Smokey looked like he wanted to say more.
She waited, not really sure what to expect.
He was a man who’d certainly surprised her. He’d broken her heart. Her relationship with Derek had never come close to the kind of passion and feeling Smokey evoked.
It was all gone.
After several minutes passed, Smokey finally let himself out of the door. She rushed toward it to lock it, and then with as much grace as she could muster, she made her way into the kitchen.
With one good hand, it took a lot more work, but she made herself a nice mug of hot chocolate and then proceeded upstairs where she took a short bath.
Even the bathroom held so many memories, and the tub itself. She could see herself laughing with Smokey, moaning as he touched her in the most intimate of ways.
“It’s over, Ava. You’re not going to allow him to get away with this. You’ve always been open with him. This time, you’re done. You’re not going to be a doormat.”
She sipped at her hot chocolate as her heart continued to break over what might have been.
Life wasn’t fair.
The moment Raven had entered her shop, she’d been happy, figuring the woman had wanted a girl’s chat. Instead, she got a punch to the face and then was tied up and dragged out the back toward a waiting truck.
Never had she been so terrified. Not even when Derek had lost his temper with her.
The club whores had been joyous in hurting her. The pleasure they took was almost scary.
“Don’t think about it.” She put her hot chocolate down, and without wetting the cast, she washed her body.
She tried to wash part of her face, but that was useless.
When the hammer had been brought down on her hand, she thought they’d smashed all the bones, but it was only a small break. One that would be fixed with some rest.
The doctor had constantly been looking at Hanson as if he was the culprit.
All her injuries had been caused by women. Strong women.
Climbing out of the tub, she let the water run away, ignoring the fact it was tinged red from the dried blood on parts of her body.
She wrapped herself in a towel and moved toward the bed. Lying her head down, she pulled the blanket over her. All she wanted to do was block out the world and pretend no one existed.
The truth was, a part of her still wanted Smokey to come and wrap his arms around her, to make her feel safe. It was never going to happen. She’d never allow herself to succumb to him again.
Even though it broke her heart, she and Smokey were well and truly over.
****
The following day, Smokey stood in the church room. The club brothers and Raven were all present. No one had spoken since Hanson had hung up. There was no sign of Ava leaving her house.
He ran a hand down his face, wanting to hurt someone. More importantly, Creed.
“Tomorrow, we collect Ryan,” he said.
Dwelling on what he’d done wasn’t the answer. Not with the club. He had to stay in perfect control.
“We don’t go alone,” Hunter said. “I don’t trust this Carlos at all. It’s a trap.”
“I don’t think it is,” Ugly Beast said. “Sebastian came to us.”
“He’s not the one in control of the entire outfit. Carlos is,” Smokey said.
“Are you guys fucking kidding me right now. That’s it?” Raven asked.
Smokey turned toward Raven. He didn’t dare look at her knuckles. He’d caught sight of them last night when she’d placed a pack of frozen peas across them. Neither of them had spoken any words, but the guilt was so easy to read.
“There is nothing to discuss.”
“There’s not? Are you … fucking wow. We need to go after Creed,” Raven said. “Look what he did.”
Smokey shook his head. “Our time with Creed will come, but not today.” He turned toward Hunter. “I suggest we pack hard. I don’t want to be caught off guard. Ryan’s coming home, and he can be Hanson’s birthday present.”
“No!” Raven slammed her hand down on the table, drawing everyone’s attention. She often sat in the back and only contributed when she really needed to.
“You can leave.”
Raven held her hands up. “This is what Creed did. You think I don’t feel the guilt over what I’ve done?”
Smokey’s hands clenched into fists as Raven continued.
“We’ve got to hit back and hit hard. First, he went after territory, now he’s done this with Ava.”
“What did he do?” Smokey asked. “Fuck all. That’s what he did.” He answered her before she even had a chance to. “Creed didn’t do this. He set the fuel, but we’re the ones who stoked the fire. We’re the ones who took an innocent woman.”
He stopped and pressed his lips together. The way Ava cowered away from him last night would be forever embedded in his mind. “I did that yesterday. Not Creed. I should have looked at those pictures, tore them up, and burned them. He won. I didn’t.” His own insecurities about women had stopped him from doing it.
He’d believed the worst of a woman who’d only shown him to trust her. To love her even.
In one simple action, he’d lost a great deal. Ava was … precious. She would never have betrayed him. He’d waited all night for the police to come knocking at his door. Instead, he was left alone.
Ava hadn’t even called the police. Hanson had told him that she’d been questioned at the hospital repeatedly, looking at him as if he was the one to hurt her.
“We’ve got to do something,” Raven said.
“We do. We … we make sure that Ava is well taken care of. For the foreseeable future, I advise that you keep your distance. I tried to see her last night.” The memory of her flinching away from his touch was right there in his mind. Mocking him. He fucking hated it.
She didn’t deserve any pain he’d caused her.
“Are you okay?” Raven asked.
Smokey pulled out of his thoughts and looked around him. He quickly got back to the arrangement on Ryan. The pickup should be easy so long as there were no tricks. He didn’t anticipate any.
When no one offered up any questions or conclusions, he smacked the gavel down, drawing the meeting to an end. He leaned back and rubbed at his head.
Raven cleared her throat, and he sat up, surprised to see both her and Ugly Beast still in the church. He wasn’t in a rush to leave the room. He needed the peace and quiet. Last night, he hadn’t slept once.
In a few hours, he intended to take over from Hanson.
“This isn’t your fault,” Raven said. “This my fault.”
He sighed. “Raven, go away.”
“I know you’re angry.”
“Then why are you still here? You’re a club brother as far as I’m concerned, and that means I can beat the shit out of your ass.” He stood up and the chair flung across the room with the speed at which he moved.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“I don’t need your apologies. Go and do whatever job you need to fucking do. I’m done listening to your shit.”
He was through with her. The last thing he wanted was to listen to more excuses.
Raven’s hands tightened into fists.
“Do you want to throw down?” Smokey asked.