"Yes, exactly. But it's the language that matters because it's the language that's going to get you through to the HR department."
Jacqueline smiles and relaxes her feet on the chair opposite from her. She puts one on top of the other, crossing her legs at the ankles.
"How do you know so much about this?"
"That's exactly how it works at my company, so I'm assuming it works the same way at others. Now, once you do get an interview, that's a whole other situation."
"What do you mean? What's Vasko like anyway?" she asks.
"Egomaniacal, self centered, cocky."
“So, like you?" she says, narrowing her eyes.
“Agh, that hurts.” I laugh.
I like this banter back and forth. It relaxes me and makes it feel like we're an actual couple. “So, I wanted to ask you something."
Jacqueline nods and waits.
"I feel kind of silly, but there's really no other way of putting it."
"Go ahead, put it in any which way you want.” She nudges me with her bare feet and I let my eyes go up her leg.
She pulls her legs tighter and I lick my lips.
"What do you think if you were my girlfriend?"
"I think I'd like that," she says with a little sigh.
I can feel her getting a little nervous. She clenches her jaw, holds onto the sides of her wicker chair a little too tightly, and I see the whites of her knuckles.
She then relaxes her grip, reaches over, and kisses me. I kiss her back, pulling her tightly, wrapping my hand around her waist. When I start to slide in between her thighs, she pulls away.
"It's the middle of the day. If we got caught doing it out here at night, imagine how easy it would be for someone to walk in on us now."
"Hey, I'm not saying we have to go all the way," I protest, "let me just get a little feel."
She pulls her legs even tighter, preventing me any entry.
I laugh and find the pool light.
"You're really sexy," she says, sucking on her straw.
I see a little bit of her tongue and it takes a lot of effort to not jump right over there and kiss her.
"You're really sexy, too," I say. "I've been wanting to do that for a while."
"What exactly?"
"Ask you to be my girlfriend."
"That's really cute.” She smiles.
"I'm glad that I could amuse you."
"No, seriously. I appreciate it. I like the certainty."
Jacqueline pauses a little before she says the word certainty and I realize that given the circumstances under which we met and what we've been through, I like the certainty as well.
"Can I lay down some ground rules?" I add.
She nods.
"I don't want to share you with anyone. I know that we met under very different circumstances and you'd think that I should probably be one of those kind of guys, but I just don't want to share you."
"I don't want to share you either," she says, and our lips collide.
She pulls away slightly and looks into my eyes. Her eyelashes are long. And when I look deeper, I see a little bit of a teardrop in one corner. When she pulls away, she acts like it is the breeze that made her eyes water.
"Please don't ever cheat on me," she says. "I was going to The Redemption when I was single, but I don't want to go there with you and I definitely don't want you to go behind my back like ..." She pauses for a little bit. "Lincoln," she adds quietly.
We still haven't really talked about it: Allison hooking up with my brother. Clearly he doesn't want anything further to happen and probably wishes that he hadn't gone there at all, but it still happened and Jacqueline and I know about it.
We know the truth and a part of me feels incredibly guilty about keeping it a secret from Marguerite.
"What's wrong?" Jacqueline says, taking my hand in hers.
I drift away a little bit in my own thoughts.
"I feel bad for her," I say quietly.
I know that we have to be careful in this house, the walls have ears, and the last thing I want to do is have Marguerite find out from us rather than from whom she deserves to know the truth.
"I don't know what to do," I finally come out and say it.
"About what?"
"I don't know what to do about keeping this a secret."
34
Jacqueline
I can see how much this whole thing is weighing on Dante's mind. I know that he has gotten closer to Marguerite recently, and he's upset with Lincoln, not only for working too many hours, but also for betraying her.
I know that if everyone keeps their mouth shut, Marguerite will probably never find out, but I don't know if that's right.
On one hand, she's having a child with him. And if he's willing to make amends and put this in his past and actually commit to her, why rattle the cage? Why make it a problem if it’s a one time mistake?
But on the other hand, I'm a firm believer in knowing the truth and all the facts. And if I were her, no matter how much pain it would cause me, I would want to know the truth about my husband and the father of my child.
I'd want to know what a scumbag he is so that I could make a definitive choice as to whether I want to stay with him despite that.
Keeping the secret from Marguerite is not right, but it's also not my place or Dante's place to tell her what happened.
I feel like there is no right or wrong answer, but not telling her makes me feel shitty.
Nevertheless, this weekend we have really connected and become friendly despite the fact that Adele seems to prefer spending time with me. Marguerite is honest, charming, and lovely, and someone that I will be proud to call my friend. Besides she and Lincoln have been together for a long time.
Who knows? Maybe it's something that he has done before and she has accepted from him. You never know what's going on behind closed doors.
"I don't think we should tell Marguerite," Dante says, the smile disappearing from his face being replaced by something more serious.
I nod. "I kind of agree with you."
"I feel guilty," Dante says. "I feel like she should know. But then another part of me feels like this is their marriage and who knows, maybe she already knows."
I smile realizing that he's practically reading my mind. We finished working on my resume and the cover letter with Dante redoing all of it.
"Well, according to this, I'm a perfect fit,” I say, reading it over.
"Are you sure you're okay with going there?"
I nod. "I mean, it’s not like I have a million job offers coming in from anywhere else."
"What about your mom?"
I hesitate. I hadn't thought about that much.
“She's feeling better now and it's not like I'm moving there permanently. How long exactly?”
“Six months, maybe nine. Maybe even a lot sooner. I want this to be as quick and painless as possible.”
I get up from the table to refill my glass. When I return, I sign into my email and send off the cover letter and resume to the address provided.
"Well, this is it," I say. "Now, we just wait."