So I leave the topic alone. Sylvie’s a big girl. I’ve come to terms with the idea of her and Spencer together. But if that asshole breaks her heart?
I’ll fucking destroy him and he knows it.
“She’s here,” I say drolly as I glance around, trying to spot her blonde head. “Not sure where though. She’s probably with Summer.”
“Savage?” He sends me a questioning look and I nod. “What the fuck is she doing here?”
“Sylvie brought Savage with her for Thanksgiving as her playdate,” I answer.
“More like your playdate. Or plaything,” Spencer says with a chuckle. It fades when I send him a dirty look. “What? It’s true. We all know you’re fucking her.”
“I am,” I admit, shocked that I said it out loud. “But it’s nobody’s business but ours.”
“I don’t care what you do with her. I’m not interested so have at it,” Spence says.
“You better not be interested,” I say, my threat only mild. “You saw what happened to Bryan.”
“Right, and Elliot. He was a part of our friend group, man,” Spence says. “He was about as close as he could get to you.”
“He was a dickbag who jumped my ass,” I remind Spence, who’s smart enough to shut the fuck up. “Don’t defend him.”
“Hope that pussy is worth it.” Spence shakes his head. “I need a drink. See ya later?”
“Sure.” I watch him go, not caring that he left. My head is too full of thoughts of Summer, and what I’ve done for her. What she’s done for me. What I still have on her.
Like that stupid fucking journal I don’t give a rat’s ass about anymore. I should give it back to her. What if it falls into the wrong hands? From what I’ve seen, her biggest secret is the relationship between her and Yates.
Which is all sorts of fucked, but I can’t judge her for it. I’ve done some messed up things in my life, just as she has.
Maybe that’s why we’re so—perfect together. Because we are. I can admit this. I’m all sorts of fucked up and so is she. I’m mean to her and the girl likes it. She gets off on it. I call her a whore and she takes it as a compliment.
But she’s my whore. No one else’s.
I make my way around the cavernous room, stopping to talk to people I know, vaguely or otherwise. Girls smile and flirt but I keep moving. I’m not interested, my thoughts consumed with only one female who’s here tonight.
Where the hell is she anyway?
I search the lower level of the house, where the party is. There are people spilling out of every single room. Lingering in the corridor that leads to the private wing. So much laughter and food and drink. I feel like I’m standing alone among the partygoers. An observer who can’t participate.
My head is everywhere but here. I think of the earlier conversation between my father and me. It’s not like I want to stay with Summer forever—hell, I don’t know what I want—but being with her has made me realize that I don’t want to end up like my parents either. Bored and unhappy, and in search of something else with someone else. Fuck that.
I’m just never getting married.
“Whittaker!” the hostess says when she spots me, pulling away from a group of women to come over to me, a big smile on her pretty face. “I didn’t expect you to show up.”
“You’re having the hottest party over break,” I tell her as she wraps me up in a quick hug. “Why wouldn’t I be here?”
“I should’ve known.” Leighton steps back to take me in. “I saw your sister a few minutes ago. She’s looking…thin.”
“She’s had some health issues.” I’m vague because it’s none of Leighton’s business and besides, Sylvie’s issues are vague. I don’t understand what’s going on with her, and Sylvie doesn’t talk about it much beyond telling me she’s going to die.
“She told me she’s staring at her last days, and I quote.” Leighton appears amused. I’m sure she doesn’t believe Sylvie.
I don’t really either, though I suppose I should. But she’s always been fascinated with death, ever since she was a little kid. Lately she’s been saying she’s going to live fast and die young.
Couldn’t we all claim that? Every single person in this fucking estate is living fast and could die young.
“Don’t listen to her,” I say dismissively, not wanting to talk about my sister. “How are you?”
“I’m great. Harvard has been…amazing.” She smiles. Her daddy donated a quarter of a million dollars to the famed institution so, of course, she got in. “Where did you apply?”
“A few colleges,” I say and leave it at that. I’m not wanting to discuss my choices because I don’t want to jinx myself. What if I don’t get in?
What the hell am I saying? I will get in wherever I want to go. I’m a fucking Lancaster. And if my grades aren’t good enough, then I’ll buy my way in.
“A few colleges,” she says lightly, mimicking me. “Whatever, Whit. I’m sure you’ll end up at Harvard. With me.”
“Who says I want to go to Harvard?” I’d prefer to go to a college somewhere on the west coast. Stanford is my first college of choice, with USC a close second.
“We could be the golden couple on campus.” She takes a step closer, rubbing her body against mine. “We always did go well together.”
What the hell is she talking about? We flirted for a year and fucked once. She was too much effort for very little payback. No thanks.
Glancing around to make sure no one sees us, I settle my hand on the small of her back and lean in to whisper, “I already have someone.”
Leighton laughs, the sound tinkling and light. Like I’m a big ol’ jokester. “If you’re referring to Leticia, please. That girl will sit and wait for you in the wings for years. Her parents are dying for you to marry her. She’ll do whatever it takes to make them happy.”
“Do you actually know Leticia?” I ask, raising a brow.
Her smile is sly. “Darling, Leticia is here. Coked up in my bathroom upstairs.”
I’m fucking floored. “Leticia does coke?”
Leighton laughs. “She does more than coke, if you want me to be honest. But you’d think you’d already know, considering she’s your future bride.”
“Not any longer,” I admit, hating that I said it the moment the words leave me.
Leighton has a big mouth. She’ll tell everyone.
“Oh really? And does Leticia know this?”
“No, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell her.” I give her back a rub before I drop my hand. “Be a friend, would you?”
“A friend? I would never call us that, Whit. Lovers? Briefly, yes. But friends? No.” She steps in closer. “I can keep a secret though. If you want to sneak off and…catch up.”
I’m not even tempted. The last thing I want to do is find myself caught up in Leighton’s web. The girl is gorgeous, but toxic.
“Gonna have to pass,” I tell her.
“Oops. Not sure if I can keep your secret then.” She gives me the doe-eyed look, her glossy lips formed in a pout. “Might have to go check on Leticia right now. I’m sure she’ll need consoling, since her future has been suddenly snatched away from her.”