Ramsey went back to his food. “What do you mean? She with someone?”
“No.”
“Then it’s not that complicated.” He pointed his fork at Hill. “It’s that fear of getting back on the horse blocking you. I get it. You just need some practice after being out of the game so long.” He smirked. “Which is perfect because I’m about to solve your problem.”
Hill gave him a cease-and-desist look. “There is no problem, Rams.”
“Sure, sure. You’re fine. Everything’s cool. You’re totally not a hard-up, grumpy shut-in. You’re absolutely not on a one-way trip to becoming the get-off-my-lawn guy in the neighborhood.”
Hill sniffed derisively. “Get off my lawn.”
Ramsey chuckled. “See. You’re way too good at that. But listen, I’m being serious. I have something that will help. I was going to talk to you about this today anyway, but now you have even more reason to say yes.”
“No.”
Ramsey lifted his glass and frowned from behind his Diet Coke. “You don’t even know what it is.”
“I know that look,” Hill said, going back to his salad. “Last time I saw that look, we almost got arrested for public indecency.”
Ramsey lifted his hands, palms out. “I swear this is not like that. Hear me out. This is right up your alley because I know that my friend Hill is a man of the community.” He put his hand on his chest. “He is a hero who sacrificed himself to save others. He is selfless and brave and wise.”
Dread was building in Hill. This kind of hand-over-heart, saccharine speech would lead to nowhere good.
“And he believes in charitable causes,” Ramsey said in his preacher voice. “And he would never ever leave his best friend hanging with two unfilled spots at a charity event he’s in charge of for the firehouse.”
“And there it is,” Hill said with a groan. “What’d you get yourself into?”
Ramsey cleared his throat and suddenly took an interest in stabbing more kale. “I may have volunteered to be in charge of this season’s charity event for burn victims. And I might have promised a firefighter bachelor auction. And I may have been blindsided when multiple guys got engaged in the last two months and are no longer available. Impatient assholes.”
Hill stared at his friend, the information slowly falling into place and clicking. “Oh, fuck no. You better not be asking what I think you are.”
“Retired firefighters are eligible to participate,” he said quickly. “And dude, you’re a hero. You’d bring in big cash. And—”
“No,” Hill said with a tone of finality. “Not happening. I am not going up there as some pity case to get people to open up their wallets.”
“Pity?” Ramsey frowned. “That’s not what it would be. You remember women used to like you, right?”
Hill didn’t answer.
“Look, man, I guarantee you’ll get bids that have nothing to do with pity. And really, it’s not even a true bachelor auction anymore. The chief put all kinds of limitations on the event because she thinks the auction tradition is in poor taste. She told us we have to come up with a new tradition next year. So you don’t even have to go out on a date with the winner. All you’d have to do is take the person to the party we have planned afterward in the same building. A little conversation, a little karaoke. All in good fun.”
Hill shook his head. “You’re bent if you think I’m going to do this.”
“I’m a genius actually,” Ramsey said, undeterred. “Beyond helping the charity, this could help with your problem with your neighbor. Hanging out with some woman at the auction who doesn’t mean anything to you can be a good practice run. Because the woman is going to know it’s just for fun and that there are no expectations. You’ll just part ways after the party.”
Hill grimaced. The thought of being onstage, his story being paraded out in front of a crowd made his stomach twist. “I will pay you what you think I’d get at the event, and you can donate it directly to the fund. I’m not up for more than that. Having to make small talk with some stranger who paid for time with me sounds like a special kind of torture.”
Ramsey pressed his lips together, clearly frustrated now. “I don’t just need the money. I need the slot filled.” He gave Hill a no-bullshit look. “This is the first time the station has trusted me with such a big event, and I know everyone is probably expecting me to screw up something because…I have a reputation. But I want this charity to have the best event possible and as many donations and press as I can drum up. That fire at that elementary school last year left a lot of kids with scars and injuries that require a lot of additional surgeries, and all those medical bills are draining their parents’ bank accounts. I want to hand all of them a big pile of money. And I’m not going to be able to do that if I don’t have a solid list of eligible firefighters and a sold-out event.”
Hill’s breath sagged out of him at the words and the honest desperation on his friend’s face. This charity did mean a lot, and families were counting on Ramsey to pull it off. Fuck. How the hell was he supposed to say no to that?
But how could he say yes to being onstage, being paraded around like a hero, being expected to be energetic and upbeat and positive at a party with some stranger when it took almost every ounce of energy he had some days just to get the hell out of bed?
He ran a hand over the back of his head, anxiety trying to take over, but then an idea came to him. One that might at least solve part of the problem. He ran the scenario in his head, trying to imagine it. Yeah. Maybe he could do that.
He’d need help, though.
Ramsey looked at him expectantly. “Come on, man.”
Hill lowered his hand to the table and sighed. “You are going to owe me so big.”
Ramsey broke into a huge smile and set his chin in his hands, fluttering his eyelashes like a starstruck cartoon character. “You’re my hero, Hill.”
“Oh, go to hell.”
Ramsey chuckled. “Auction’s next Saturday. Wear something cute.”
Hill flipped him off.
***
Andi leaned closer to her microphone and adjusted the angle of it. The door to the podcasting room at WorkAround was sealed tight, and the room as quiet as a tomb. “Gina Holiday thought the new guy in her life was too good to be true. He treated her like no other guy she’d ever met. Polite. Respectful. Good listener. David was a breath of fresh air. She thought she had finally found the one.
“But she had no idea that David was simply setting the trap. He would spend the next few months expertly brainwashing her, isolating her from her friends and family, and getting her more and more tied to him and less and less tied to things and people who could help her get away. What felt like falling in love ended up being falling into the hands of a sociopath.”