“Cosima,” I breathed as I broke from Dante and stepped forward.
Cosima stepped forward too, meeting me halfway, catching me up in her long, thin arms so she could hold me tight. We were the same height, but where I was slender, almost hollow boned, with smaller breasts and hips, Cosima was all length with the added bonus of exaggerated curves. It felt good to be held against her softness. It reminded me of Mama and how much I missed her.
“Hi,” Cosima whispered in my ear, her nose in my hair smelling deeply. “Missed you so much, sorella mia.”
I clutched her tighter in response even though I wasn’t normally so physically affectionate. My tears fell into her thick hair, but she didn’t mind. She just held me quietly for a few minutes, murmuring into my hair how much she loved me, how happy she was to see me, how proud she was of me.
She didn’t know anything about my life since I’d taken the case, at least nothing besides my infertility procedure, but somehow, she knew I’d been through the wringer and needed her endless love to soothe me.
“Seamus is dead,” I croaked through my tears, grabbing a handful of her silk hair because it reminded me of braiding it when she was a girl, of tucking her into bed and reading her stories because Mama was working and Seamus was nowhere to be found. It reminded me of time when I’d comforted her as an older sister should, but it didn’t make me shamed for needing her now.
She was my sister and I’d never truly let her be in my life enough to support me when I needed help.
“I’m sorry,” I cried softly, hysteria bubbling up through the chaos turning my stomach into a tempest. “I’m sorry I didn’t know what Seamus did, what you did to save us all.”
“Oh Lena,” she sighed, looking over her shoulder at Dante. “Why don’t you take Xan inside for a cold beer, D?”
He must have nodded, because a moment later, I felt a soft caress on the back of my head and then soft footsteps through the grass as Dante led his brother and Frankie back to the house.
Cosima led me over to a bench at the edge of the lemon grove and sat us both down, curving me into her chest under her arm.
“I’m sorry you had to find out,” she murmured.
I pulled away to glare at her. “I’m not. I’m only sorry I didn’t know.”
“What good would it have done?” she countered softly. “It was you who told me a few days before my eighteenth birthday that the happiness of the few is worth more than the happiness of one. I agreed with you. It was my pleasure to sacrifice for my family, Lena. If you had been in my place, you would have done the same.”
“I know I’m not as beautiful, but it should have been me.”
“Why? Because you’re the oldest?” she challenged. “That’s so arbitrary. Besides, you sacrificed for all of us our entire youth. You didn’t have friends or go off to uni or do anything a girl growing up should have because you were too busy raising us when our parents couldn’t. You’d done more than enough.”
I held her beautiful face in my hands and realized I hadn’t done such a thing since she was a girl and her cheeks were plump with lingering baby fat. My heart panged for those more innocent days, even though I couldn’t regret that they were behind us.
“Do you know what made me happy back then?” I asked her as I stared into those melted gold eyes. “Knowing that Seb, Giselle, and you were healthy and as happy as I could make you. It made me happy to know that you were getting to school on time, that I could help you with your homework and make dinner so you could study or hang out with friends. I didn’t need my own happiness because I could borrow yours. So, it kills me that I failed you and you have to live through what I can only imagine were unspeakable things.”
“You know, at first I was surprised by you and Dante,” she admitted, cupping my hands on her cheeks. “But it makes such sense to me now that I think about it. You both have the biggest hears of anyone I know and the courage to do anything to protect your loved ones.”
“That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me,” I admitted.
“Now, that makes me sad,” she countered. “I’m not the only one whose been through unspeakable things, Lena. Don’t pity me. Just like you, I’ve come out the other side much better for the things I survived.”
“Alexander was the one who bought you,” I confirmed, trying to keep my voice neutral even though the idea of him buying my sister to use as a sex doll made my blood heat to a vicious boil.
“Yes,” she said simply, eyes wide and sincere. “He had his reasons. If you need me to explain the whole torrid thing, I can, but I’d rather let sleeping dogs lie. There is no one in this universe for me, but that cruel and beautiful Lord and no one else for him but me.”
“I feel the same way about Dante,” I admitted somewhat shyly.
It wasn’t in my nature to divulge personal details or express my emotions.
Dante was teaching me how to love again and one of the most important lessons I was learning was that verbal affirmation was an essential part of loving someone.
“That makes me happier than I can say,” Cosima said, beaming. “No one will love you better than he can and you deserve that. Who would have guessed we would end up with brothers! Our kids will be more like siblings genetically than cousins.”
My heart clenched painfully, the hurt reflected in my eyes for Cosi to see.
She winced, grabbing my hands. “I thought you said the procedure worked? Dr. Taylor told you that you’d be able to have kids naturally one day.”
“It’s still a bit of a long shot. I have one working ovary and scar tissue on my womb from the ectopic pregnancy.”
“But it’s possible,” she pressed.
“Yes, it is.”
Her grin was girlish and slightly indecent, a little sister reading some salacious from an American magazine. “I don’t think you’ll have any problems. The Davenport men are very…virile.”
“Cosima!” I admonished through my laughter, but then stilled, eyes widening.
In response, her hand went to the non-existent swell of her belly. “It’s really too early to announce anything, but this is why Alexander didn’t let me go to you when you had your surgery. He’s over the top protective normally, but now…” She trailed off because the force of her smile wouldn’t allow her to talk.
“I’m so happy for you.” I leaned forward to hug her, stroking her hair, in awe that my baby sister was having a baby.
“I hope it doesn’t trigger bad things for you.” Another reason she was so lovable, she was always thinking about others, always in tune with their emotional climate.
“I’m only happy,” I assured her. “Mama is going to be ecstatic to have two grandbabies to play with.”
She didn’t laugh. “One day, she’ll play with yours too, Lena.”
I shrugged, but my heart burned with yearning. “I hope so.”
“I know so.”
“Are you two finished?” Dante called from the patio behind the villa holding a bottle of wine in each hand. “I’ve got news.”
Cosima looked to me eagerly, but I laughed. “No, we aren’t engaged or anything like that. We just started seeing each other.”