“But it’s nearly noon. That isn’t like you.”
“Do you remember Chloe Chen from down the street?”
“Angela’s daughter?” Momma asks.
“Yes. Well…” I hesitate, unsure if I should tell her about Daddy and Angela's relationship. Momma remarried, but I still leave that part out. “I ran into her the other day and she invited me to a party at The Grove last night.”
“That’s…” she hesitates for a moment before she finishes, “nice.”
“It was a lot of fun,” I tell her excitedly. “I got to see so many people I remember from school, and I met a few new people too. Oh, and Devin was there!” I shrug, even though I know she can’t see me. “I didn’t have much of a social life back home, so it was nice to finally have a normal teenage experience, you know?”
“Did you drink?”
“Mom.” I roll my eyes.
“It’s a fair question.”
“Yes,” I admit. “It was a party. I had some kind of fruity rum; it’s hardly a cardinal sin.”
“I know, I just want you to be careful. I was young in Newton once, too. I know what it’s like.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s a small town. There isn’t much to do but get into trouble. I just want you to be careful. You have this wonderful opportunity waiting for you in the fall; I’d hate if something happened to jeopardize that.”
I blink. “Did I ruin your life that badly?” I whisper into the phone.
“What? No, of course not. I just don’t want you to repeat my mistakes.”
“Got it. Don’t get knocked up. Is there anything else?”
“Veronica.”
“I gotta go.”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I hang up and shake off my annoyance. I know she means well, but sometimes I wish she’d back off. Our therapist says it's her guilt from leaving me back then, but sometimes it feels like she puts too much pressure on me with her attention. I spent the last eight years of my life being the perfect daughter. Now I want to live.
Last night was the first taste of that life and Chloe is right. This may possibly be my last summer to enjoy before the real world drop kicks my ass into adulthood. I don’t want to waste it trying to live up to an impossible standard.
Once my headache starts to subside a bit, I make my way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. After showering and brushing my teeth, I throw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and make my way downstairs.
“Dad?” I say, surprised to see him in the kitchen. He’s wearing his work clothes, and he’s sitting at the table on his phone. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought I’d pop by for lunch to see if you were doing okay, but you were asleep.”
I smile at him and make my way to the counter where I spy a takeout bag. “Is this for me?”
“Yup. Hope you still like cheeseburgers.” He says it as if he’s rethinking the entire meal.
I rip the burger from the bag, unwrap the paper, and take a big bite. “Mmm…so good.”
Dad’s shoulders slump in relief, and he pats the tabletop next to him. “I take it you had fun last night?”
Swiping the takeout bag from the counter, I take my seat and finish chewing. “It was good to feel like a teenager for once.”
“Good. I’m just...thank you for spending your summer with me.” He’s told me as much no less than thirty times in the week I’ve been here.
I reach across the table and squeeze his hand. It’s strange, going from semi-regular FaceTime calls to living with him full time. We’re still trying to navigate our father-daughter relationship, and while yes, it can be awkward at times, I’m just happy I’m here, and he’s sober.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” he asks.
“Chloe says we’re going shopping.” I should probably be working on the blank canvas that’s been haunting me since I got here, but I’m still riding the high from last night and I really don’t want to come crashing back to reality so soon. I know I can’t put off finding my missing muse forever, but I honestly don’t want to deal with it today.
He stands and pulls a few twenties from his wallet.
“Daddy, you don’t have to do that.”
His eyes find mine. “I want to.”
I nod and pocket the cash.
“Alright, kiddo, I gotta get back to work.” He pats me on the head and makes his way out the door. I follow him to the porch and watch as he hops into his landscaping truck and drives off.
I cross my arms over my chest and stare over at Devin’s house. A part of me wants to go knock on his door, but I hesitate. Is that weird? I mean he did walk me home and broke into my room to leave me hangover medicine. I should at least say thank you, right? Before I can overthink it, I walk over to his house and knock on the door. I stand there for a few minutes, but there’s no answer. I exhale and head back inside. Against my better judgment, I grab my phone and open Instagram.
I type in Devin’s name and his profile comes up immediately. He doesn’t post that often, but I scroll through his feed anyway. There’s a picture with him and the girl, Brooke, from last night. A few random artsy, brooding shots, of the side of his face, and one with his grad cap and diploma, and a bunch with a pretty black girl with purple hair. The comments and captions suggest that it’s his girlfriend, or at least it was.
I purse my lips together. Between this girl and Brooke, I’d never stand a chance. Not that I want to. I mean, Devin is like a brother to me, that’s it. Reese on the other hand seems to be into me.
I shake my head. I hate feeling out of my depth, but boys and social media and parties have never been my thing.
I close Instagram and text Chloe.
Me: Please tell me you are going to that party tonight?
Chloe: Duh? You know how rare it is to have a house to party in for a change?! No way I’m missing it.
Me: Can you help me find something to wear. Something that doesn’t make me look like a 12-year-old boy.
I slap a palm over my forehead. I hate shopping for anything that isn’t paint or plants, but I don’t really have anything in my entire wardrobe that’s anything like what the girls wore last night, and while I’ve never been one to try to fit in, I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb either.
Chloe: I thought you’d never ask.
“What do you think of this one?” Chloe asks, holding a sweater up to her chest. It’s pale blue and cropped at the waist.
“It looks like something one of those girls in Clueless would wear.”
She beams at me. “Perfect. Going for a vintage vibe for tonight’s party.”
“Dev said it’s at Reese’s house?” I ask, keeping my gaze focused on the never-ending rack of secondhand clothes. Chloe showed up at my door fifteen minutes after I texted her, practically bouncing with excitement.
She nods, tossing a red and black plaid skirt in my direction. “Reese’s parents are in OBX for their anniversary, and Reese called me and specifically told me to invite you, but I guess Devin beat me to it?” She arches one of her immaculate brows in my direction. A move that on anyone else would be creepy, but it’s somehow comical coming from Chloe.