“I told him he didn’t get to tell me what I was or was not ready for,” Zara said, remembering the way he’d growled at her.
“Bet he loved that.” Bethany chuckled. “They love it when we tell them they aren’t in control.”
“Sorin rarely questions what I—” Elle started but Jen cut her off.
“You and Sorin are weirdos. Shut it!” Jen turned back to Zara. “The rest of us completely understand. The male Canis lupus sort of loses his ability to think rationally when his female doesn’t simply go with the flow of what he thinks is best, safe, yada, yada.”
Zara could only agree. Wadim had never responded to her so dominantly. In fact, she thought he’d have her clothes off before the words left her mouth. Instead, he’d immediately closed the bond and started listing off reasons why she couldn’t possibly be ready to take that next step. “He told me I hadn’t had time to process my trauma, and that if we moved too fast, I would wind up regretting it and could be traumatized more.”
Jen frowned. “What’s he planning on doing? Stringing you up with a sex swing while wielding a crop and telling you to count your spankings for not calling him sir?”
“I don’t want to know why you just said that or how you even know what a sex swing is, or about spankings and… I think I’m going to puke.” Sally’s words spilled out, and her face actually turned a little green.
“Oh, shut up, Felicia.” Jen huffed. “I’d give my right boob if you’d tell me honestly Costin hasn’t spanked you at least once. And I bet you even liked it.”
“Why’s it always the right boob?” Jacque tilted her head and looked at her friend.
Zara heard a coughing to her right and glanced over to see Rachel wiping hot chocolate from her mouth. The healer glanced at Zara, and her shoulders shook with silent laughter. Zara agreed, but she wasn’t sure if the trio was actually trying to be funny or if they genuinely meant what they said.
“How often has she offered up her right boob is the better question,” Elle said.
Peri pointed her glass at her fae comrade. “What she said. Why would you want to be lopsided?”
“I think I remember the sex swing thing was in the book,” Bethany said, her finger tapping her chin.
“Told ya we should get the book,” Jen murmured.
Rachel walked over and took the empty seat on the other side of Zara. The healer’s lips turned up in a gentle smile. “They mean well, but focus isn’t their strong suit.”
Zara glanced around the room. “Yeah, I’m starting to figure that out.”
Rachel’s face sobered as she met Zara’s eyes. “How many days ago did this happen?”
“Six.”
“Have you two talked about it since then?” the healer asked.
“A few times, but he usually just shuts me down with ‘I’ve got lights to put up.’” Zara rolled her eyes. “Since our argument in the sitting room, the day that Jen called me out in the kitchen, he won’t stop to talk.” She paused and glanced at Jen. “Thanks for that.”
Jen raised her mug. “That’s what I’m here for.”
“We’ve just sort of been existing together. Small talk. How was your day, are you going to bed yet, can I get you something to eat? I think he’s hoping I’ll just forget.”
“Forget that you want to finish the mate bond?” Jacque asked. “The thing you two were literally created for?”
“Just because he’s the pack historian doesn’t make him a genius,” Crina pointed out.
“Good one,” Jen said, holding up her hand for Crina to high five it.
“You’ll probably just have to do what I did,” Bethany spoke up.
Jen’s mouth formed an O and she nodded. “Yes, that. You totally need to do that.”
“What?” Zara asked, not entirely sure if she should try anything that Jen was so excited about.
“Drake and I went through something similar. He decided he couldn’t be intimate with me because he was afraid of hurting me. But”—she held up a finger—“he had no problem kissing me and teasing me with seduction. So, I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. I stripped down naked and told him I was going to stay naked until he stopped being ridiculous.”
“She even answered the door naked.” Jen gave a proud grin. “If I didn’t know she had a vagina, because I literally know she has a vagina, I’d say this girl has a solid pair of balls.”
Peri held up a hand. “Can I just point out that ba—”
“No!” Sally and Jacque said at the same time.
“And it worked?” Zara asked. “You being naked proved to be too much of a temptation?”
Bethany shook her head. “No. Not at all. Dude wrapped me in a sheet and safety pinned it. Then let me waddle my naked ass here to the library for a girls’ night. But then I found out I was pregnant and suddenly he was here carrying me back to our suite and couldn’t keep his hands off me.”
“They like pregnant.” Jen nodded. “Totally gets them hot.”
“Like, seriously intense,” Jacque agreed.
“I can’t get pregnant if he won’t touch me,” Zara pointed out.
“But you can get naked,” Peri said. “In fact, I could work some magic where clothes literally won’t stay on your body. You put them on, and they just disintegrate away.”
Jen’s head whipped around so fast Zara was surprised it didn’t roll right off her shoulders. “I want that,” she pointed at Peri. “Why haven’t I had that?”
“Because you have no trouble keeping your clothes off.” Peri raised a brow at her.
Jacque nodded. “I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her naked more times than I’ve seen her clothed.”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t like it.” Jen grinned.
“It’s just better not to engage with her.” Sally sighed. “You know it just encourages her.”
“So, Z,” Peri looked at Zara, “you want me to make you naked?”
“That just sounded so wrong,” Crina said and then shoved a cookie in her mouth as if she was trying to keep from saying more.
Zara thought about it, like seriously considered it, but she didn’t think she could just strut around naked. Her body had too many scars, too many things she was already worried would turn her mate away from her once he saw her in the flesh, not just in her mind like she’d shown him when they’d first met. Finally, she shook her head. “No offense”—she glanced at Bethany—“but I don’t have the lady balls for that. Let’s just say that I didn’t leave the vampires with my female confidence intact.”
The room suddenly became completely silent. Zara glanced around at the surrounding faces. She didn’t see any pity, thank goodness. She saw understanding from Bethany and Sally. Peri, Jen, Jacque and Elle looked ready to kill someone. Crina and Rachel both seemed to peer at her in awe.
“You’re a fighter,” Rachel said.
“You didn’t let them break you,” Sally added.
“Wadim has never made me feel unwanted.” Zara’s voice shook. “He’s been so easy to talk to. I’m trying not to question him. But I can’t help but wonder if he’s the one that’s not ready. He knows how my body was damaged. Maybe he’s worried he won’t be attracted to me.”