“Unless one of us breaks it.”
It was the wrong thing to say. Inkar’s grip on my arm tightened, and her voice took on a stilted quality. “You intend to break it.”
“No,” I said, feeling a burst of shame. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. “But you didn’t come here thinking you would stay forever.”
“No.” She looked down the road of high-stacked houses, pressed together as if for warmth. “I wanted to see something new.” Her boot scraped against the road.
“Your father’s using you. He used you to get better terms on the treaty, and now that we’re married, he’ll use you to get more.”
Inkar shrugged. “So?”
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“I am the twenty-fifth daughter. It is part of my life. People use me.” An emotion I couldn’t quite place gleamed in her eyes. “You are using me, and I do not mind.”
“No, I’m not,” I said automatically.
“Of course you are. Everyone says that if you were not married to me, you would already be married to him.” She squeezed my arm. “I do not blame you. Sigis likes power too much. He would not be content to stay grand consort, as I am.” She raised a brow at me, as if to say I could do worse. “My father despises him.”
“Any expanding warlord would,” I muttered.
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing.” We walked along the fishery stalls, where blood and scales froze to the walls and beams of the tents. “Forgiving your father, I understand. I guess. You didn’t choose to be his daughter. But why would you choose to stay married to me?”
Inkar was silent for a long time, gazing at the snowflake stars. Finally, she said, “I have spent my life trying to show others that I can make something of myself. Living to others’ standards. But when I came here, I resolved to live only for myself. And you chose that.”
“And you’d rather be here than with the Emerald Order?” Not to mention be largely ignored by her father, something I’d tried and failed to accomplish every day before I became grand duke.
Inkar adjusted her scarf. “The order was a challenge. I have conquered it. Some people still say it is not enough, that I am too fragile or that my father helped me.” The sly smile was back. “But even my father said this marriage was impossible.”
I leaned in, pressing my nose to her cheek. Heat rippled over my skin and pooled in my belly. “Lyosha would never have known what to do with you.”
Inkar laughed. “Your brother would never have selected me. I knew as much when I agreed to come. He dislikes… horse riders.”
My wife had the gift of understatement. Lyosha’s entire platform for ruling had been closed off and nationalistic. Originally, he hadn’t wanted a foreign consort at all. It was only through Mother’s great coaxing that he’d agreed to the brideshow. “If you knew he’d be so dismissive, why come? And why…” I searched for the right words. I actually liked Inkar. I cared what she thought about me. “Why were you so pleased to marry me?”
Her hood turned toward me. “The first time I saw you, you looked as bored by your family as I was. Then, when you came into the bridal wing, you were so helpless…” She exhaled softly in laughter.
“Helpless?” I nearly choked on my outrage.
“Helpless. Panicked. You were like a doe.”
“I was not.” I laughed incredulously. The sound bounced off the silent buildings to either side.
“You were. And I think it is why you chose me. Because I am the hunter. Good for pursuing does.” She squeezed my hand again. “And fighting off pale bears.”
I was surrounded by hunters. Sigis hunted my title. Reko hunted my power. Someone hunted my life. But Inkar protected me. She wasn’t my hunter; she was my herd.
“Do you know why I picked you?” I said. “I picked you because you laughed at me.” And perhaps I shouldn’t have told her, but it made her laugh again, and I found I didn’t mind that.
After thirty minutes, every step Inkar took wobbled, and I dragged her back to my rooms. Her cheeks were an angry red and she leaned over to stoke the fire with a groan. “I will never be warm again.”
“Of course you will,” I said. The best way to get warm would have been to press together in my bed to share body heat. But I wasn’t about to suggest that. Instead, I pulled off my clothes, shuddering as I was reduced once more to my nightgown and bare legs, and slid under the covers.
Inkar sat next to me. “I hope you are sufficiently tired.”
“I’m sufficiently cold,” I admitted, burrowing down.
“In fifteen minutes, I will go find Aino and tell her it is her turn to watch. Perhaps she will not yell at me.”
We fell silent, enjoying the warmth, the crackling of the fire, the pale blue of my bedroom walls and ceiling. My bones ached, but the weight of my blankets reassured me. My eyes grew heavier, but I needed to say one thing before sleep took over. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” I murmured. “Aino’s special to me.” Special didn’t really begin to define my relationship with Aino, but I was too tired to think of what did.
“I forgive you,” Inkar said. “You did almost die. It makes a woman a little…”
“Irritable?” I suggested.
“I suppose. Vengeful, as well.” Her hand snaked under the covers and found mine. “It will not happen again.”
Our fingers knotted, a complicated tangle of threads. I thought about pulling on those fingers until her face was right above mine, then pulling again until the gap between us closed completely. I thought about her offer to keep me warm.
I’d never have the courage to take her up on it.
“I begged him to let me come here,” Inkar said, almost too quietly for me to hear.
“Hmm?” I pulled my loose thoughts together.
“I was the one who came up with the plan. I wanted to see this place, and my older siblings did not want to come. I convinced my father that my life was worth it.”
“That’s…” I struggled to find the right word.
“Clever?” Inkar cocked her head. “Romantic?”
“Sad.” That her father had thought her disposable in the face of political gain, when she was so much more. Then again, what did my father think of me?
“I do not regret it,” she said, and our fingers tightened. Two daughters who had nothing else, holding on to each other.
We were still holding hands when Aino woke me.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Her breathing was still labored in the night,” Inkar said as Aino shook me by the shoulder.
“She’s fine, thank you,” Aino said, and I could have sworn I saw another layer of ice frost over the windows.
“I simply thought you should know.” Inkar stretched and ran a hand through her dark hair, momentarily obscuring her face. Behind her, the winter roses half bloomed against the wall.
Aino muttered under her breath as she put my robe around my shoulders. I waved to Inkar as I was shuffled out.
“And whom is Your Grace planning to arrest today?” Eirhan said as I shut the door to my bedroom behind me.