percent Mitchell’s fault,” Erin said.
“No failure is all one person’s fault. I have to take some of the blame. I was the one who decided the marriage was over. I never suggested marriage counseling or asked if he wanted to try to make our marriage work.”
“Did you still love him when you ended things with him?” Honor asked.
“I don’t know. I was hurt and angry and I just wanted out. I couldn’t see us repairing the damage we had caused each other. There’d been so many arguments and things said that couldn’t be taken back. We wanted different things, and I couldn’t see it working between us. Not then and definitely not now.”
“Then you made the right choice,” Honor said. “And you healed and you moved forward and you started dating again.”
“That’s right,” Erin said. “And you learned what you did and didn’t want in a relationship so you could do it right the next time.”
She looked at both of her sisters. “But that’s the thing. I’ve been in a really good place. Strong and confident and knowing who I am. And then Finn comes along and—”
She couldn’t seem to formulate how she felt.
“And what?” Honor asked. “Has he taken away your confidence?”
“No. That’s not it at all.”
“Does he make you feel less than?” Erin asked.
“No, of course not.”
“Then what is it?” Honor asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I felt like after what I went through with Mitchell, I just needed to figure out who I was by myself. I went from being a daddy’s girl to being Mitchell’s wife. After the divorce, I needed to figure out who Brenna was, all by herself. And I’ve been doing that, and I like who I’ve become as a whole person. An individual.”
“Bren,” Erin said. “You can be wholly independent and still love someone. You don’t lose your individualism just because you’re in love.”
She blew out a breath. “Maybe. I’m just not sure I’m ready to take that step yet.”
“Is Finn?” Honor asked. “Has he said he loves you?”
She shook her head. “No. Not at all.”
“Then what are you worried about?” Erin asked. “Just enjoy what you two have and whatever happens, happens.”
“Exactly,” Honor said. “Why don’t you live in the moment with Finn and quit worrying about the future so much? Whatever happens between the two of you will happen on its own. Shouldn’t you be enjoying the now?”
Maybe she was blowing everything out of proportion, including her relationship with Finn. She should do exactly what her sisters suggested and relax, enjoy the moments and quit thinking too much into the future. “I guess you’re right.”
She only hoped it was that simple.
CHAPTER
• • • • • •
twenty-four
FINN WASN’T A master at planning surprises, but he had come up with one for Brenna that he hoped she would like.
After work he went back to his place, fed Murphy, let him run around outside a bit while he showered, then drove to the main house. Murphy ran inside and Finn followed into the living room. He was greeted by Maureen and Johnny, who had already pseudo-adopted the dog as their own.
Maureen bent down, taking Murphy’s face between her hands.
“How’s my wee boy today? Did you have a good day?”
“You’re spoilin’ him, Maureen,” Johnny said.
“Aye. He needs that.”
Finn knew his dog would always be well taken care of whenever he was out. “Thanks for watching him.”
Maureen came over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “It’s our pleasure.”
Brenna came in, taking his breath away in a dark blue cotton dress that clung to her top half and swirled around her bottom half. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and the gold hoops she wore in her ears made him want to take a bite of her earlobes, something he kept to himself since they were standing in a room with her parents.