“You know very well that you cannot return to your own townhouse or be seen within society,” she interrupted, not having any compassion for him at the moment. “If you wish to do so, then you run the risk of having another attempt made on your life.”
“I am well aware of that,” came the sharp answer. “But might I be able to linger here for a time, until your father returns?” She saw the slight frown between his brows and felt her own draw downwards, wondering at his request. “I confess that I am not in the least bit eager to return to the rooms and the quietness that comes with it.” His lips twisted and he looked away. “The silence has become rather oppressive.”
Catherine considered this for a few moments, wondering if this silence, this opportunity for Lord Rutherford to do nothing other than think about the sort of gentleman he was, had been the reason for his flushed face when he had spoken of Lady Serena. “There is not to be any opportunity for further conversation, Lord Rutherford,” she answered with a hint of regret in her voice which she knew she did not truly feel. “My sister and I must prepare for the ball this evening.” One shoulder lifted in a half-shrug. “How unfortunate.”
He grimaced, his eyes dark. “Then mayhap I might go to the library to seek out one or two books to read,” he suggested, clearly unwilling to go directly back to his room. “I have nothing whatsoever to do.”
“Of course,” she answered with a tight smile, rising from her chair. “Although you must return at once should my father’s carriage return to the house.”
Nodding, Lord Rutherford rose from his chair, looking a trifle relieved. Lady Ann got to her feet also, accompanying them to the door but then excusing herself, stating that her maid would be waiting for her so that she might begin preparations for the evening.
Catherine walked in silence next to Lord Rutherford, her steps rather quick. The sooner she removed herself from Lord Rutherford’s company, the better, she decided. Her impression of him had not improved, even if he now showed a little more embarrassment when it came to speaking of certain young ladies.
“I am sure you will do very well this evening, Lady Catherine.”
“Yes,” she answered quickly, not wanting to blush demurely or show anything other than practicality. “I am certain it will all go very well indeed. I shall make sure to mention your name to both Lady Serena and Lord Nottingham, and thereafter shall gauge their reactions and consider what has been said.” She lifted her chin just a fraction as she looked across at him. “I do wonder what they will be.”
Lord Rutherford glanced at her but dropped his head, his eyes resting on the floor as they walked together. Catherine was surprised by this, for she had always thought him to be rather arrogant, filled with a sense of his own self-importance and caring very little for what others might say or think of him. Had the silence of his room and his own company made such a difference to his confidence in such a short time?
“You are unlike any other young lady of my acquaintance, Lady Catherine.”
The door to the library was held open for them both by one of the footmen and Catherine, having had no intention of entering the room with Lord Rutherford, found herself stepping inside almost at once.
“I do not know what such a remark might mean, Lord Rutherford,” she said truthfully, wondering why she felt such eagerness to understand it. “Do you dislike that I will not bat my lashes at you, look at you with hopeful eyes, and hang onto every word that might come from your lips?” She arched one eyebrow as she looked at him, seeing how he turned his head away and finding a laugh escaping her. “I am afraid you shall be heavily disappointed, Lord Rutherford.”
“So it seems, Lady Catherine,” he replied quietly, no smile on his lips or look of mirth in his eyes. “You make such remarks that sting at my heart.”
“Then I shall continue to make them,” she said swiftly, not feeling even a twinge of guilt, “in the hope that, when it comes time for you to return to society, you might be even a little changed.”
He let out something of a snort at this, although he did not meet her eyes, Catherine noticed. She felt herself rather pleased, hoping that Lord Rutherford truly would be something of a changed gentleman when the time came for him to return to society. The last thing that London needed was for him to be just as he had always been, for there were already far too many rogues in amongst the ton.
“I shall take my leave,” she said, bobbing a quick curtsy. “Good day, Lord Rutherford.”
“Wait.”
She jerked around, looking down to see his hand tight on her arm. Her heart quickened in her chest as she looked up at him slowly, seeing the heat in his face and how his eyes rounded, clearly as surprised as she at what he had done.
“Forgive me,” he mumbled, dropping his hand and lowering his head. “I only meant to…” He did not manage to finish his sentence, leaving Catherine to wonder if he knew what he had been doing.
“It will not be long until we speak again,” she said slowly, thinking that mayhap he was finding his lack of company to be very difficult indeed. “I shall come to your room tomorrow, when I am certain that my father is still abed or when he has gone out for his afternoon calls, as he is inclined to do.” Her expression softened just a little, the spark of anger over his hand on her arm fading from her eyes. “That will not be too long.”
“It will be very long indeed,” came the miserable reply. “I am not at all used to being in my own company for such a prolonged length of time, Lady Catherine. I believe I told you that I would find such a thing very difficult, and indeed, I have been struggling with that very thing.”
She looked up at him, taking in his miserable expression. His mouth was turned down at the corners, his eyes fastened to the floor. There was a heaviness in his drooping shoulders and the lines burrowed in his forehead and, for the first time, Catherine felt a flicker of compassion in her heart.
It was not an emotion she wanted to feel, and she tried to push it from her heart almost immediately, finding that she could not easily do so. Disliking the feeling intensely, she cleared her throat and forced a tight smile to her lips. “I am afraid it must be as it is at present,” she told him, rejecting the small urge to stay in the library with him for a few minutes longer in order to quieten his struggles. How many young ladies had he treated with callousness? How many had been left to themselves, his attention turned somewhere new, leaving them embarrassed and ashamed? So why now should she feel any sort of compassion for his difficulties at present? “Until tomorrow, Lord Rutherford.”
He did not move, his head still low and his eyes downcast. “Until tomorrow, Lady Catherine,” he muttered as Catherine turned on her heel and made for the door, feeling such a sense of guilt that she almost hesitated and turned back around. But she was nothing if not determined, and it was with great strength that she thrust aside her emotions and hurried out of the room, leaving Lord Rutherford watching after her with dull, sorrowful eyes.
“Good evening, Lady Catherine.”
Catherine smiled and curtsied, exchanging a few words of greeting before continuing on her way. With her sister beside her, they continued to search for Lady Serena, making certain to greet their acquaintances with welcoming smiles and a few warm words, although neither of them lingered for an overly long time.