I froze on the threshold. The plates I held trembled as fear skated down my back.
He’s untied himself.
Shit.
That shouldn’t have happened unless he was awake long enough to work the rope.
Which means...
Either he’d remembered who he was, or he’d lost himself completely to his nightmares. Either way, I was probably in trouble.
Looking over my shoulder, I debated backtracking to the kitchen. Of tiptoeing from the house and going for help now that he showed enough improvement to survive alone. But then I looked back at him. Truly looked, and my heart panged.
His shoulders rolled in the shadows, hands balled at his sides. His broken arm still bandaged with the splint. His entire aura spoke of someone who’d woken in a world he didn’t understand. Who needed a guide or at the very least...a friend.
But beneath that aura was another and another. Layers upon layers, twisting up a man who could snap at any moment.
Make a decision, Gem.
Leave or take a chance.
Each one came with consequences.
My idiotic heart couldn’t decide, but my feet chose for me. I backed up a step, taking the safe way, only to stiffen as he murmured, “I know you’re there.”
I swallowed hard, trying to read his voice—to guess which Kas I would be dealing with tonight.
Slowly, he turned from the window and faced me. His gaze pierced through the dark, trapping me in place. His stare still held power and chemistry, pebbling my nipples and increasing my heartbeat with equal parts connection and concern. “Don’t leave when you just got here.”
“I, eh—I brought dinner.” I raised the plates higher, showing off the rapidly cooling eggplant. Nervousness made me chatty. “Are you hungry? I know I am. I cooked some veggies. I felt like something warm. That’s probably why the lights went out. I used the oven and—”
“Don’t be nervous. You cooked for me. That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done.”
I clamped my mouth closed, cursing myself for not leaving. This version of Kas already played with my mind. I liked this one. This one was genuine and watched me as if he’d been in love with me his entire life.
“Come here.” He held out his unbroken arm. “I want to thank you.”
I didn’t budge.
Our eyes locked and a familiar tug of war began. Somehow, his body summoned mine, but as usual, my mind was stronger. I stayed where I was, clutching my plates like a double-handed sword.
“Fine.” Biting his bottom lip, he swayed forward and crossed the room. “I’ll come to you.” His steps were laborious, aches and pains obvious from his tumble down the cliff. He moved as if he was ancient but also...youthful. Wary as well as welcoming. Jaded as well as eager.
All instincts told me to back the hell away.
To run.
But I stood like a stupid statue as he bypassed his bed on the carpet, closed the distance between us, and took the two plates from my shaking hands. “Thank you.”
His voice wasn’t one I’d heard before. Not the violent slice of the man who’d tried multiple times to strangle me. Not the heavy emptiness of a man begging for pain to prevent others from being touched. And not the beautiful timbre of an innocent asking me out on a date.
This was more.
Deeper, richer, sultry, and sweet.
“You’ve always taken such good care of me,” he whispered as he placed the food on the side table, careful to protect the meal but also discarding it for the moment. “I wouldn’t have been able to survive here without you.”
I sucked in a breath, my mind finally catching up to this new Kas.
Regardless that I hadn’t met this version yet, he felt like someone I could relax with. He glowed with kindness, trust, and affection. He made my heart do stupid things.
Stepping back toward me, he went to capture my hand with his. My body hummed for his touch, but instinct was still in control.
I’d been strangled by him one too many times.
I backed up.
He flinched as if I’d taken a dagger to his soul. “I would never hurt you. Ever. I’d rather cut out my own heart.”
I pressed my lips together, forcing myself not to speak. Not to deny that sentence. Not to risk him waking to a different personality or switching into a man I couldn’t defeat.
“You’re scared,” he breathed. “I’m so sorry you’re scared.”
I didn’t breathe or blink as he came even closer. His broken arm came up, along with his other, poised in place as if I was the damaged one—the one with triggers and torments.
“I’ll always take care of you, Quell. Just like you take care of me.”
I didn’t have a chance to deny I wasn’t one of his adopted siblings as his arms went around me. His chin went on top of my head, his body slipped flush with mine.
And in that moment of connection, something happened.
Something out of our control.
It was like coming home.
Returning to a place that I’d been searching for, time and time again, never to find. A familiar and unfamiliar acceptance, belonging, and indescribable peace.
Peace?
In his arms?
You’ve gone mad.
Two weeks in this valley and I was as messed up as him.
“Christ, I’ve missed you.” His arms banded tighter, trying to meld our bodies into one. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
His hug tightened even more, aggressive with desperation to hold me. His body enveloped mine as if I’d always belonged to him.
We fit together perfectly.
I struggled to stay stiff in his embrace.
I’d never had such a visceral reaction to a hug.
A hug that started off soft and innocently platonic but quickly deepened into need.
He trembled as he hugged me harder, burying his nose into my hair and heating my skin with his breath. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop them. I tried. I wish I could have borne it all for you. For all of you.”
Tears came to my eyes.
I wasn’t hurt that he thought I was someone else. I wasn’t jealous or envious of this girl called Quell. I was grateful. Wonderfully thankful that buried beneath all his trauma, there was still a good person inside him. A person who treated others with gentleness.
Who cared.
A few of his prior episodes, I’d gone along with his begs and threats, giving him the lines his mind needed to believe in a fantasy. But this time, I didn’t think I could pretend to be Quell.
I couldn’t hug him as her. I might not be jealous of a girl he’d been tortured with, but I was tired and exhausted and every other word that described crippling weariness. I just wanted to eat, sleep, and figure out how to help both of us.
And that doesn’t include falling in love with a fractured man.
His arms loosened around me, pulling away so he could see my face.
I winced as he looked at me. Fear creeping back that any moment the gentleness between us would evaporate.
“Wait...” His dark eyes absorbed the night, becoming blacker and depthless. He did a double take, shaking his head as if the overlay of his dreams flickered, deleting Quell and delivering me.
My palm itched to get my knife. To protect myself.
But in a breath, his hands swooped to my cheeks, his thumbs grazing over my cheekbones as he stared harder into me. “You...”