She isn’t lying. I think I might’ve been here five minutes. Runes took Tor out with him to GameStop, and I quickly changed, then ran next door. It was pure luck Charm was here. A lot of the time she’s out with Fenrir and the kids. I’m glad she’s here, though. I’m so glad.
“I’m good, just . . . busy, I guess?” I say it like a question, but I don’t know what to call this. I’m either with Runes, with Runes and Tor, or I’m at the spa. I’ve been there a few times over the last couple days, making sure everything is in tip-top shape for re-opening, and I think we’re more than ready.
Charm gives me an understanding nod and grabs the hot coffee she has on the table beside her. “Yeah, life has a way of getting busier when you let people into your inner fold. You basically have a family now, just like me.”
As she says ‘family’, my heart drops into my stomach, and I don’t know what to do. I know why I’m feeling this way. I’ve never kept anything from Charm, and the one thing I have is marrying Runes. Charm even knows about Tyler and my little girl I lost. She knows all of my deep, dark secrets, yet the mere thought of opening up about this terrifies me.
I don’t know why it does. Maybe it’s because I promised Runes I wouldn’t tell anyone about us, or rather about what we’re really doing. But now, things are so much more different. They’re complicated. They’re . . . not like I thought they’d be. I figured we’d just fake it ‘til we made it, but now I’m falling head over heels in love with him, and I’m terrified he won’t feel the same way.
Tears well behind my eyes, and I look at my best friend with a desperation unlike ever I’ve felt before. “I’m sorry for not telling you this, just promise you’ll forgive me,” I blurt out. Goosebumps rise over my skin, and I clear my throat, but Charm cuts me off.
“What’re you talking about?”
“I . . . I married Runes.”
Charm’s mouth forms into a small ‘o’, and the reality of what I’ve said hits her like a ton of bricks. I know her better than anyone else, and she’s processing what I’ve just said. I can guarantee right now she’s letting my words run around in her mind on repeat.
“I . . . I don’t know if you heard what you said, but um,” Charm swallows hard and moves her hands around while speaking, “you said you . . .” She stops speaking, looking right at me. She’s waiting for me to tell her this is some sort of joke, but it isn’t. It’s not a joke at all.
“I married Runes. I did it to help him get custody of Tor, but in the process, I’ve fallen in love with him, and I’m scared. Charm, I’m terrified he doesn’t feel the same way.”
Charm waves her hands around in front of her. “Okay, you can’t just start a conversation like that! What the hell!? Holy crap. Holy freaking crap! You’re married?!” Charm puts her coffee down on the table, spilling it over the side of the cup. She jumps up and down and claps her hands together as if Runes and I have been in love for years.
“What’s with the spectacle?” I question Charm, and she grins from ear to ear.
“You have to be kidding me. You just said how you were falling in love with the guy! Don’t act like you aren’t. Of course, I’m going to be excited for you!”
While I might not look like it from the outside, on the inside, I’m happy she’s happy for me. I’ve had friends get angry with me if I’ve kept something from them, but I got a piece of advice from a good friend not too long ago. Her name’s Heather, and I haven’t known her long. I met her right before I opened up the spa with Charm, and she told me it isn’t my job to let everyone know every aspect of my life. It really hit home with me, and I wish more people understood this.
“I don’t know if he feels the same. He might not. Maybe he just wants this to be a paper thing, to not mean anything emotionally.”
“Bullshit!” Charm quickly replies.
“Sorry, what?”
Charm cackles and looks right in my eyes. “If the man only wanted this to be a paper thing, he never would’ve fucked you in the first place. If it meant nothing, he would’ve never taken it a step further. So, I’m gonna make this simple for you, lady. You need to tell him how you feel.”
As much as I know she’s right, it doesn’t mean this will be easy. I’m just as terrified as I was when I started this conversation with Charm. Runes could tell me he doesn’t want any of this, and if he does, well, it’ll break my damn heart.
Chapter Nineteen
Runes
It’s been a few days since the judge granted me full custody of Tor. Not only is it something we’re celebrating at home, but the club wanted to throw a party too.
Sitting in my chair at the table for kirkja, I wait for the last of my brothers to take their seats. Charm and Fern are in the kitchen prepping for the party. Gods, Fern: The mere thought of her makes me remember what we agreed to. This could all be over soon, but I’m praying it won’t be. I’m contemplating the conversation I need to have with Fern. We haven’t talked about it yet, but now the court case is done, if she wants, she can ask for us to have our marriage annulled.
I don’t want to lose her, I’ve had feelings for Fern from the start. She’s not like other women who want to bitch and groan about everything you do. Hell, the woman didn’t even blink when she found out my ex was dead. Everything I’ve ever said to Fern about protecting my family is accurate. I made sure Hillary would never touch him again. Fern just doesn’t know the extent of what I did.
The door closes, and I slam the blunt tip of the axe to the table. “You all have heard already, I got custody of Tor and I moved into Fern’s house to get him out of the club,” I say, starting the meeting.
“Yeah, you gonna finally claim the woman?” Logi chuckles.
“I already have. Fern’s my wife,” I announce, grinning at the shock-filled expressions on my brothers’ faces.
“You did what?”
“When?”
“Why the fuck didn’t we party?”
“What the fuck?”
These are all questions thrown in my direction at once.
“I needed to show the courts I have a stable life for him to be with me.” I shrug.
“So you used Fern,” Rati states accusingly. His tone makes me think he has feelings for her or something.
“No, I didn’t use her. She and I talked about it. She agreed because of what was going on. Tor’s mother was abusing him. I’m not gonna go into detail about it, but I’ll tell you this, the bitch was a part of a child porn ring. Any more than that, it’ll have to be Tor who tells you what he went through. It’s not my story to tell. I will say Hillary is dead. Skadi took her out.” I’m met with silence as I finish.
“Skadi?” Logi’s mouth thins at the mention of Skadi.
“Yeah, Skadi did it. She had no problem taking care of her. Her only price was a marker for when she needed help. Which I didn’t mind giving to her, since you know she is your. . .”
“I don’t give a fuck what she is to me,” Logi roars. “You should have talked to me, Prez. I don’t want that bitch anywhere near me. Not after all this time.”