“There are things you don’t know about me.” I swallow hard, fighting back potential sobs.
“Then please tell me. It won’t change anything. It won’t change how I feel.”
He picks up the fallen contract and places it back on the coffee table. Then he gently takes my hand and guides me to the couch so we can sit down.
“El, before you say anything, though, I need to say a few things first. One, that song is your song. It’s called ‘My Flower,’ after the meaning of your name. I will play for you every single day if it means I get to be where you are.”
I briefly look down at my hands and twiddle with my fingers as the tears still flow. He crooks his finger and lifts my chin up so he can stare into my eyes.
“Number two, I did not ask Rebecca out. It was a dick move to lead you to believe I did. I actually needed her to do some work for me, so I’m sorry I made it look differently. There’s no woman who could ever capture my heart, attention, or affections like my flower does.”
He plants a little kiss on my lips and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Okay, ready to tell me your story?” he asks sweetly.
I nod and find the courage, along with my voice—I owe him this, and I owe it to myself in finally breaking my silence.
“Back in high school I was shy—probably hard to believe.” I shrug my shoulder. “My story with Erick was the typical girl-meets-boy. Then, girl falls for boy, and girl thinks boy fell for her. However, boy just wanted in her pants.”
I sigh and take a deep breath, feeling foolish and weak all over again, as if I were catapulted back to being seventeen—young, innocent, naive, and easily manipulated.
I continue on, “Erick looked at me like I was a challenge because I swore up and down that I’d never have sex with him until I finished high school, yet he finally convinced me. I ended up getting pregnant after that one and only encounter, and when I told him I was six weeks along, he acted as if he didn’t know who I was.”
For this next part, I have to suck in a lungful of air and painfully blurt it out all at once. “So…the pregnancy was ectopic, and one of my fallopian tubes ruptured. They tried to repair the damage, but the one tube couldn’t be saved. I nearly died because of how much blood I lost internally, and it was causing shock to my system.”
Swallowing, I keep going, “Sadly, my terrible luck didn’t stop there because I ended up having a severe infection following the procedure, which meant they had to perform a total hysterectomy. I thought I’d have one tube at least, but what I ended up with was an empty vessel. As you can imagine, it was very painful and difficult to process all this at seventeen. And on top of it, I had an absentee boyfriend who couldn’t care less if I lived or died.”
Sniffling, I admit, “Being a mother is something I didn’t know I wanted until it was taken from me.”
Jamison grabs my hand and squeezes it. He’s about to say something, but I silence him by putting my finger to his mouth.
“I need to just get this all out once and for all,” I tell him before explaining, “The depression I fell into was deep. My parents couldn’t snap me out of it. It was at least a few months before I could even show my face at school. What brought me back from the darkness was when my dad took me into the office and asked me to look over a contract for him because he was stuck on the verbiage. The legalese and project scope came natural to me, and I devoured that document for hours. That’s when he and I both knew I found my passion. It was also the time when I swore off men.”
Jamison gently puts my hand back on my lap and slowly moves in to embrace me in a soul-deep hug. I feel safe in his arms, and my tears now silently flow from my eyes, soaking into his shirt. He holds me for a long while.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispers.
“But don’t you see, Jamison? I can’t give you babies. You keep talking about having a family, and I can’t give that to you, no matter how you may feel about me!” I get choked up and have to pause for a second.
He pulls back, and I gesture at the space between us. “See, I don’t get the point of trying to make us work and waste time when you can be with someone else who can offer you the world.”
James cups my chin with his hand. “Are you done spouting this nonsense?”
I give him a perplexed look, and before I can protest, he silences me with another chaste kiss.
“Elodie, you’re the smartest woman I know. Surely you realize there are other options for having a family. We can adopt; we can find a surrogate. And if none of that happens, guess what? I’ll still have you. You’re who and what matters. Don’t run from me, rabbit. You are a fighter and don’t run from anything. Stay! Stand and fight and be in this with me?”
Jamison Fox is truly one of a kind. I probably don’t deserve him, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting him any less.
“Okay,” I concede. “But on one condition…” I smile through the waterworks.
“El, if you didn’t have terms for this relationship contract, then I wouldn’t know you at all,” he chuckles. “Okay, hit me, what are your terms?”
“Take me to bed every night for the rest of our lives.”
“Say no more, Miss Alcott. I’ll twist your panties like you’ve never dreamed.”
Epilogue
6 months later…
Elodie
I want to please my man. He’s all mine, and I’m all his. It’s important for him to know that I’ll never be a scared little rabbit and run and hide ever again. I’ll fight each day for us, and I have a contract that says so. He shouldn’t have to chase me, but I know he would if it came to it. After all, he’s my fox.
He told me not too long ago that he has this one fantasy, so I want to bring it to life. I’m anxiously waiting for him to get home from the base. He had to meet with Mr. Levitt to close out the project.
Ever since I accepted James into my life as my partner, I also learned to trust him at work. Consequently, I’ve scaled back my involvement with some projects so I can concentrate on school, which I’ll be done with soon enough. It’s been liberating letting go of things.
While sitting on his bed, I hear the front door open, and the butterflies in my tummy happily flap. I’ve been staying at his place a lot lately and even claimed one of his dressers and closets as my own.
I’m wearing teal crotchless panties, a black leather collar with chains that connect to nipple clamps, and a killer pair of black heels. I feel like a bad bitch.
“And what do we have here?” James’s voice is like honey as it washes through me. That predatory gleam in his eyes I’ve come to know so well zeroes in on me.