“He’s a good man,” I say.
“The best,” he says. “Saved my life that night. Became my best friend. Ultimately, became my boss. Hell, he’s even the one who introduced me to Catrine. Everything I have is because of Slade and what he did that night. So if he needs me to escort some woman out of a party or drive you somewhere, then I do it. No questions asked.”
“I’m glad he was there that night,” I say, knowing Jon’s presence there that night probably saved Slade too.
Jon releases my hand, looking over at me. “If you let him, he’ll pull you down off that ledge too.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
SLADE
Paige Hudson, Nashville is typed into my search engine.
Nothing on my Paige.
Paige Hudson, Tennessee.
More empty results.
Paige Hudson, Facebook.
Same results.
The more I try, the more I realize how little I actually know about her. I don’t know where she went to high school or where she briefly attended college. Her name and birthdate are the only two pieces of substantial information I have on her, other than her address, which is the same as mine.
I have her former home address, and I’m sure I have her social security number on the employment and insurance forms I made her fill out, but nothing that tells me who she really is.
Pushing my chair back from my desk, I stare out my office window, the lights of Nashville turning on for the evening. My offices sit on the thirtieth floor. From this chair, I can see the Cumberland River snaking its way along downtown Nashville with Nissan Stadium in the background. Not far from here, the bars and honky-tonks of Broadway are filled with college students from Vanderbilt, locals, and tourists ready for a good time. And the smell of Tennessee barbecue fills the streets. Somewhere on those streets below, people are hooking up, breaking up, and falling in love. I wonder how many of them have Googled their partners?
You don’t own your own business these days without having the ability to run a background check on your employees. It’s a pretty common practice, although I never did one on Paige. Considering what I thought was her profession when we met, I probably should have. But seeing her with Finn, how much she loved him, and the conditions they were living in, I knew she was a good person.
One email to the right person, and I could have all the information on her I want. It’s tempting, but I won’t do it. Searching for someone on social media is far different than doing a full-scale background check. I know Paige would never forgive me for something like that.
Even if Paige never found out, I don’t want to learn things about her that way. I want her to tell me. I’ll be damned if my imagination isn’t getting the better of me. I keep thinking Finn’s father abused her or raped her, and she’s on the run from him.
I just don’t know why she wouldn’t trust me enough to tell me that. I could help her.
“Something interesting out there?” Paige says from behind me.
Swiveling around in my chair, I see her leaning against my doorway, her hair a little messy from the rain, her jeans and T-shirt slightly wet. God, she’s beautiful. What could be so terrible that she can’t tell me? She let me think she was a “working girl.” She let me think she was with my dad. She told me about how she grew up. What is worse than all that?
“Jon gave me his key card to get in,” she says softly. “I hope that is okay.”
“Where’s Finn?” I ask, standing up but not going to her.
“He fell asleep on the car ride back from the ranch. Jon’s circling the block with him. I wanted to see you.”
I toss my phone down on my desk. “I have a security app on my phone. You can check it. You’ll see I’ve logged in twice since I’ve known you. The first night I hired you and . . .”
“I don’t need to check some app,” she says, stepping closer. “I’m sorry.”
I take a deep breath, almost wishing I could be mad at her. Turning my laptop toward her, I say, “And just so you know, I was Googling you.”
“Don’t think I have much of a footprint in cyberspace,” she says.
“That by design?” I ask.
All I get is a shrug.
“You have to tell me something. Let me in. At least a little bit,” I say.
“I have,” she says.
“You have to give me something more, Paige.”
“I’m giving you my love,” she says, stepping closer to me, her eyes welling up. “My body, Finn. Can that be enough?”
If anyone knows how hard it is to let someone love you after you’ve been through hell, it’s me, but I’m greedy when it comes to Paige. I want all of her—now.
She clears her throat, sucking back in all her emotions. Her posture straightens, and she looks me right in the eye, asking, “Do you want me to go?”
What the hell kind of question is that? She honestly doesn’t seem to know what it means to have someone love you. Love sticks, and it doesn’t go away the first time the person pisses you off. I know that better than anyone. No matter the terrible things my father did, I’ve always loved him, despite himself and despite the fact that I don’t want to.
“Don’t ever ask me that question again,” I say, taking her hand. “The answer will always be the same.”
Looking down at our joined hands, she says, “I wasn’t mad about the security cameras.”
“Could have fooled me,” I tease, pushing her hair off her face.
She takes a huge breath. “Even though I was taken from my mom when I was a teenager, I still snuck out and visited her, took her food or money if I had any. She wasn’t a great mom, but she still was my mom. She was the only family I had. No matter how terrible things were.” She looks up at me. “Does that make sense?”
Love sticks.
Even if it shouldn’t, love sticks. Even if the person neglected or abused you, love is hard to walk away from, especially between a mother and her child. Nodding, I say, “So you stayed in touch even after she lost custody of you?”
“On and off. I’d try to stay away, but something would always pull me back.”
“Like Finn,” I say. She nods. Even though there’s a shit ton more I want to know, I realize this is how I’m going to have to get to know Paige—in bits and pieces, like a trail of breadcrumbs that hopefully leads me to the whole story.
These are the broken, beautiful bits and pieces that make up the woman I love.
“Did you ever talk to anyone? Get counseling? You went through hell.”
“When I was in college, they had free services, so I went. It helped. But there’s a bond between a mother and child that’s hard to break.”
I know that better than anyone. “Anything else?” I ask, hoping to gather another piece of her.
“Eloise,” she says, cracking a smile. “My middle name is Eloise.”
*
Paige is out like a light. For someone who struggled with insomnia at the ranch, she sure is making up for it now. I wish the same was true for Finn. I’ve heard him over the monitor twice already tonight, and it’s only one in the morning. It’s not like him to be so fussy. Paige got up with him the first time, so I guess it’s my turn. She didn’t say that, but it only seems fair.