"Don't worry. I have a lifetime supply of wraps. I'm well practiced at safe sex."
“That’s good to know, but some people think of it as more than sex.”
“Define it,” I say with a knowing grin. When she doesn’t answer, I do. “It is sex, Sami. No strings. It’s my way of life.”
“Do you think about the girl?”
“Of course. I’m not a monster. I also don’t give off any false vibes of commitment.”
“Well, for your information, Maura has been texting me all day. She's sure she's in love. She knows you’re going stag to the prom and has a plan that includes forever.” I start to talk, but Sami is on a roll. “And by the way, according to her, you're the best." Her voice does this sing-song thing when she relays Maura's messages.
"Oh, I am the best, but love and forever? No way." I shake my head. "I told her the same thing I tell them all: I'm not a commitment kind of guy."
"She mentioned that," Sami says. "She also asked me about your favorite color. Your favorite food. Your favorite TV show...on and on. She's got it bad."
I bypass the street to our neighborhood and keep driving.
As familiar scenes pass by the truck windows, I chastise myself.
I knew better than to do it with Sami’s friend...that was our understanding. Sami’s connection makes it harder to walk away. The thing is that I didn’t find Maura or go looking for her.
She found me.
I should have followed my gut and told Maura no.
In my defense, I did—the first time and second. A man can only say no so many times. And Maura was persistent. She also spoke not only to my good sense but to another part of my anatomy—the part that has a mind of its own.
"Where are we going?" Sami asks as she looks out at the freshly cultivated fields.
"How about coffee? We can go to the shop in Spencer and avoid friends." Yes, I mean Maura.
Sami shakes her head. "No, I'm broke."
"I'll buy," I offer, but we both know I don’t have much money either.
"No. How about the lake?” She smiles up at the blue sky. “It's too nice to be inside."
I nod, seeing the blue sky and sunshine.
A few minutes and a few dirt roads later, we’re beyond the Johnson city limits. I pull down a well-traveled lane and we come to a stop. Parking, I turn off my truck. The lake Sami mentioned isn't big. It isn’t one surrounded by homes or summer cottages. The best part of it is that it's kind of isolated. The entire lake is located on private property owned by some guy who lives far away. By the look of the old gate permanently removed from its hinges, he hasn’t been here in years, maybe decades.
Over time, the lake has become one of the hangouts for local teenagers. It's not just used by teenagers though. Dads bring their kids here to fish all year round. Because of its size, it freezes to a safe thickness for ice fishing, and in the warmer weather they wade into the water or stand on the shore. In the heat of the summer, families who don’t have their own cottages or lake access come here to swim.
We won’t be swimming. Not today.
This is only mid-May and it's too early in the year. The water would be freezing cold.
I lead as we walk through the tall grass to the edge of the lake and up an embankment to some high rocks. It's the perfect spot. From this height you can see down into the depths of the dark water and over to the lane. No one can sneak up on you here, and you can see on forever. It’s like being on the top of the world.
"Truth or dare," I say once we both settle on the warm rock.
Sami sways her shoulders back and forth as she contemplates my question. "Truth. You know I'd never lie to you."
"Are you still holding out?"
She smiles with her eyes gazing down. "Do you mean have I put out yet?"
"I mean, has Todd gotten in your pants yet?"
"Those are two different questions. Pick one."
My neck straightens and my chest aches a little at the thought of that dickhead with his hands down Sami's shorts. After all, I’m a guy, and I know how guys can be. I don’t like the idea of anyone doing that to her.
I guess I feel protective of her.
Then I remind myself that Sami is my friend. What she does is her business, not mine. I have no right to expect her to stay a virgin when I'm screwing every other girl out there. "First one," I say, asking if she’s still a virgin.
"I still am, but I don't think it can last much longer."
I sit taller. "Sami, if that ass is pressuring you..."
"That’s not what I mean. I mean, I think I want to. You yourself boasted of Maura’s expertise. It makes me think that I’m the last one out there, a unicorn.”
“Aren’t unicorns a good thing?” I smile at my memories. “I remember this freckled little girl who had unicorn wallpaper in her bedroom.”
“For the record, you know I hated that wallpaper.”
“Don’t do prom night, Sami. It’s too cliché.”
“That’s what Maura said.”
Oh great.
Sami went on, “I just don't know if Todd’s the forever kind of guy. I want forever, but I also want...” She grins. “College and adventure.” She leans back on her arms and looks up at the crystal blue sky. “I don’t know what I want.”
“We don’t have to decide right now, do we?”
“Now, it’s your turn,” she says.
Sitting up and leaning near the edge, I peer down at the water. The lake is easily twenty feet below us. In the summer there were many times we'd jumped from this very spot into the cool spring-fed lake below. “Give it your best shot.”
"Okay. Truth or dare?”
I look up at her sparkling green eyes and realize that she's thinking the same thing—the water. I can practically see her consider getting up and jumping or making me jump. She would do it too, clothes and all. It’s part of what I love about her.
It's not that I don't want to jump. If it were summer and twenty degrees warmer, I wouldn't hesitate, but well, my better sense replies, "Truth."
Her lips come together for a moment before she smiles. “Do you think you'll ever be a forever kind of guy?”
Shit! That isn't what I expected.
I sigh as I lay back on the warm rock and stretch out my legs. “Truth?”
“Always.”
“I really don't see forever in my future. I’m selfish and I know that. I don’t have any desire to change. I don't see me being committed to anyone but myself. I know that makes me sound like an ass, and I probably am, but forever is a really long time."
Sami lays her head back beside me. "What if I never find that forever guy?"
I reach over and squeeze her hand. "You will, but if you don't, you'll always have me."
"Always?"
"Always and forever."
Sami
Eight years ago
I practically bounce on my toes when I see Marshal’s truck turn down the street. I can’t believe he came all the way to Ann Arbor for me. In reality, I didn’t ask him to do it. I just texted him and told him how upset I was that Josh had to leave town for a job interview.