I made sure everything was written in an email.
And when Rich asked me how things were going with him as my client, I also made sure to email him back directly about James Darcy. Today, Rich replied via email. It was the first time he’s emailed me in two weeks. He emailed me directly about James Darcy. Rich mentioned two other stocks he heard about that would be perfect for James.
Only nothing about this is perfect.
Everything about it is so fucked I hardly sleep at night. I hardly eat. Rina has been my only saving grace. The only breath of fresh air. The woman I’ve fallen so hard for, she makes all the misery of my life feel better.
“It can’t get serious,” Wes says for me. “You’re moving back to New York, right?”
“Yeah,” I mutter under my breath, because that’s what I’m supposed to do. That was the original plan.
“Well, things can change, right?” Drew continues. “I mean look at me and Margot. Talk about unexpected.”
Wes and Jonah laugh. “Yeah, not so much, mate,” Jonah says. “We all pretty much saw that coming a mile out.”
“I didn’t though. Not until I kissed her. Then it was—” Drew cuts off mid-sentence as Aria falls backward off her chair, tumbling to the floor. Wes and I shoot up, ready to race over there when Rina helps her up. Aria looks at Wes and I look at Rina and I see it.
She told Aria.
Aria was clearly not happy about it.
But at least she knows. And if she knows, then we can be out in the open. Even if she’s not thrilled about it now, she’ll get over it when she realizes I’m in this. That Rina’s not a hookup or girl I care nothing about.
She’s the girl. The one.
“Damn,” Jonah hisses. “That didn’t look good.”
“No,” I agree, my voice low. “It didn’t.” I continue to watch Rina, watch as she drinks her martini like it just became her Olympic sport. Watch as she talks to Aria, saying more. “Do me a favor, guys? Don’t return to the table until I do. I need a few minutes with Rina without Aria knowing.”
Wes curses under his breath and I clasp his shoulder, giving him a squeeze and a shake.
“Last time I ask.”
“Better be,” he grumbles.
“Promise.” I toss down the last of my drink, throw a hundred on the counter and then head in the direction of the bathrooms, making sure as I pass the table I give it a wide berth but catch Rina’s eye. She doesn’t look good. Pale and upset.
Jesus, Aria. I love you more than my life, but sometimes you can be a real bitch.
I motion for her to follow me and go straight for the back hall where the bathrooms are. It’s a dead end back here, dark and quiet, and I don’t have to wait long. Rina appears a few minutes later, her blonde head cast down, watching her feet as she walks.
“Hey,” I say, grabbing her hand and twining her fingers with mine. “What happened?”
She blows out a breath, tilting her chin and meeting my eyes. Cold. Distant. Detached. “What happened is that I just lied to my best friend.”
“What?”
I step in closer, and she doesn’t move away, but I can tell she wants to. I can tell she wants to be anywhere other than here with me right now. A sick sort of dread clenches my chest.
“I joked around about you and I hooking up since we’re the last two singles. She fell off her fucking chair, Brecken. That’s how upset she was by that prospect.”
“Well, yeah, but she’ll get over it.”
She’s shaking her head before I can even finish my sentence. “No. She won’t. She told me flat out she does not want me seeing you. She had said it before, but not like this. This was adamant. This was no fucking around.”
“Rina—”
“So I lied to my friend and told her nothing was going on.”
Anger creeps up my spine. “Why would you do that?”
“Because that’s how it has to be!” She rips her hand from mine. “We can’t do this anymore. I will not risk my friendship with your sister for a guy who isn’t planning on sticking around. Hell, I’m not even sure I would then. Your sister has been the best friend to me. Honest and loyal and good. She is a fucking good friend, and this is how I repay that. By betraying her.” Her voice catches and instantly her eyes drop, trying to hide her emotion.
Dammit. Aria. What did you do?
“What did she say?” I seethe the words. I’m not mad at Rina. I’m fucking furious with Aria. She had no right. None!
“That you’re a player. A womanizer. Destroyed her friendships. Same thing as always.”
“But you know that’s not true. That’s not who I am.” I slam the side of my fist into the stucco wall before running my fingers through my hair. “Goddammit! Why the fuck can’t she get over that shit already? That’s not what happened, Rina. I swear, it’s not. Yes, I slept with two of her friends in high school. I was open and honest with those girls that it wouldn’t go anywhere. Not a repeat or a relationship or anything. They agreed. They fucking said yes to that and then after, they freaked out. A few of her other friends tried with me, but I told them no after what happened with the other two. I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone or mess with anyone. I didn’t know Aria lost her friendships over it. I had no clue and if she did, that’s wrong and on those girls. I was honest from the start with all of them.”
“I believe you. I know you’re not like that. I’ve seen it. But it doesn’t matter.”
I reach out, grabbing Rina by the waist, holding on as tight as I can without hurting her because she’s slipping away. I feel it. She’s running because that’s what she does.
My forehead drops to hers as I stare into her eyes. “It does matter. I’m not that guy. You’re all I see. You’re all I want. I’m crazy about you, Rina. So fucking crazy that I don’t even care about anything else. So fucking crazy that I’m changing everything up for you. For us.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t even know what that means.”
I growl, frustrated past my breaking point with this. My lips slam down on hers, my hands splaying between her shoulder blades, holding her against me. I need her. I need her closer and it’s like she’s not here at all. Like I’ve really lost everything.
“It means I’m with you,” I snarl against her. “That you’re mine and I’m yours and no one else’s. Please, Rina. Don’t run from this. Don’t run from us.”
I want to tell her I love her. Those are the words slamming through my head. I love her and I can’t lose her.
But I can’t say it. This can’t be the first time I say those words to a woman. To her. Not when she’s ending this with me. Because that’s what she’s doing. I’m fighting for her and she’s already done.
“Don’t end this,” I plead, not even caring if I sound like a pussy. “Give it some time. Let me talk to her. Let me convince her I’m not that guy. She’ll adapt. She’ll get over it. She always does.”
But Rina just shakes her head. “I can’t do that. She won’t, Brecken. I… I care, okay. About you. So much. When I never wanted to, I care a lot. But I can’t just let this go and hope she adapts.”