He chucked me under my chin, lifting my gaze to his. “Precisely. Pure beauty inside and out. Just like my baby girl.”
My smile trembled as I laid my head on his shoulder and confessed on a whisper, “I miss her.”
“I know you do, sweetie. I miss her too.”
We sat there in silence for I don’t know how long, looking through the album at all the happy memories inside. My mom might not have understood me, but she loved me without conditions. Her attempts to change me hadn’t come from a bad place. She just didn’t want me to be hurt. That was all. She was scared that me being different would lead to pain. But once she accepted me for me, I never felt anything but unconditional love.
“It’s getting late. You should head up to bed. It’s a school night.”
I curled my lips between my teeth and bit down to keep the sob climbing up my throat from breaking loose. My dad came and went so fast it gave me whiplash. One minute I’d have him, and the next he’d be gone, just like that. I couldn’t let him see me upset. In this state, he wouldn’t understand and all it would do was agitate him and make things so much worse.
Lifting my head, I looked at him with a forced smile. “You’re right. It’s getting late. Why don’t you go up to bed and I’ll shut everything off down here?”
He leaned in to press a kiss to my forehead. “Okay, pumpkin. Love you.”
“Love you too, Daddy. Goodnight.”
I waited a few minutes for him to get upstairs and into bed, knowing it wouldn’t take long for him to fall back to sleep. He’d always been the type that could pass out as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Once I thought it was safe, I carried the photo album back to the bookshelf beside the fireplace and slid it into place. I made sure everything was locked up tight before shutting off all the lights and heading out to the truck.
I sat in the silent cab as my mind whirled in a million different directions. I could go home after such a terrible night, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want the night to end on such a sour note.
This was supposed to be a rebirth of sorts for me. It was supposed to be the beginning of something. I couldn’t let it start off this way.
The bright colors of the gift bag caught my eye, and I reached over to pull Crissy’s present into my lap. I removed the tissue paper and dug down into the bag before my fingers curled around the items inside.
There was a gift card to the spa Aurora and Lark had taken me to with written orders to pamper the hell out of myself.
Inside the box was a skincare set from Sephora that I knew for a fact had cost a small fortune because I’d been eying it myself but couldn’t afford it. The set came with all kinds of serums and creams and masks for optimum pampering. It was an incredibly thoughtful gift, and I really loved it.
I tore open the envelope to the card, flipping the card open and reading the message scrawled in my sister’s swirly, elegant handwriting.
Here’s to the big 3-0 and new beginnings! Grab life by the balls and live it, little sis. Love you!
Beneath that, her kids and husband had signed their own names with smiley faces and other flourishes.
I smiled as I tucked the card back into the envelope and set it aside, placing everything back into the bag while the words Crissy had written played over in my mind. After the night I’d had, her pep talk came at the most advantageous time. I’d desperately needed it.
I wanted to grab life by the balls and live it. And, damn it, that was exactly what I was going to do.
I kicked off my shoes, shoving them under the seat so I could feel the pedals better, and put the truck in gear.
Reversing out of my dad’s driveway, I pointed the truck away from my house and started in the opposite direction with a specific place in mind. I’d have been lying to myself if I said I wasn’t going with the hopes of running into Stone. But whether or not he was there wasn’t going to change the fact that I was stepping out of my comfort zone tonight. I was done being the wallflower.
I’d only been inside Bad Alibi a few times since I became legal to drink, and each time my anxiety at being surrounded by so many people had forced me to leave within the first half-hour of arriving.
But not this time.
Pushing away the discomfort I felt at seeing how crowded the parking lot was, I navigated around the other cars until I found an empty space in the back. I parked the truck and slid my fabulous heels back on before climbing out and slamming the door shut.
“You can do this,” I whispered to myself as I pulled in a fortifying breath and squared my shoulders. “You can go in there, have a couple drinks, and have fun, damn it. And you will not trip on your heels while walking across this parking lot.”
The bar was so loud when I first pulled the door open, I had a brief moment of doubt that I could do this. But instead of letting it rule me, I stepped inside and slowly made my way toward the bar, keeping my eyes pointed forward so I didn’t stumble and fall flat on my face in front of all these people.
The long U-shaped bar near the back was crowded with people, but I managed to find an empty barstool near the end, and hoisted myself up.
The bartender stopped in front of me, scanning me up and down with a vague sense of familiarity in his eyes. “Willow? That you?” he asked, surprise written across his craggy features.
“Hey, Buck” I greeted. I might not have come to the bar often, but I still knew a lot of these people from seeing them around town. Buck owned Bad Alibi with his wife, Darla, and even though we weren’t close, I still knew them well enough to know I liked them both. That was one of the things about living in a small town, everybody seemed to know everybody.
“What can I get you, darlin’?” he asked while pulling the hand towel from his shoulder and using it to wipe down the bar directly in front of me.
“Um, I’m not really sure. I’ve never been a big drinker. What would you suggest?”
He gave me another look before answering. “Well, based on your fancy get up I’m assumin’ tonight is something special? We’re more of a whiskey and beer place, but if you want, I could mix you up a margarita.”
I gave the big, burly man a bright smile and nodded my head. “A margarita sounds great, thanks.”
“You got it, darlin’.” He got to work on my margarita while asking, “So what’s got you all dolled up tonight? Special occasion?”
“Well, it’s actually my birthday,” I confessed, feeling my face flush with heat.
His gaze returned to mine, his eyes widening with bewilderment. “And you chose to spend it here?”
I couldn’t bring myself to admit that my sisters had bailed on me and that my father, the only person who would have cared under normal circumstances, didn’t remember what day it was because his mind was slowly failing him. I simply shrugged and gave him a grin I hoped didn’t look as fake as it felt. “I figured this is as good a place as any, right?”
“Can’t argue with that,” Buck returned, dumping the concoction he just mixed together into a cocktail shaker and giving it a nice hard shake. “In that case first drink’s on the house,” he said as he poured the margarita into a glass. He stuck a straw in the top and slid it in front of me, shooting me a wink before knocking his knuckles against the scuffed wood. “Happy birthday, darlin’,” he said as he took a step back. “Holler if you need anything else.”