After a very restless night, I actually made it to advisory on time today. Yesterday I was late because I was talking to the guidance counselor about my tutoring sessions. If only he would have mentioned the student I'd be offering my services to. I may have been able to get things switched around.
Although, Zack was a little less invasive after I made it a point that personal matters are off the table. I take my seat next to him and completely ignore the fact that he looks really fucking hot today in his torn black jeans with his hair slicked back. He has this grunge appeal that I find sexy as hell. I've always been drawn to the bad boys. It's sort of why I decided to date Jordan. I thought he was one of the good ones. Smart, sophisticated, strong, and willing to get to know the real me.
After volleyball practice, we'd lie together for hours just talking about life. Even then, it felt wrong, but at the time, it was everything I needed. Although, I never truly let my guard down because, deep down, I knew that we didn't have a future.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Zack bumps his shoulder with mine, snapping me out of my stupor.
Raising my brows, I quip, "Show me the penny."
"Hey, Natalie. You coming to the big party next weekend?" Lacey interrupts by laying half of her body across the table just to get a look at me while she speaks. "It'll be a blast."
I want to ask her why she's even talking to me. Every word that has come out of this girl's mouth has been ill-intended. She's made it clear she doesn't like me, and she needs to realize that the feeling is mutual. "Name’s Nadia, and no. Not if you'll be there." I return my attention to my open drawing book, making no attempt to hide my picture. I know that I'm not an artist, but drawing is a nice escape, especially when dealing with small minded people.
"Oooh, new girl’s got attitude." Lacey laughs and it sounds more like a continuous sneeze.
Zack uses his arm to brush her back into her seat. "Just ignore her. She had no filter."
"Like someone else I know," I mutter under my breath, biting back a smile.
"Hmm, I sense some sarcasm there." Zack shifts his body in his chair to face me. His knee brushes against my outer thigh and it causes my stomach to flutter and my pulse to quicken. "How many times does a guy have to apologize?"
"I wasn't aware that you apologized at all."
"You're right, I didn't." He turns back to face the front and I lift my head up to look at him.
That's it? He's not even gonna give me the first apology?
"You're something else. You know that?"
"Am I? How so?"
"Your hot then cold, fire then ice. I don't even know what to think of you."
"Let's start with your first impression of me. How was it?"
"Fake," I spit out.
He laughs. "You're calling me fake?"
"Aren't you? I mean, you were friendly to me then you let your hussy girlfriend try to humiliate me—which she didn't succeed at, I might add—then you trick me into tutoring you and now you think we can be what...friends?"
"Hold up, girl. I didn't trick anyone." Our knees bump together and ours eyes locked. "That was as much of a surprise to me as it was to you."
"Mmhmm," I tease, though I do believe him. The look on his face when he saw me at the library was proof enough that he had no idea.
"Let me make it up to you. Sit with us at lunch again."
"Us? As in you and her?" My eyes skate to Lacey. "No thanks."
"She can sit somewhere else."
"Excuse you. I will not!" Lacey huffs.
"Most days, you don't even sit at our table. Doesn't hurt you to sit with your girls today."
I shake my head. "No. I'm good. I'm sitting with Bree, anyways."
"She can join us."
Is he really making his girlfriend sit somewhere else just so I'll have lunch with him. It doesn't make any sense. Waving my finger back and forth between him and Lacey, I ask the question that needs to be answered. "Aren't you two together?"
"No. We've been friends our entire lives. No commitments, no strings attached."
"Yeah, just the one I plan to choke you with." Lacey cuts in.
"We run with the same crowd, but we both hang out with whoever we want to. Isn't that right?" He looks behind him at Lacey.
She sweeps the air with her hand. "Whatever. You're annoying, anyways."
Relationships here are very, very strange. If that's even what this is. I'm sure they fuck. But, how many other people do they have on the side? My stomach turns at the thought.
The bell rings and I close my notebook and get up. "You two enjoy your lunch together. I'll be sitting someplace dry." With that, I turn and walk away. Out the door, down the hall and into the junior hallway, making my way to my locker.
"Hey," Zack hollers from behind me. I don't turn around, I just keep on my path. "Wait a minute." He catches up to my side. Huffing and puffing like he just smoked a pack of cigarettes then ran a mile. "Would you stop walking?" He grabs me by the arm. My eyes skate down to his hold on me and I shake him off.
"What now?" I hug my books to my chest and wait impatiently for him to tell me why we're standing here when I have to hike a mile to my locker then get to my next class on time.
His eyebrows dip into a v and he scowls, like his ego is bruised. "Why are you giving me the cold shoulder?"
"I'm not giving you anything, Zack. I don't know you and, personally, outside of tutoring, I don't care to. I just want to pass my classes and graduate, so if you don't mind..." I swing back around and keep walking again, wearing a smile on my face.
Just like every other guy in existence, he wants what he can't have. He can chase me all he wants; he won't catch me. I'm unattainable, especially when it comes to guys who play games. That's exactly what he's doing. Playing some screwed up game.
Once I reach the end of the hall, I turn back around, assuming that he's gone. But, he's not. He's standing there with a notebook clutched in one hand and the other in his front pocket. He's just standing there—watching me. There is something so familiar about his stance. Something that brings back that eerie feeling from last night.
Brushing it off, I pick up my pace so that I can grab my books for my next class. Lately, I've been bringing everything to advisory so I don't have to make the hike back to my locker before first period, but today I forgot. I was just so happy to get there on time for once that it slipped my mind.
Once I have everything I need, I walk briskly back down the halls. Each step sends a flashback of those freaky purge masks outside my door.
It was just some kids trying to get a rise out of me—I won’t let them.
Besides, I have more important things to worry about. Like, passing this quiz in psychology when I missed the entire discussion on it. Not that it's my fault. I wasn't even attending school here when they had it.
I walk into the classroom, and this time, I take the seat closest to the door. I prefer to avoid attention whenever possible. Mrs. Hargrove begins rambling on about the quiz as she passes out a facedown paper. Once she tells us to go, we all flip them over and begin answering questions.