She smiled. “I’ll be fine. Besides, I owe him.”
Tripp laughed at that. “Okay, if you need anything, give one of us a call. Got your phone?”
She nodded. “It’s in the family room. I’ll get it for you.”
He typed his number into her cell and left.
Chloe leaned against the door and sighed. She didn’t know what kind of night she had ahead of her, if Beck would just sleep it off or wake up in the middle of the night. The one thing she was sure of was he wouldn’t make a fool of himself the way she had the night of her non-wedding.
After setting the alarm, she headed back to the bedroom to take care of him.
Chapter Eleven
Beck’s head pounded like someone played the drums inside his skull. Groaning, he rolled over, immediately regretting the motion. What the fuck had he done last night?
He blinked and his bedroom came into focus. “Thank God.” He wasn’t in a stranger’s bed. Given how he felt this morning and how little he remembered about the evening before, he counted himself damned lucky.
As he lay there contemplating how he’d manage to get up for Advil and water, the events of yesterday came back to him, and he remembered his father’s surgery. He reached for the nightstand, where he always kept his phone, and the pounding in his head stopped him. “Shit.”
“You’re up?” Chloe’s familiar voice asked.
“Barely.” He couldn’t even open his eyes to face her, the throbbing was so bad.
“Here. I have Advil I found in your bathroom and a glass of orange juice. Think you can sit up and take them?”
“Yeah. I’ll manage.” He inched his head up and pushed himself up until he was leaning back against the headboard. He peeled his eyes open and met her worried gaze.
“You didn’t move once Tripp got you onto the bed,” she said, holding out the pills and glass. “Here.”
He realized he was still in his clothes from yesterday. A glance told him so was she. Accepting the medication, he swallowed both with the juice, drinking slowly, because his stomach was doing somersaults and he didn’t want to throw up.
“Thanks,” he said, handing her back the glass. She placed it on a tissue on his nightstand. “How’s my father?”
Though he’d needed time alone, getting drunk was fucking stupid because he had no idea how his dad was doing after surgery. Jesus, he was so pissed at himself.
She swallowed hard, obviously worried about his reaction.
“Just tell me,” he said, then, catching his angry, misdirected tone, modulated his voice. “Please.”
“Well, I’m not sure what you processed yesterday, but despite the change in stages, they’re very optimistic. And before you say another word, everyone in your family is on board with the news they heard.” She lowered herself onto the bed and sat beside him. “Everyone hopes you’ll come to feel the same way. Your dad needs your support, not worrying about you because you’re upset about him.”
He nodded. “I know. I was an ass.”
She sighed. “No, you were upset and it’s understandable. Now you had your night, pull it together and go visit him,” she said.
He grinned at her no-nonsense tone.
“What’s so funny?”
“Our roles have reversed. You’re taking care of me.” If only he didn’t like it so much.
She looked at him warily. “That’s what you do when you love someone, Beck.”
He stared at her in shock, waiting for her to take back her words, but she didn’t. She stared at him, that damaging phrase dangling between them.
“Chloe, no.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Oh? You’re going to tell me what I can and can’t feel? I have enough of that with my brothers.”
He swallowed hard, but his mouth was dry like cotton and his lips almost stuck together. “You don’t love me, Chloe.” If he said it enough times, maybe he’d convince her. Then this panic running through his veins would disappear and they could go back to the way things had been before.
“You can’t tell me what I feel,” she repeated, rising to her feet. Arms wrapped around herself, he saw how much he’d hurt her, but he had to make her understand.
“Chloe, I rescued you after you were rejected by your fiancé. We had fun together. I was there to cheer you on and watch as you started to rebuild your life. But I was just the right guy at the right time to make you feel good. But that’s not love. It’s rebound.”
She stared at him with tears in her eyes. “Good to know how you feel, Beck. You realize that even if you aren’t in love with me, if you keep pushing people away, you’re facing a pretty lonely life.” She turned and walked out, pulling the door shut behind her.
He watched her go, his heart shredded inside his chest. Needing to remind himself why he’d just hurt her so badly, hurting himself as well, he reached over, opened the top drawer in his nightstand, and pulled out the laminated paper with his sister’s handwriting.
His sister was gone. Her promised positive outcome had never happened. His dad had stage two cancer, not stage one as they’d thought. Once again, the doctors had been wrong.
He looked down at the list. Fall in love and get married. He ran his finger over the words and shook his head. No. He couldn’t let Chloe in. Couldn’t add her to the small group of people he already had wrapped in cotton in his head and prayed every day he wouldn’t lose.
If he could just make her see that he was right, she’d still be his friend. They could still look out for each other but from a distance. And it would be good.
Wouldn’t it?
* * *
Chloe closed herself in her room and didn’t come out until the next morning. She ate a protein bar from her purse for breakfast and used the time to pack everything she’d bought since she moved in. Thank God she’d bought suitcases in preparation for when she left. Her heart was breaking but she had no one to blame except herself. Beck had been one-hundred-percent honest from day one. Falling for him was on her.
Saying I love you to him had been a mistake, but she wasn’t going to apologize for her feelings or, worse, deny them once they were out there. He was too afraid of losing people to see the truth in front of him. He might not have wanted a relationship but they’d had one. Did he love her? That she didn’t know. But he had no right to tell her she didn’t love him or make light of her feelings.
“Rebound, my ass,” she muttered, zipping up her cosmetics case and finishing up her packing.
The last thing she wanted to do was leave Beck and the loft that had become her safe haven. She didn’t want to move in with Jordan and Linc, but she needed to be in the city, not an hour away at her mother’s. So she called Xander, and he’d willingly agreed to let her stay at his apartment uptown. As was typical, Xander was out at the Hamptons house anyway. Still, he promised to meet her at his apartment around ten with a spare key.
She’d called Linc and asked him to do his due diligence on the condo that interested her, but until she had a place of her own, she’d be at Xander’s.
She waited until Beck left for work before coming out of her room. His steps had echoed down the hall, and the beep of him unsetting the alarm sounded throughout the apartment.