This hadn’t been the agreement, he knew. Trey had intended to fuck Magnus, not the other way around. It was easier that way. Trey could keep his distance that way.
But at some point, he’d lost his determination, given in, and now he was eager to feel Magnus inside him.
When Magnus’s lips trailed up his spine once more, Trey didn’t move. He remained where he was when he said, “Fuck me. Fuck me now.”
A deep groan echoed in the small space, and he could feel the air being displaced as Magnus moved around. He heard the ripping of foil, sent up a silent thank you for a man who was always prepared. Then the sound of a cap opening told Trey Magnus had found the lube he kept there for those times when his palms were just too damn rough to do any good.
“Oh, fuck, yes,” he groaned, pushing back against the finger that slid inside him. He twitched and jerked as Magnus skillfully teased his prostate, drawing ragged breaths through his lungs as he fought to maintain his composure.
Trey let it overwhelm him, the way Magnus fingered him, adding another, then another until Trey was breathing hard from the stimulation and the bite of pain.
And when Magnus withdrew, replacing his fingers with his cock, Trey braced his hands firmly on the wall and accepted the brutal thrusts that shook him to his very core. The slap of their bodies, the rush of the water, their grunts, their groans, it all coalesced into sensory overload. And when Magnus came, Trey was quick to follow with Magnus’s name on his lips and a violent shudder that nearly swept him off his feet.
After washing up, rinsing off, then shutting off the water, they returned to the queen-sized bed, bodies colliding all over again. This time, Trey took his time, used Magnus’s body in an effort to give and take pleasure in equal measure until they were both too tired, too wrung out to do anything but drift off.
When Trey woke a few hours later, it was to find that regret had set in. Not because he was alone in the bed, Magnus having slipped out like a thief in the night for the second time. No, he was grateful for that. The regret came from knowing he’d allowed himself to feel too much once again. He’d promised himself he would stop this, stop letting himself be used, stop succumbing to his desire to not be alone.
He feared he was exactly what his ex-husband had accused him of being: fucking needy.
As he lay there in the darkened room, his thoughts drifting to Magnus, to what they’d done and how fucking good it had felt, Trey knew this wasn’t going to work. Not for him. Inevitably, he would push Magnus away. No, better yet, he would chase Magnus away, and Trey was sick and fucking tired of being the one left behind because of his absurd need to be wanted.
Which meant the celibacy thing really was a good idea.
Abstinence was his only real option.
For real this time.
And for the foreseeable future.
Chapter Fourteen
Tuesday, February 16, 2021
Travis sat in his office listening to the meteorologist go on about the epic winter storm that was blowing through Texas. Admittedly, it was the first major storm Travis had seen like this. At least that he could remember. They’d actually gotten snow already, big, fluffy flakes, something that was rare for central Texas.
But it wasn’t the four to six inches that the weatherman predicted that had everyone worried. No, that was the ice and the record low temps that were taking a significant toll on the power grid. As of now, they hadn’t lost power, but Brendon and Cheyenne had, which meant they probably would at some point. As for the water, well, it was spotty at best. The emails from the utility companies said the water treatment plants had lost power, affecting the water, so they were to expect to be without for some time.
Oddly enough, it wasn’t Mother Nature or her wrath that had Travis so preoccupied. Everyone was settled in place, getting regular updates from family on the group text, so he was sure they would reach out if there was a problem. And if worse came to worst, they had the ability to move and shift people around to accommodate. For now they were hunkering down, hoping it wouldn’t last long.
Which meant Travis was left to focus on the sealed envelope sitting on his desk. Nothing nefarious, just your standard number-ten white envelope. On the front was his and Gage’s names, scrawled in Kylie’s lovely cursive. Beside it, the gold-plated letter opener Kylie had bought him when she’d been updating his home office.
The lawyer Kylie had hired to handle her will had delivered it a week ago, and Travis couldn’t bring himself to open it, much less read what it had to say.
“Daddy-O! Daddy-O! Let’s make a snowman!”
Like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Travis snatched the envelope, sliding it into his top drawer just as Kade was storming into his office. The little boy was bundled up in a coat, mittens, scarf, and earmuffs, only his little nose and eyes visible on his face. It was a wonder he could see.
And the sight of him made Travis smile.
“A snowman?”
Kade nodded enthusiastically. “Daddy said we could.”
“Well, you better get to it.”
“With you, too. Daddy wants you to help.”
Travis swallowed hard, a ray of hope igniting in his chest even as he wondered if Gage had actually said that. Things weren’t exactly kosher between him and Gage these days. In fact, they rarely spent any time together, and when they were under the same roof, it was usually without conversation.
Oh, but their interactions weren’t completely hindered. Every night Gage would come into the guest room Travis had moved into. And every single night they would fuck like two men who hated each other but secretly craved what the other could offer. It was only during those hours that Travis felt any sense of calm, though he wasn’t sure he was supposed to.
“Come on,” Kade whined.
Knowing it would only disappoint his kids if he didn’t join them, Travis pushed up from his chair.
“All right, all right. Let’s do this.”
“Yay!” Kade took off, waddling back the way he’d come.
Travis pulled on his wool-lined Carhartt, also something Kylie had bought for him, and walked out onto the back porch. Gage was holding Maddox in his arms while Kate, Avery, and Haden were smacking their hands on what appeared to be a snowball. It wasn’t much of one, certainly not what most people expected would turn into a man of any sort, but it was a start.
Kade raced over to them, squealing with excitement.
“You better scoop more snow,” Gage told them, his gaze swinging around to Travis.
For a moment, they stood there staring at one another.
Like every time their eyes met these days, something clenched deep inside Travis. It was true—whenever he looked at his husband, it reminded him of what they’d lost. He would immediately think of Kylie, wishing she was there with them.
At the same time, he was reminded of what he had to lose if they couldn’t keep it together. Although he still couldn’t sleep and he’d lost nearly ten pounds from not eating because he missed Kylie, he also missed Gage. The man had been his rock for so long, and not having him there … well, it was killing him slowly.
“I want a giant snowman,” Kade yelled, swinging a purple shovel—one they’d bought to make sandcastles at the beach—around. “The biggest one ever. Bigger than a building,” he exclaimed, hopping to reach as high as he could.