“I know. I know that it’s stupid to put it off. My dad has lied before, but would he lie to us about something this important? I just don’t know.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Nothing,” he said. “Well, I’m doing nothing. Jordan and I agreed not to email Weston.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. He’s…well, we didn’t tell Dad, but we’re hiring a PI and going to investigate the guy. Jor couldn’t find any information on him online, and he’d rather have some concrete proof before we put it behind us.”
“That sounds smart. Also very much like Jordan.”
A hint of Julian came back at that. He laughed. “Yeah, tell me about it. I don’t know why I didn’t even think about doing something like that, but it makes perfect sense.”
“Yeah,” I said, thinking it through. “You don’t have to talk to the guy if it’s not true. And if your dad has nothing to hide, then there’s no reason not to look into this.”
“Except that it makes me feel shitty.”
I startled at that. “Why?”
“Like I’m spying on people instead of trusting people. Even though I don’t trust my dad. I felt like we were at least working on trusting him again. And now, we have this huge thing between us.”
“You don’t have to hire the PI,” I said.
“But we do. I need to know the truth or else it’ll always burn me up.”
I nodded at that. At least he was finally talking about it. This last week, he’d been completely mentally absent.
“What do you want to do if you find out that he is your brother? Do you want to get to know him?”
Julian’s eyes widened. “I really haven’t given that much thought. I so desperately want it all not to be true.” He sighed. “But also, I don’t even know what I want.”
I covered his hand with mine. “You might want to think about it.”
“What would I even want? I really don’t know. I didn’t really know my cousins, and now, I love having them all around. It wouldn’t be the same. But…I don’t know. If it’s true, it’d be really fucking weird.”
I laughed unexpectedly. “It would be. I’m sure he’d be just as weirded out by all of this as you are. It would take some time for you all to adjust.”
“You’re good at this.”
Years and years of therapy. That’s what I wanted to say, but instead, I just smiled. “Thanks. Worst-case scenario-ing is kind of my forte.”
“I’m more of a best-case scenario kind of guy,” he said with a wink.
He pulled into the parking for Mackenzie Park. We were early enough that there was still enough parking for us to find a spot. As soon as the sun began to set, everything would be jam-packed for miles.
I grabbed my bag and helped him carry blankets across the grounds. The Wrights had already set up a large space at the center of the park. A slew of blankets and a dozen foldable chairs dotted the area. Other people were quickly filling in around them.
“Hey, y’all!” Nora said as we approached. She was lying across her boyfriend, August. His floppy surfer hair was half in his face as he waved at us. Her best friend, Tamara, was seated next to them, her red hair framing her face, her nose buried in a magazine.
It was nice to see the Wright section expanding as everyone drew in more and more people. For so long, the Wrights had been so insular. And now, the Abbeys were here, Emery’s family was present, Chester and my parents had already set up a position nearby, and Piper, Blaire, and Peter were located not too far from them. All of the people that I loved were in one place.
Even Sutton.
Our eyes met across the distance. I dropped the blankets and went to where she sat with Annie. The kids had run off to play with Heidi’s son, Holden, along with Emery’s sister, Kimber’s, kids, Lilyanne and Bethany.
“Hey, how are you doing?” I asked, pulling her into a hug.
She smiled up at me, only barely hiding the grief in her eyes. “It’s been a long day.”
“But you’re here. That’s progress.”
She nodded. “Mav would have wanted me to still enjoy this time with my family. Jason deserves it.”
I took her hand and squeezed. “He really loved you.”
“He did.”
Annie added her hand. “We really love you, too.”
Sutton laughed, fighting back tears. “Y’all are going to make me cry again.”
“No tears,” I said. “Just good times with good people.”
“Thank you, both of you, for caring so much. David has been a help, but having my girls here for me really makes a difference.”
“Always,” Annie said.
“And forever.”
We hugged it out as a trio. Sutton shed a few of those tears, but it was worth it because our friend had survived. She was pieced back together in her own way with a new family and a new love of her life. She was going to be okay, but it was also okay not to be okay all the time. Today was one of those days.
I left them behind, pulling the camera up to my face as I snapped shot after shot of everyone together. Jensen and Emery were at the center of the group, holding their three-month-old baby, Robin. Snap. Heidi dug through a cooler and grabbed drinks for her and Emery, and then she turned and yelled at Holden to behave. Snap. Landon laughed next to her, shaking his head at his son and turning to his brother Austin. Snap. Austin had an arm slung lazily around his girlfriend, Julia. No drink in sight for him. Snap. Julia seemed to be half-listening to whatever Patrick was saying next to her. Austin punched him in the arm, and they all burst into laughter. Snap. Morgan appeared then, collapsing into Patrick’s lap. Snap. Jordan arrived last. His mother on his arm as he helped her across the grounds to our little slice of heaven. She looked gaunt. Snap. Julian jumped from where he’d been putting together our area near Annie and Sutton. He dashed to his mom, and they spoke. I had all three of them in the shot. Snap. Their mom smiled a real thing. I could see how lovely she must have been. Snap. Then they had her in a seat near her siblings. Snap.
So much life. So much vibrancy. Lubbock was its own little microcosm, and I wanted to document it all. Be here for it all. Live through it all.
For so long, I’d thought that I didn’t belong. Now, with Julian finding my gaze, my family standing nearby, and my best friends at my back, I felt like I did belong here with them. With him.
I shivered at the realization and the fear that it immediately elicited. Because if I had it all, that meant I had so much more to lose. And I hadn’t been joking when I said worst-case scenarios were what I was best at. Anxiety had taught me that hard lesson.
“Hey, come sit by us,” Julian said, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
“Definitely.”
“Do you still have that shoot?”
I grinned. “I do.”
He arched an eyebrow. “It’s getting late. The sun is about to set.”
“It is, isn’t it?”
He shrugged. “Keeping secrets.”
And then the sun dipped a little bit lower. An in-between time. A time of renewal. A perfect time for photography, and I was ready.
“Now,” I whispered to Julian.