Grace narrowed his eyes. “I’m not dumb,” he sulked.
“I know. You’ve got an IQ of a hundred buzzenteen. Whatever. You’re an idiot, and if you don’t stop pulling Hunter’s chain, I’m going to disown you. Hunter’s trying to be a good guy. Can’t you see that?”
“See what? I’m just trying to get to know him!” Grace complained. “He’s your secret friend. You didn’t even introduce him to the rest of us until Felix needed help!”
If he was honest with himself, Grace would admit that he was a little hurt. He and Josh had been best friends since the second grade. He’d confided everything to Josh: first blowjob, first time he’d gotten high (which had happened simultaneously, because junior high kids shouldn’t flirt with high school kids, that’s why), and every theft from when he’d stolen candy from the local convenience store to the time he’d shoplifted from the guy who discriminated against Stirling because he was Black.
Josh had never berated him or shamed him—and, in the case of the shitty clothing-store guy, Josh had gone back and jimmy-rigged the guy’s security system and set up all his mannequins in obscene and hilarious positions in the storefront window, because Josh was solid that way.
Josh was not as bent as Grace—for one, his sex partners had been few and far between and fraught with terrible things like “feelings” and “monogamy.” He also tended to consider the victims of his crimes, making sure that the person he stole from or messed with was an actual out-and-out bastard, instead of someone who happened to be in his way. But that moral compass in Josh more than made up for Grace’s decided lack of one. If Josh hadn’t been there, telling Grace, “No, that’s a bad idea. Please, for me, don’t,” Grace would have been dead, in prison, or addicted to something by now, if not all three.
So when Josh had rounded up his friends to bail Felix out of a jam, Grace had been surprised, to say the least, to find that Josh had other friends besides him, Molly, Stirling, and (inexplicably) Chuck. Chuck was odd enough—who was this big, muscly guy with the Texas drawl who liked to take all the strangest humanity classes at U of C?
But at least Chuck talked and laughed and joked—was, in fact, brutally quick-witted, which only made sense because Josh liked him. Josh was kind to people who couldn’t keep up with him, but he didn’t get close with a person unless they could follow his devious, questing mind. Josh may have given Grace crap about having an IQ of “a hundred and buzzenteen,” but Josh, in fact, was only a few points shy of Grace, which he knew because they’d taken the same tests in high school. In fact, Grace suspected Josh of shaving points off his own tests just to give Grace the edge.
Grace could privately admit he would have badgered Josh until death about being smarter than he was, because Grace really was that insecure.
He couldn’t help it. Josh’s family may not have been conventional, but he’d had two parents who may not have been in love, but had certainly loved each other like a brother and sister, and who had definitely loved him. And whereas Grace’s parents would do pretty much anything to be out of the country while Grace hit milestones like first recitals and middle-school graduations, Josh’d had Uncle Danny. That man had snuck him postcards through a secret mailbox and actually flew into the country to appear at everything from play performances to birthday parties, all while avoiding Felix because they were broken up then.
Danny had flown from Ireland to sneak in and out of Josh’s hospital room after he’d broken his arm and gotten a concussion—not once, but twice. Grace’s father had been unable to leave a business meeting in Chicago when Grace had overdosed after trying heroin for the first and only time in high school.
Josh had, though. Josh had brought Felix and Julia, and they had stayed at his bedside for two days, and then they’d brought Grace home to their house, where he’d stayed until he and Josh had left for the dorms at U of C.
Grace had given up drugs after that. Coke made him even more obnoxious, and after waking up in the hospital, an angry Josh at his side, he didn’t want to risk losing the one person in his life who gave a true goddamn about him.
But that made Josh’s secret friendship with Hunter even harder to deal with. Apparently they’d been hanging out since January, and Grace hadn’t even known about him until they’d pulled the job to help Felix in late March.
And judging by Josh’s irritated side-eye, he knew that was what this was about.
“Hunter is quiet,” Josh said. “Chuck loves everybody, and you’ve known Stirling and Molly since grade school, but Hunter is quiet. He’s been to war, for fuck’s sake! He doesn’t need foolishness.” Josh gave Hunter a quick glance and scowled, obviously not convinced that he was sleeping. Fortunately, the flight attendants were coming by with drinks and snacks, and while the cart was in the way, Josh lowered his voice and murmured in Grace’s ear.
“I think his last boyfriend did a number on him, Grace—or something like that. There’s pain in there. Don’t fuck with him. Please. I know he could probably kill everyone on the plane and then land it and walk away. But he won’t, because he’s a good guy. You could probably twist him into knots and then walk away and leave him to bleed, but I need you to not do that for the same reason. I don’t call on your better angel often, Grace, but I need you to give him a little play now. Steal whatever you want—but leave Hunter’s heart alone.”
Grace paused for a moment, stung. “Am I that bad?” he asked, and he was a little shocked to hear the hurt in his voice.
Josh—being Josh, of course—turned compassionate eyes on him and grabbed his hand without self-consciousness.
“You’re my friend, Grace. I love you. But you’re so brilliant and so… restless. As a dancer, you are so graceful you practically float. You’re like smoke—you drift along in the wind. But you… you are afraid to know people very well. You know me and my family, and I’m honored. You are kind to our friends, and I’m grateful. But I’ve seen how you treat hookups, and it’s not pretty. Your dildos get more affection when you’re done with them.”
Grace tried to jerk away, but Josh took his fingers and pressed them to his lips.
“I know why,” Josh said quietly. “You think anybody you let close to your heart is going to let you down. You’re so smart, you think you’ve figured out how to stop that from happening. But it makes you emotionally clumsy, Dylan. And me, Stirling, Molly, my folks—we know how to avoid getting walloped. But Hunter’s entire life is predicated on not letting people down. If he lets people down, they die. And you two have to work together. He’s not going to just one-and-done you, because your life may depend on him. And how can you trust him if the two of you aren’t talking anymore?”
“And how can I trust him if I’ve hurt him,” Grace said, swallowing. Well, Josh had said he was smart, but apparently not smart enough to get this right off. His throat ached a little, and he found he was clinging to Josh’s hand. “But why won’t he even get to know me as a friend?” he asked plaintively, glancing over at Hunter now that the beverage cart had moved away.
Hunter was looking back.