He wanted to tell her to think about all the people she interacted with on a daily basis in Coyote Ridge. They all cared about her and she cared about them, which made them more than acquaintances.
“My mother hates me; my father pretends I don’t exist.” Her tone remained quiet as she continued. “The only person I ever felt close to was my brother. But he obviously didn’t care enough about me to stick around.”
Baz couldn’t imagine losing her brother had been easy. And because Jeremy James had taken his own life, he understood why she would think he had abandoned her. It was difficult for people to lose loved ones to mental illness.
“I’m sorry about your brother.”
Her gaze swung to him slowly. “That was bad enough, but then my parents blamed me.”
That was something he hadn’t known. “Why?”
JJ shrugged. “They needed someone, I guess. After all, it wasn’t their fault. Couldn’t be. Saint Mom and Dad, the greatest parents on the planet.” She sighed. “Since I was the only one left, I got the honor of being responsible for pushin’ him to the point of no return.”
Damn.
“Don’t you dare feel sorry for me,” she said, although there was no force in her words.
Baz didn’t respond, knew telling her she wasn’t responsible wouldn’t do any good. Not right now.
“And all that’s just proof that I can’t do this.” She stared back at him. “You deserve better than me, Baz.”
Unable to stop himself, Baz scooted closer, put his arm around her shoulders, and had her relax against him. He kissed the top of her head, brushed her hair back. When she leaned into him, he took it as a good sign. Twisting so he could look down at her, he lifted her chin with a finger, tilting her head back.
“I don’t want anyone else, JJ. Since the day I met you, you’re the only one I can think about.”
She didn’t say anything, but Baz could practically hear her thoughts. There was no way Molly’s name didn’t pop into her head.
“This is a relationship,” he said softly, firmly, continuing before she could interrupt. “I’m not goin’ away. You and I both know that’s not what you want. We deserve that chance.”
Her green eyes were glassy once again, and he held her gaze for long seconds before he leaned in, pressed his forehead to hers.
“I love you, JJ. You might not want me to, you might not even believe me, but I do. And I’m gonna continue lovin’ you even if you push me away.”
She sniffled, but her head tilted, her mouth moving closer to his.
“I don’t expect you to love me back,” he managed. “Not yet. But you will.”
Again, he knew she was thinking about Molly, and it made his chest ache.
“For the time being, let me love you and you just be content with that. Let’s keep doin’ what we’re doin’. This friendship … it’s important. And while we’re doin’ that, let me show you what it means to be in a relationship, show you that you’re better at it than you think you are.”
“But—”
“Let me, JJ,” he said sternly, pulling back to look down into her face. “That’s all I’m asking. One day at a time. It doesn’t have to be difficult.”
Her eyes were wide, but he could see hope there. Possibly for the first time since he’d met her, she wasn’t poised to argue with him.
“What do we do on the first day?” JJ whispered, and those words made his heart thump harder.
“Well, I suggest we go back to bed, you let me hold you for a few hours so you can get some sleep. That’s all, JJ. I just wanna hold you. Then tomorrow we’ll see how it goes.”
“And go to the aquarium?” she asked hopefully.
“Whatever you wanna do. Aquarium, beach, whatever.”
“That sounds like a full day.”
“It can be.”
“Okay.”
Baz cupped her face, smiled. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. But one day at a time.”
“As promised.”
When she let out a giggle as he was lifting her into his arms, Baz knew this time would be different. It would require effort, but the one thing he knew with absolute certainty was that JJ was worth it.
So very worth it.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Friday, March 12, 2021
Brantley ran along the water’s edge, Tesha keeping stride beside him. He focused on the feel of the sand beneath his feet, the salty breeze on his face, his body having found its natural rhythm, giving him the ability to focus his mind.
He’d come out this morning before anyone had woken in an attempt to get some perspective. He knew the coming weeks were going to put pressure on the team. The change alone was going to cause some tension, and he would have to deal with all that plus the challenge of proving their worth to Sniper 1 Security.
They had spent the past six months on the hunt for Juliet Prince, and while it hadn’t been their sole focus, it had taken a significant amount of their time. That was over. Done. There was nothing to fall back on, no excuses to be made. It was time for the next chapter in their story to be written. Was he ready? Absolutely.
Yet there was still the matter of the choice he and Reese had made in that motel parking lot in Port Isabel. They had left Juliet Prince to die, and while he didn’t regret that she was dead, it wasn’t a decision he’d ever seen himself making. At some point, along with all his other demons, Brantley figured it would rear its ugly head and he would have to deal with it, too.
Brantley ran through the wet sand until his thighs screamed and his lungs burned, but he couldn’t seem to outrun his thoughts.
Tesha let out a bark then took off at a sprint, leaving Brantley behind.
Up ahead, he saw Reese walking toward them at a leisurely pace. Brantley closed the gap quickly, slowing as he approached, wanting to catch his breath before he said good morning to his man.
As he walked, his muscles cooling, he had another thought. Brantley wondered what the next chapter in their story would entail. He smiled to himself, realizing he didn’t know the answer, but he was looking forward to seeing where it took them.
“You didn’t wake me,” Reese said, squatting down to pet Tesha.
“I didn’t,” he agreed, continuing to move so his muscles didn’t lock up. “Thought maybe you’d sleep in.”
“I tried, then JJ waltzed right into our room, tryin’ to talk me into goin’ to the aquarium with them. Figured I better hightail it before I did somethin’ stupid.” Reese smirked. “Like say yes.”
“What? You don’t wanna go check out the sea turtles and dolphins?”
“Prefer not to, thanks.” Reese stood tall. “But she did manage to wrangle everyone else into makin’ the trip.”
“Everyone? Even Luca?”
Reese fell into step with him. “I think he’s lookin’ forward to it. Big bad Luca Switzer’s got a soft spot for sea life.”
“When’re they leavin’?” Brantley asked.
“She didn’t say. They were startin’ breakfast.”
“Please tell me they’re makin’ eggs and bacon.”