Jesse had held his friends’ babies, and he’d felt the exact same way. Flying into war zones on a rescue mission, tornadoes, and red-haired women didn’t scare him as much as a tiny baby did.
“Merrylee, the social worker, who was a childhood friend of your mother’s, said she could pull some strings and we could adopt you right away,” Sonny said. “I was the one who wanted to wait. Your mother wanted a family, not an only child, and I wanted to see how we’d do with one before I consented to having more babies in the house. When you were two years old, Merrylee called and said she had a three-year-old and his year-old brother who were available to foster like we did you, and in six months we could probably adopt them. I was in a turmoil. I always figured that if we did take in another child or two, you’d be the oldest and inherit the farm when I was gone, and by then you were mine…my son…my child. I didn’t think I could love any others the way I did you.”
Jesse’s tears that time were of joy, not disappointment, but he still kept them at bay. “That would have been a big decision. Three boys who were stairsteps. A lot of work would be involved in raising us boys, but why are you telling me this now?” Jesse stopped beside a fence that was almost on the ground.
Sonny whipped his cell phone from his shirt pocket. “Henry, we’re about a quarter of a mile west of that old fallen oak tree. Fence needs fixin’ today if you can see your way to get it done. We’ll need to move cattle into this pasture tomorrow, and there’s no way this fence will hold them.”
“Tell him I’ll take care of it this afternoon. He shouldn’t have to work on Saturday afternoon,” Jesse said.
He listened for a few seconds and then said, “Thanks a lot. Jesse made it home a few days early. He’ll take care of the fence. Why don’t you come on over for supper tonight?” He listened for another minute, and then put the phone back in his pocket. “He says to tell you welcome home, and he’s looking forward to seeing you tonight.”
“It’ll be good to get a visit with him, too. Now, tell me, Dad, where is this Merrylee lady now?” Jesse asked.
“She married and moved to California right after we got Lucas and Cody. Died last year with pancreatic cancer. She and your mother kept in touch, but they hadn’t seen each other in years.” Sonny sighed. “I wanted Pearl to fly out for the funeral, but she wouldn’t leave me, said she wanted to remember Merrylee like she was when she brought you boys to her. I’m telling you this history because you need to hear it and understand that…” He paused.
“Understand what?” Jesse asked.
“That it doesn’t matter whether a child comes to you as a baby or already up and running around, that kid becomes yours as much as if it was flesh and blood. I worried about bringing Lucas and Cody into our lives because I was afraid that I couldn’t love them as much as I did you,” Sonny said. “I’m a rough and tough old cowboy, son. I don’t cry very often, and I’m not as romantic as I should be with your mama and saying all this ain’t easy for me. I love all three of you boys, and you need to know that. I haven’t even given you a choice about steppin’ up and runnin’ this place when Henry retires, so I’m givin’ it to you now. I took over this place from my dad, and he took it over from my grandpa. It’s Ryan land, and it needs a Ryan to run it. Each of you boys have taken a different path up to now, and I don’t want you to feel—”
Jesse laid a hand on Sonny’s shoulder again and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m here, Dad, because I want to be, and I’m not going anywhere. You raised me to be a rancher. I’ve given enough of my time back to helping others. I’m glad to be home, and I’m glad to take over the reins for Henry.”
“And someday for me?” Sonny glanced down at the cane.
“Like you said, a Ryan needs to run this land, and I’m a Ryan, maybe not the oldest son, but I can do the job—but not until after we celebrate your hundredth birthday,” Jesse teased. “And thanks, Dad, for telling me all that. It’s not easy to open up like you just did.”
“No, son, it’s not,” Sonny said, and nodded, “but sometimes it’s very necessary.”
The last time Jesse had been this emotional was when he came home in the back of a plane with two flag-draped caskets carrying a couple of his friends. That was a sad, heartbreaking day. Today was a happy one. He was home. His father had just told him how much Jesse meant to him. But the emotional roller coaster left him as drained as the time he had escorted his friends back home for their funerals. He had to man up just like he did all those years ago, compartmentalize, and think about something else.
“Hey, how on earth did you get Addy to give up her job and come to work for you on a ranch?” Jesse asked. “Mama said she is an RN. She must have been making really good money.”
He drove slowly around the last half of the fence line. When he had been younger, he and his brothers checked the fences on trail bikes. They had wanted horses, but Sonny thought bikes and four-wheelers were more efficient. Pearl had told Jesse that it had nothing to do with what worked better. But the truth was that when Sonny lost his beloved horse, he swore that he would never get attached to another one.
“It’s not all about the money,” Sonny chuckled. “Mia couldn’t raise sheep to show at the fairs while she lived in town, and your mama was so worried about me that she wanted a full-time nurse in the house. We offered Addy room and board and a good salary. Mia could have the whole ranch to grow up on, plus we said we would pay for her college expenses. We didn’t intend for Addy to do farm work when she moved in, but pretty soon she was out there on a tractor and doing what she could to help out. They’re both good ranch hands, and until the last few months, Addy made sure all my medical stuff was in order. She helps Grady do all that now. If they hadn’t gotten to be friends before she moved in with us, I doubt that he’d make the trip to the ranch every week. I’d hate to think I’d have to go to the clinic and sit for hours waiting to see my doctor. Grady reports back to him, and I only have to go in to see him every other month this way.”
“Is he Mia’s father?” Jesse’s brow wrinkled when he frowned.
“Have no idea, but I can’t imagine it,” Sonny answered. “She moved out to the Panhandle right after you left for the Air Force. I expect Mia belongs to someone she met out there. I always thought maybe you would ask her out, thick as y’all were back in high school.”
“We didn’t want to ruin a friendship.” Jesse wondered what life might have been like if they had dated, and maybe she had settled down in one of his home bases. They would probably have a family by now. Sonny and Pearl would have the grandchildren they’d always wanted.
“Friendship, huh? That’s crazy thinkin’ there, Jesse,” Sonny said. “Your mama and I were good friends before we married. That just made everything better afterwards. We already knew how to talk to each other…” he chuckled again, “and how to argue. You and Addy always reminded me of me and Pearl when we was young. Like I told you, your mama wanted a family and grandkids. You three boys are all starin’ forty in the eyeball right now, and ain’t a one of you brought us home grandbabies, so Mia stepped in to fill that place for us.”