“She’s a mix, but she’s definitely part corgi.”
“Oh, I love corgis. Do you have a picture?”
“Yeah, on my phone.”
“I love dogs.” She scoots closer as I pull out my phone and unlock it. “Oh my god! That’s her?”
“Yeah.” I swipe and show her a few more.
“She’s adorable! Where does the name Cheddar come from?”
“Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You haven’t watched that show?”
“No.”
“Wow. There is so much I don’t know about you.”
She grins.
I stand and shove my phone back in my pocket. She rises too and follows me to the door. Fuck. I don’t want to leave. “Good luck with your interview.”
“It’s not until Thursday.” Her gaze moves over my face. “Will… I see you before then?”
I swallow. This is the part I’ve been dreading. The stuff I haven’t wanted to think about. “Romy…”
She squeezes her eyes closed briefly as if bracing herself. “Yes?”
“I told you I don’t do relationships.”
She purses her lips. “I remember.” Then she tilts her head. “Why?”
I blink. Why? I mean, it’s obvious to me. But to tell her that I don’t deserve love or happiness, that I’m terrified of losing people I love… I swallow. “I always mess things up.”
“Hmm.”
What does that mean? “It’s not you,” I add. “It’s me.”
She laughs.
I frown.
“But what if it is me?” she asks.
I lift my eyebrows.
“I’m not good at relationships either,” she admits. “I’ve always been hesitant to be myself with people. And that’s not conducive to a close relationship.” She wrinkles her nose and hitches her shoulders diffidently. “So neither of us are good at them. Let’s just… be friends.”
Friends. “Does that mean no more sex?”
She bites back a smile. “Do you want more sex?”
“Jesus, do you have to ask?” I reach for her and pull her into my arms. I rest my face on top of her head. “I told you… I can’t get enough of you.”
“Okay then.”
“I just don’t want Joe and Cassie freaking out or—Christ—Felise. Can you imagine?” I roll my eyes.
She pulls back to gaze up at me. “Yeah.” Her face softens. “I get it.”
“How about dinner next week one evening?”
Her eyes warm. “That would be nice.”
“Okay.” I pull her in again and kiss her until we’re both hot and panting and her arms are curled around my neck to hold herself up. “Bye.”
“Bye, Trace.” Her eyes are hazy, her lips wet and curved into a gentle smile.
I drag myself away from her. I don’t even have my truck here, so I have to Uber it over to Garrett’s place. That gives me time to think about the huge fucking problem I just created for myself.
I arrive at Garrett’s place to find him and Julie in the kitchen, making dinner. I texted earlier to let Garrett know I’d be picking Cheddar up later.
Cheddar greets me with ecstatic leaps and licks. “Hey, girl, calm down. I’m here.” I let her jump into my arms, let her swipe her tongue all over my face, and give her rubs. “What’s that?” I cock my head. “They tortured you? They didn’t feed you?”
Garrett scoffs. “Yeah, right.”
I grin and set Cheddar down. “Thanks for looking after her.”
“No problem.”
“We love her,” Julie says. “Any time.”
“Want a beer?” Garrett offers.
“Uh… I should get home. Oh, what the hell. Okay.”
A cold beer appears in my hand, and he picks up the bottle he’s drinking. “Come outside.”
We step out onto the deck, and I stroll over to the rail and lean on it.
“How was the wedding?”
“Good. The usual.”
“How was your date?” Garrett smirks.
“Okay, you obviously figured out why I’m late.”
“You spent the night with her.”
“Yeah.” I sigh and shove a hand into my hair. “What the fuck have I done? What if Joe and Cassie find out?”
“It’s kind of none of their business. You two are both adults.”
I let out a gust of air. “Yeah, I know, but… she’s Joe’s daughter.”
“Adult daughter. I’m sure it was consensual.”
“Fuck, yeah.” I frown.
“So what’s the deal? You serious about her?”
“I can’t be.”
“Because she’s Joe’s daughter.”
I stare across Garrett’s small yard. “That’s part of it.”
“I know you’ve never forgiven yourself for what happened,” Garrett says in a low voice. “Maybe it’s time.”
I narrow my eyes.
“Are you still trying to find a way to bring them back?” Garrett asks.
“Nah. I gave up on that a long time ago.”
“Bullshit. You say you did… but you’re still hoping.”
I sigh. “I might have done more research.”
“You need to get on with your life.”
“I am!”
“Again, I call bullshit. It’s obvious why you jump from one woman to another. You’re afraid.”
My chest tightens. I tip my beer to my lips. He’s right. But admitting to your best buddy you’re fucking terrified of something isn’t that easy. “I’m not afraid.”
“Okay. Then what’s the problem?”
“You’re pissing me off.”
“I know.” He smirks. “It’s what I’m here for.”
“I don’t want Romy to get hurt. I’ll fuck things up somehow, and she’ll be hurt and Joe and Cassie will hate my guts and…”
Garrett nods. “And…?”
And I’ll lose the only family I have… again.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think they could ever hate your guts. If they could, they would have when you were a twat of a teenager.”
“Ouch.”
“You know it’s true.”
“Yeah.”
“So I think you’re afraid of more than that.”
My abs contract. “Like what?” I’m losing patience with this shit.
“You’re afraid of falling for someone. Because she could be taken away.”
“I’m not falling for her.”
“Uh-huh. Fine. So what are you going to do? Pretend it never happened?”
“I’m taking her out for dinner next week.”
He laughs.
Even I hear how preposterous I sound. “Don’t worry, we’re friends. We agreed.”
“Well, as long as you’re honest with her.”
“I am.”
“Are you? Have you told her everything?”
My jaw tightens.
“I’m just saying, that’s how you hurt a woman. Cheat. Lie. Hide things. Don’t do those things.”