“No TV? Whatever will Raj do?”
“Raj can play outside, look through comic books, and make friends, maybe?” It occurred to me we’d better take a lot of creative supplies with us. “Raj can paint and do jigsaw puzzles and lots of other things. Raven and Kipa will figure it all out so Raj shouldn’t worry.” Maybe it would do Raj good to be away from the TV for a while. I had created a couch potato, when he should have been out exploring things and having fun.
“Raj will miss TV. Raj has lots of friends on TV.”
I paused, suddenly realizing that Raj had been lonely. Even though I loved him dearly, and he loved me, I wasn’t a constant companion. Maybe there was some way to remedy that. “The ferrets will come with Raven too. The whole family is moving. It will be a big adventure. But Raven’s not selling this house. When the vacation is done, we’ll probably come back here.” Even as I said it, I wasn’t sure. Maybe I’d love it over there. Maybe the Dragonni would take over this world. Maybe the universe would implode.
Raj mustered a smile. “Raj will have fun. Raj likes seeing new places.”
I hugged him, even though I knew he was putting on a brave face for me. “Wait and see. Raven thinks Raj is going to love it there far more than he thinks he will.” And I prayed that was true.
Everybody showed up on time—Ember and Herne, Viktor and Sheila, Angel, Yutani, and Talia. They gathered around the tree as the fire crackled cheerfully in the hearth. The food was good, the ambiance warm, and I basked in the glow of having my friends around me. I decided to wait for an hour or so before telling them Kipa and I were leaving.
The doorbell rang and I went to answer it. There, on the doorstep, covered with fresh-fallen snow, was my father. I stared at him for a moment, wondering what to say. What could I say after the past couple weeks? How could I confront him without sounding like I wanted to slap him silly? And yet, I did want him to know what he put me through. I wanted an apology, I wanted an explanation, but I knew full well that even if he had the most sincere of excuses, I still couldn’t trust him the way I used to.
Curikan hung his head under my scrutiny. “Raven, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say except I didn’t mean to… Oh hell, there’s no good way to excuse my actions. I’m so sorry. I hope you can one day forgive me.”
I wanted to reach out, to hug him, but I couldn’t. Not yet. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “At least you’re not trying to justify what you did. Dougal would never have used me that way and got me kicked out of the Ante-Fae community if you hadn’t given him the idea it might work. He never thought two licks about me before.”
“I know,” Curikan said. “I know. May I come in?”
I stood back so that he could enter. “I want you to know something before we go in the living room where everybody else is. I’m going to try to forgive you, but it will take time. I want to trust you again. I love you, but I feel so betrayed. And even though I realize you thought maybe I’d come over to live—”
“No, don’t try to rationalize why I did what I did. My father always makes me feel like dirt, and the time I spent with him over in Scotland brought up all those painful childhood memories. He’s never going to love me. He’s never going to be proud of me and nothing I do will ever be good enough. And that, I have to learn to live with.”
Even as he spoke, I could feel the centuries of disappointment weighing on his shoulders. And it made me realize that no matter what, until this mess, my father had always shored me up and made me feel special. He had never made me feel like he was disappointed in me. And a voice inside me whispered, “He’s allowed to make a mistake. He’s mortal, he’s not perfect, and he’s allowed one error in all the time he took care of you.”
He held up an envelope. “I have a check here for your mother. She paid me back for your house and I’m giving this back to her. I love you, Raven, and I will never forgive myself for hurting you.”
That broke the dam. I fell into his arms, sobbing. “I love you, Da. I was so hurt by what you did. You’ve always meant the world to me.”
He held me, patting my back. “We’ll sort this out, girl. We’ll sort this out.”
I stood back. “You were going to move to Y’Bain, but I talked you into going to Dougal’s—Mother and I did. Now…how would you like to live in Kalevala?”
Curikan looked puzzled. “What do you mean? Why would I go there?”
I dried my eyes. “Come in, and I’ll tell you.”
He followed me into the living room. Phasmoria gave him a long look as he leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek. He whispered something to her I couldn’t catch, then said hello to everyone else.
He turned to Angel as I introduced them. “This will be the only time we can meet,” he said. “If we meet again, you’ll be in danger from my nature. So this evening will be the only time we will ever be able to say hello. Ember, you too—though my effect on the Ante-Fae is minimal.”
Angel nodded, eyes wide. “Well, it’s nice to be able to say hello to you this one time, then.”
He sighed. “I wish it were under better circumstances. I suppose you all know what happened with me and my daughter,” he said. “We’re working on resolving that, and I’ve… I’ll prove that I’m worth forgiving.”
“Since you’re all here, I have something I want to tell you,” I said, standing in the center of the room. Kipa moved over to my side and wrapped his arm around my waist.
“You’re getting married?” Angel let out an excited squeal that made me snort.
“No, we’re not getting married. But…we are moving.”
Everyone except Herne and my mother looked shocked.
Kipa whispered to me, “I told Herne that I’d be taking a year off except for when I’m needed because of the Dragonni. I don’t technically work for him, but I’ve been helping a lot.”
That explained why the Lord of the Hunt didn’t look surprised.
“What…where are you moving? Another state?” Ember asked.
I held her gaze for a moment, realizing that the moment I spoke, it would all be real. “No, actually. I’ll be training with Väinämöinen for a year.” That brought a tumble of questions and I finally held up my hand. “One at a time. But first, let me tell you how this happened.” I explained everything that had happened during the past couple weeks, from what went down the night of my last party, to what happened with the Banra-Sheagh, to the aztrophyllia and Vixen and Lenny, to Väinämöinen’s offer.
Ember and Angel looked dumbstruck. “But you can’t move. We’re in the middle of a war,” Ember said, then blushed. “I know that sounded ridiculous, but…I’ll miss you. We’ll miss you.”
I ducked my head. “I know, and I’ll miss you all, too. But I’ll be over here for special occasions and, like Kipa, if you need my help during something big going down with the Dragonni, let me know and I’ll come back. It’s only for a year for training and then the internship—after that…”
“After that, who knows?” Phasmoria stood. “Life moves on, everything changes. Change is life, stagnation is a form of death. We all grow and advance or we slide into obscurity with too many regrets. Ember, you’ll be stepping up to goddesshood soon, you’ll be changing. Angel, you took the life-extending elixir, you’ve chosen a different route. Everything moves as the cycles of the world turn on and on. My daughter’s making an informed choice. She’s choosing to brave the unknown because she knows this will lead to a new path, with new options, and it’s an opportunity most magical workers would kill for. I’m proud of you, Raven.”