“Tell me what happened.” It’s not a request but rather a demand.
I lick my lips nervously. “Rory said we were going to meet you. But when we got to the flat, and I saw Liam, I knew he’d set us up. He didn’t tell me why or what he got in return, but I can guess.
“He did this because we hurt him, Punky,” I say with utter regret. “It’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation. We’re all as guilty as one another, but you and I are still alive. We can try to make amends. But Rory cannot.”
Punky stands like stone. “I know ye hate me for it, but I did what I had to. I accept whatever the consequences are.”
Just how he accepted Cormac’s abuse.
He accepts the consequences because he isn’t without feeling—I know Rory’s death affects him. He wouldn’t be human if it didn’t. Puck knew the repercussions of killing Rory, but he accepts them because his need for revenge will always win.
For his whole life, he has searched for vengeance, and it just continues to grow.
“Is Shay your…son?” I ask, seeing as we’re all about truths.
“I don’t know, but he could be. I’m waitin’ on paternity results.”
“Fuck this vicious cycle,” I whisper, shaking my head. “Just how you waited for paternity results about who your father really was? When will this end?”
Expressing my frustrations out loud just makes me feel worse. I don’t know if Punky and I will ever live a “normal” life. We are stuck in an endless loop, always looking over our shoulders to defeat the bad guys. But I’ve come to realize, what if we are the villains?
“So you had conjugal visits then? You had no issues seeing other women, but not me?” I can’t help myself because I need to know.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he sighs. “Aoife was a nurse. She—”
“Nice,” I spit, tonguing my cheek. “She clearly takes her duty of care very seriously.”
“I don’t want to fight with ya.”
“Who said anything about fighting? I was merely asking a question. I mean, it’s nice to know you had time to stick your dick in anything that walks but couldn’t see me.”
“Cami,” he says, defeated. “It wasn’t like that.”
“It’s exactly like that,” I argue, suddenly so mad. “Do you know what she did to me? She took pleasure in seeing me suffer. Her story about doing it to protect you is a load of shit. She did it because she wants a happy little family which I am no part of.”
“If Shay is my son, then I will provide for him,” he says, which I knew he would. “But that doesn’t mean I want anythin’ to do with Aoife.”
“That’s not what I heard,” I dispute, remembering his words like they were spoken mere seconds ago. “No one will understand what you two shared. And you won’t forget it. Isn’t that right?”
His cheeks billow as he exhales loudly. “Y’ve misunderstood what I meant. Aoife was the only good in a place which almost broke me. Ya wouldn’t understand because ya weren’t there.”
“Because you refused to see me,” I counter. “Do you know how that makes me feel?”
“I understand that, but I’ve explained why. Just how you moved on with Rory. I lived the best life I could, considering the circumstances, but it was barely livin’ most times. If I could take back what I did with Aoife, I would.
“I missed you…so fucking much. She was a distraction. I’m ashamed to admit it because all I wanted…all I ever want…is you!”
His confession has the fight in me simmering. But that doesn’t change how fucked up this is.
“Why was I held prisoner?” I can’t deal with anything but this right now.
“Ethan and Eva were just a diversion. You were always the end goal because Sean knows no one means more to me than you.”
I clear my throat, his sentiment touching me.
“He tricked us into thinkin’ we’d won because he knew Rory was on his side. Rory worked with Sean because he wanted out. He knew we weren’t brother and sister. He read Sean’s journal.”
Time stands still. “What?”
“He confessed to me right before I—” He pauses as I can fill in the blanks. “He told me he wanted more time with ye but proposed when he found out I was gettin’ out of prison.”
“Oh my God,” I gasp, cradling my wounded arm. “I don’t know who anyone is anymore. And that includes myself.”
I know my confession has hurt Puck, but everything is so fucked up. Rory is dead. Punky may be a father, and his baby’s momma is a diabolical bitch. Sean and Liam are still out there, threatening our lives. And the list just continues to grow.
Rory’s proposal was fast and unexpected, and now I know why. He knew I would have never accepted when Puck was out of prison because I would have eventually found out the truth. He lied to me. He knew I harbored feelings for Punky, ones I was ashamed of, yet he allowed me to suffer when he could have told me the truth.
I am so sick of the lies.
“Sean has held yer location over me, knowin’ I would do anythin’ to make sure ye were safe,” he shares with me. “I didn’t even know if ye were alive. I didn’t know where to look. Each and every time I think I’ve beaten him, he proves me wrong.
“I wouldn’t gamble with yer life. Therefore, I did what he wanted. I would do anythin’ if it meant bringin’ ye back to me. I’ve done some deplorable things…and I’d do them again. All I wanted was to find ye, and now that I have, I fear yer still lost to me.”
My lower lip trembles, but I bite the inside of my cheek to stop the tears. “So this was Sean’s plan all along? To assert his dominance? He can’t kill you because he needs you. But he can’t trust you either. So he kidnapped me and held me as ransom, knowing you’d do anything he said?”
Punky nods.
“How does he know Aoife? Does he know Shay is your—”
“Yes, he does. Aoife told me he’s been helpin’ them out financially. She disappeared. I didn’t know Shay existed until a few days ago. I suspect Sean had eyes inside of the prison, probably Constable Shane Moore, and figured out why Aoife quit her job.
“She and Shay are just another pawn for him to use against me. He knows I would never abandon my child. He doesn’t know I know they exist, however. I’ve finally got one up on him.”
“And you trust her?” I ask, because I sure as shit don’t.
“I don’t know,” he replies honestly. “Which is why I need to keep her close.”
“Or you could just kill her.” My reply wasn’t supposed to come out so harsh, but I can’t help the way I feel.
Why aren’t she, Sean, and Liam dead already? They are the enemies.
“I would never do that to Shay,” he says, his disappointment evident. “I know what it’s like to grow up without a mum. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone, especially my son.”
I’m ashamed of myself for even thinking it.
“Why did ye take him?”
Now I’m the one who’s disappointed. “I didn’t take him for ransom, if that’s what you’re thinking. Regardless of who his mother is, I actually really like Shay. He is the reason I was able to escape. When Aoife left me alone in the dark, he’d come visit me.