A growl slips from under my breath and I watch the rain slap in loud torrents on the sidewalks, filling the Boston streets with thick puddles of murky water. The guy calls my name and I go over to retrieve my sub, staring down at the massive thing in my hand.
“You said a large,” the guy reminds me and for the first time in what feels like a week I smile a genuine smile.
“Yeah. I just had no idea a large meant this. How big is this thing?”
The guy chuckles. “Sixteen inches.”
“I guess I’ll have plenty of leftovers then.”
I sit back down at the stool by the window, staring at the massive sub but not able to unwrap it. I wasn’t hungry when I ordered it and I’m even less so now despite how good it smells. I’m tempted to call my father. He was an i-banker before he retired last year so surely he’s had some experience with this.
But I already feel like I’ve failed in so many ways and going to him only seems to compound that.
Is this what Alexander meant when he told me to keep my eyes open? Was he already aware that shady shit was going down in this office?
Or is he trying to set me up too?
A tap on the glass startles me and my head flies up to find Rina on the other side of the glass. Her blonde hair is wet, high up on her head in a messy bun with a few wayward strands clinging to her damp, flushed cheeks. Her rain-soaked scrubs cling to her sweet curves like a second skin.
My chest clenches as I blink at her, taking her in, unsure what this new feeling flowing through me even is.
She smiles. And it’s so pretty. It makes her eyes sparkle and her cheeks glow just a little more. Even when the air is dull and dreary and dark. I’ve done everything I could not to think of her the past couple of days. She spent a night ignoring me. Even if her body said something else.
But I’m not the sort of fool who chases women who don’t want him.
And by all accounts, Rina doesn’t want me.
So yeah. I tried not to think of her. Everything I fucking could. And nothing has worked. I’ve never met a woman I’ve thought about so much.
The door opens and she steps in, immediately taking the seat beside me without uttering a sound. The scent of her wet skin hits me hard, aggravating me beyond words.
“That looks good.”
I laugh, shoving my sub in her direction. “It’s chicken parm. Be my guest.”
“My favorite is eggplant. It’s basically fried breading with sauce and cheese but I pretend it’s healthy because it technically has a vegetable in it.”
“I’ll buy you an extra one then.”
“Why aren’t you eating this one?”
I shrug, staring at her oh so pretty green eyes as that familiar tension starts to swirl between us. “Not hungry.” For that.
“Long day?”
“Long week.”
“Me too.”
“I’m still mad at you.”
She sighs, but she doesn’t cower away. “I know. I’m sorry about what I said.”
And when I look into her eyes, I see that she is. But there is more to it than that. A half-assed attempt at a smile, sure, but her eyes are dull and there are dark circles beneath them. Inadvertently I reach out to touch one and then the next, hating how she tucks her chin and turns her face.
“Don’t do that. Tell me.”
“It’s not your business.” She jerks away and I frown, staring into the side of her obstinate face. Why am I still bothering with someone who does not want me to bother?
“Your friends go home?”
“Yes. This morning.”
“Your friend has purple eyes. They’re kinda freaky.”
She laughs, loud and light, and I find myself matching her smile, even if it hurts just a little. “They’re beautiful.”
“I prefer green eyes.”
She stares at me soberly. “I’ve always been partial to blue.”
I sigh, sagging back in my uncomfortable stool and folding my arms across my chest without removing my eyes from her. “It’s been a week, Angel. Why am I not over it?” Why am I not over you?
I should have been over her last Friday afternoon. I wasn’t then and I’m still not now. I’m a fourteen-year-old boy with a crush on the popular girl he can’t have.
“Ego?”
I smirk. “I think it’s more than that, but it’s nice to know your opinion of me hasn’t improved. Keep guessing, it’s a lot of fun for me,” I mock. “And while you’re at it, why don’t you up the ante and kick me in the nuts just to drive your point home.”
“Huh?”
I shake my head. “I shouldn’t care, Rina. But I do. Why is that?”
“Same reason I said it in the first place, Brecken. We have chemistry and it’s dangerous.”
It’s true. And normally that would scare me. I don’t have the best track record with women. I date them for a couple weeks or months and then I grow bored. But for three years I’ve thought about her. Not a lot. But often enough. It was more curiosity as to why she ran out on me. Now I know why, and it doesn’t make me feel better.
Because here she is.
Sitting right beside me and I can’t have her.
Not sure if it’s irony or karma but either way it sucks.
But all I can focus on is, “So, you like me.” I bounce my eyebrows suggestively.
She snorts, rolling her eyes derisively but there’s that hint of a blush again. It’s especially cute on someone who you know isn’t a blusher. “If I wanted a cocky asshole with a big swinging ego, I’d go date one of the surgeons.”
“But they’re all work and no play. Not much fun. Whereas I can be a lot of fun as you remember. And I just so happen to have a big, swinging… ego.”
She growls and I can see I’m pushing her. Truth, I’m just a bit too fucked in the head right now for games. She can see it in my eyes because she asks, “Are you done yet?”
“Yes. I’m done.”
“I almost didn’t come in here. I saw you and debated continuing on. That’s likely what I should have done. But you looked like you needed a friend. So here I am. Don’t make me regret that.”
“Listen, I had a real shit day at work,” I tell her, needing to change the topic before I cup her wet cheek in my hand and kiss her anyway. “Wanna come over and split a bottle of wine with me? Help me eat my too-big sub? I can get you an eggplant one if you want.”
She weighs my offer for an impossibly long minute. “I could go for that, actually.”
“Me, the wine, or the eggplant?”
She laughs and with that sweet sound some of the heaviness that had been sitting on my chest eases. “I’m not sure. They all sound so tempting.”
“Even me?” I quip, unable to hold the taunt from my voice.
Her teeth catch her bottom lip. “Yes. Unfortunately, even you. It’s exactly why I should say no instead of yes. But you’re not the only person who could use a distraction tonight.”
“You have no idea.”
“Can I trust you?” she asks. “I’m not coming over if you’re going to make a move on me.”
“I’ll behave.” Because while everything else around me feels out of control, she doesn’t. She feels good and simple—like home—while being anything but. She understands me when no one else does. “Let me go order your sub.”