I started a pot of coffee then I wrapped up the banana bread in foil and placed it in a paper bag I had from the shop. Only twice did I glance out the window while doing this. Both times Saul had been sitting in the swing looking toward main street. I was glad he hadn’t lit a cigarette while on Gran’s porch. I didn’t want the smell of cigarette smoke on her patio furniture.
Once the coffee was done, I poured it into a thermos and then put two napkins in the paper bag before picking it up and heading for the door. I hadn’t tasted the bread, but I was sure it was good. The uneven way it had risen was why I hadn’t taken it to Hillya. I wanted it to look appealing not warped when she put it in the bakery display case.
Saul shifted his gaze to me when I stepped outside and then stood up as I held out the bag and thermos to him. “Here you go,” I said, not moving in his direction. He needed to walk to me to get it then he could keep walking until he was in his truck.
The amused grin on his face said he knew exactly what I was doing. He stopped in front of me and took the bag and thermos. “Thanks,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” I replied, wishing I had said nothing at all.
“Sorry I woke you,” he then said.
He was still damp with sweat and I felt a pang of guilt at having acted the way I did. He’d been mowing the lawn. He was right; I wasn’t going to mow the lawn. For starters, I didn’t know how to mow a lawn or how to start the lawn mower up and did it use gas? I should be thanking him. My pride wouldn’t allow that though.
“I’ll be back later today to finish up,” he said then turned and left with the bag and thermos.
As he walked away, I could hear Gran’s voice in my head saying, “It don’t fix a thing if you treat others the way they treat you, Henley. Only kindness can fix bullshit.”
I went back inside and closed the door before replying to the voice in my head.
“Some bullshit is better left alone, Gran.”
Eleven
It was time I did the next item on the list. I wouldn’t get another chance until next Sunday. Besides, Saul would be back and I didn’t want to be here for that. That being the case, it also meant Saul would not be at the Hendrix working and if I stopped by to visit Lily then there would be no chance I would run into him.
The photo album filled with trips Gran had taken with a group of ladies called the Southern Mamas was in my back seat and after I finished visiting Lily, I was to take it to a woman named Wanda. I assumed Wanda was one of the Southern Mamas and Gran wanted her to have the photos. It seemed like an easy enough request.
Getting the visit with Lily done first would ease my guilt of not stopping by sooner, so I chose to get that done. The elevator and hallway leading to her door was as impressive as it had been on my last visit. How my gran had become friends with this lady still baffled me. She was definitely not one of the Southern Mamas. I could not imagine this woman on a bus traveling cross country with women twenty plus years older than her, singing church hymns to pass the time.
I rang the doorbell and waited. At least two minutes passed and I decided to try one more time. After another minute passed, I was ready to leave when the door opened.
“Fuck,” Saul cursed when he saw me standing there. “You’re not her.” He then left the door standing open and turned to walk away, leaving me there.
First of all, I should have been the one cursing. Secondly, what the heck was he doing here? I had come here to avoid him, yet here he was once again. I wasn’t sure if I should leave or wait to see if Lily was here. I didn’t have much more time to figure it out when he stopped and looked at me.
“Do you have a phone on you?” he asked me.
I nodded.
He walked back to me and held out his hand. “Let me see it,” he demanded.
I wouldn’t normally hand over my cell phone, especially to someone demanding I hand it over, but there was a panicked look in his eyes that had me reaching into my pocket, unlocking it and handing it over to him without question.
He dialed a number then put it to his ear while walking away from me again.
“Where are you?”
“Fuck that, Mom! Tell me where you are. I found the empty vodka bottles hidden in the closet.”
“Mom, listen to me. Tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.”
“Okay.”
He hung up the phone and turned back to me. “Thanks,” he said and held the phone back out to me. I walked toward him and took it while so many thoughts were going through my head at one time.
The only thing I could manage to say was “Who is your mom?” Although I was pretty sure I had that one figured out.
He sighed and looked around the room as if he were looking for something. “Lily,” he said then his gaze came back to me. “I gotta go,” he then added. “You need to go too. Today’s not a good day to visit her. Probably need to wait a couple weeks before you try again.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked although I had an idea since I heard him say something about empty vodka bottles in the closet.
“I have to go get her. It’ll be tomorrow before I’m back to finish the lawn,” he said and started walking toward the door.
I followed behind him as I put pieces together the best that I could. “Do you need help?” I asked and he stopped at the door.
He didn’t turn around. “Not from you,” he replied and then walked out into the hallway, leaving me to close the door.
His response stung but getting angry at him for, once again, being rude seemed wrong right now. Lily wasn’t okay and he seemed to expect that. If Lily was an alcoholic and her son had to take care of her, my gran being friends with this woman seemed even more unrealistic than when I thought she was just some rich woman living in a penthouse.
“You had to use my phone for a reason,” I said as the elevator door opened and I followed him inside.
He said nothing.
“She wasn’t answering your calls,” I continued. I wasn’t sure this was the case. Maybe his phone was dead. I was guessing here.
He remained silent and kept his gaze fixed on the now closed elevator doors.
“She may be easier to handle if I am there,” I said. I wasn’t sure of this, but she seemed very fond of my gran and I was thinking like a woman here.
His shoulders rose and fell with another heavy sigh. He hung his head forward and for a moment, he didn’t look like the guy from a coastal vacation commercial. He looked like a guy with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Okay, you’re right.” When he lifted his head, he finally looked at me. There was no gleam in his eyes or smile on his lips. Only fear and weariness. My chest ached and emotion began to stir inside me. This wasn’t new for him and I didn’t know how long he had lived this over and over again. From the look on his face though, I would guess more times than he could count.