Home > Things I Wanted To Say (But Never Did)(15)

Things I Wanted To Say (But Never Did)(15)
Author: Monica Murphy

“I like seeing you have a backbone, Savage.” He squeezes my neck again, tighter this time, making the air in my throat clog up. “Keep it up.”

He releases his hold on me and walks away without a backward glance, his steps hurried as he exits the library. I remain in the alcove, swallowing hard, desperate to calm my breathing, my racing heart. I hate how much I just enjoyed our interaction. His fingers on my skin, the gentle threat beneath them. I wanted the pain. I was leaning into his palm, silently begging for it.

I hate myself for wanting it.

For wanting him.

 

 

Six

 

 

Whit

 

 

After I leave the library, I go to Elliot—who’s still curled up in a ball on the ground, clutching his junk like a pussy—and kick him lightly in the back. “Get up, motherfucker.”

He staggers to his feet, his face wracked with pain. I didn’t think little Summer Savage had it in her, but she took Elliot down, and that is no easy feat. He’s my friend. Loyal to the end, but he’s also a giant prick with a big fucking mouth.

Meaning he’s weak. And I can’t have weak people in my circle.

He’s on his way out.

“That little bitch kicked me in the balls,” Elliot mutters incredulously, shaking his head before he spits on the ground.

“Don’t call her that,” I say, my voice purposely even. I’m this close to unleashing all over him.

“Call her what? A bitch? That’s what she is. Didn’t even hesitate either. Just kneed me right in the nut sack. Hurt like a motherfucker.”

“You deserved it.” I take a step closer. See the sweat dotting his forehead. She did a number on him. “You said something to her.”

He frowns, trying to remember. “What? I said lots of things to her.”

“Something you had no business saying.”

Fear flickers in his gaze and then it’s gone, replaced by irritation. “What, that you fucked her? We all know you want to—”

I grip him by the throat with both hands, my fingers pressing tightly. I can feel the fragile bones beneath my palms give slightly and I realize it would be so easy to end this guy. He scratches at my hands with his fingers, struggling so hard and wasting much needed energy. Idiot. “You told her I said we were fucking. We’re not…yet.”

He stares at me, his eyes bulging, and I realize he can’t speak. This gives me so much satisfaction, I can’t help but grin. “Don’t ever speak to Summer Savage again, do you hear me? If I see you so much as look in her direction, I’ll slice your balls off and feed them to you.”

Elliot nods as best he can, which is difficult considering I’m squeezing the life out of him with my bare hands. His face is red, sweat covers his skin and I release him before it drips onto my fingers.

Disgusting.

He expels a large, gasping breath, bending over and resting his hands on his knees as he coughs, so deep his lungs rattle. I watch him with disdain, my lips forming into a sneer I couldn’t rid myself of even if I tried.

I hate weak people. I’ve known Elliot a long time, but when a pretty little whore who buys her way onto this campus can befell him with one slender knee, I know he won’t remain my friend for much longer.

She’s stronger than him, that much is clear.

“She’s not a bitch,” I tell him as he heaves, his body bent so he can’t look at me. He probably doesn’t want to either. The coward. “You’re the little bitch who can’t handle her.”

I walk away from him without a backward glance, heading toward the chapel. No one is in there this time of day, and I need some solace.

Some peace.

My thoughts are riotous. Filled with Summer. What else is new? I hate that she’s all I think about. I’m a man obsessed. One would think I’d get used to the feeling, considering I’ve been obsessed with her since I was fourteen. Yet my thoughts of her haven’t waned over the years whatsoever. She’s always been there, lingering in the back of my mind, haunting me at the strangest times, or when I least expect it.

Seeing her in American Government the first day of school, witnessing her trip and fall directly in front of my desk, shocked the shit out of me. No one prepared me for her arrival. Not even my hacker little sister Sylvie, and that wench knows everything that happens on this campus. Did I go to her and call her out over it?

No.

Weakness, I refuse to show it.

Once I realized Summer was going to pretend I didn’t exist, I turned everyone against her. Yet no one broke her. She strode across campus, down the halls, into the dining hall, the library, the gardens, as if she owned this place. Her head held high, her nose in the air like a queen. Above it all.

Well, I eventually took her down.

She downplays her beauty, which I don’t understand. Every other girl tries her damnedest to make herself look unique. Hair, makeup, nails, jewelry, it’s always flashy. I get why. The uniform is limiting, and they want to stand out.

Summer does nothing to accentuate what she has, yet she stands out—at least to me. No makeup. Her glossy brown hair pulled into a simple ponytail, those long, wavy strands streaming down her back. Makes me want to grab it in my fist and tug. Her skin pale, her cheeks pink, her mouth…

Her mouth is the stuff of fantasies. Full, bitable lips, especially the bottom one. I’d love to sink my teeth into her flesh and tug. Witness those lips wrapped tightly around my cock.

That’s what I want more than anything. To witness little Summer Savage kneeling before me, working my dick with her perfect lips, letting me come all over her luscious tits. Her face. She’s almost eighteen and jaded as fuck. I’m sure she’s given plenty of blow jobs. What’s a couple more with me? I would’ve called off the sheep and her torment would’ve been over.

Easy as that.

Yet she refused me, and no one refuses me. I saw the way her pupils dilated when I offered to finger her at that very moment, yet she still turned me down. I’d been so angry when she mentioned not all Lancasters hated her; I’d become positively enraged.

And called her a whore loud enough for everyone to hear.

It’s what she deserved. How else could I break her? I asked people to apply even more pressure. Get mean, I told them. Play dirty. Hunt her.

Hurt her.

Fuck her and her pious behavior. She believes she’s above it all, when no one is. They all bow to me.

Eventually, she will too.

 

 

Seven

 

 

Summer

 

 

I skipped American Government.

I couldn’t stand the thought of facing Whit after our conversation in the library. I hate that he’s tainted my safe space. The one building I haven’t found him in yet. He’s ruined it. I have nowhere else to go to escape him.

He took the library away from me with just his presence.

I retreated to my dorm room and ate my late lunch. Instead of saving half the sandwich for later, I downed it all. Including the chips, and the Coke. It was like I was starving after that interaction with Whit, with Elliot, all of it. The fight with the girls in line. Listening to Matthews drone on, the word cunt falling from his lips so easily—twice—had taken its toll. Even the bitchy cashier in the lunch line almost sent me into an emotional breakdown.

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