“Enough!” he roared, pushing me away and raking a hand through his hair. His face lost a little color, his eyes etched with pain. He wasn’t lying about his current health. I could strike and kill him easily if I was cold-hearted enough to take his life.
Do it!
Run!
I shifted on the spot, highly aware of the weight of the blade and the queasiness in my stomach.
“Finally decided to do it, huh?” He chuckled blackly. “I admit my weakness, and you light up as if I’ve just given you the key.”
My eyes locked with his. “Do you blame me?”
For a second, he didn’t move, then he shocked me with a half-smile, weary and not at all what I expected. “No, I don’t blame you.” He swallowed and fiddled with his homemade cast. “It’s what I would do.”
Funny how quickly things could change. Incredible how a single look, a simple word, could undermine seven days of vows, violence, and vengeance.
I’d envisioned another fight. I’d barely slept and hidden out as if we were enemies on different sides of a war. I’d prepared to be cruel. To match his nastiness if I stood any chance at being strong enough to get home.
But...all of that tension, that waiting, that plotting, it wasn’t me. It was too much effort. It hurt. It truly hurt, and I didn’t know how to deal with that.
“The power isn’t lasting at night,” he murmured, the topic switch leaving me floundering. Even talking about mundane things, his allure, his presence, all dripped with sexuality. “I’m guessing you’ve noticed.”
Unable to see where he was going with this, I nodded slightly. I’d found it annoying at the beginning. Wary of him stalking me in the dark, I suspected he’d shut the lights off as another mind game or version of control.
“It’s not supposed to.” He licked his lips, drawing my attention to his mouth. “I think the hydro power has been damaged. Possibly by the storm the night you ran away.” His eyes burned with memories, transmitting every touch and thrust we’d shared while coated in rain and mud.
The hesitant hum of awareness between us suddenly billowed into outright heat.
My breasts tingled. My tummy clenched. My hate for this man didn’t stand a chance against my desire.
Stop it!
I cleared my throat and dropped my eyes to the knife in my hands.
He’s your enemy, Gem.
“The backup power comes from solar. The panels are old, and even though I do my best to maintain them, their output isn’t enough to run the fridge, oven, and lights for a full day. The batteries are old and past their prime. That’s why we’re having blackouts.”
I kept looking down, not sure why he was sharing such things but unwilling to interrupt his soft voice. It was the kindest he’d ever spoken to me. Simple topics of life in his valley that somehow made my heart kick and belly flip in his presence.
It did more than just make me lust, it made me question what his existence had been like after.
After the abuse.
After the masters.
After...when he was all alone.
“I haven’t stocked up on firewood yet, which is another task I should’ve started by now. Come winter, whatever electricity we do have will be used for other essentials. Heat will have to come from fire.” He came toward me, tipping my chin up with his finger.
Electricity sizzled from his skin to mine.
I shivered.
His jaw clenched.
The air positively came alive around us.
“I’ve made a list of all the things...” His finger traced up my jaw. With a hitched breath, his hand cupped my cheek, his concentration spilling into need. “Goddammit, why is it easier to want to be your friend instead of your enemy?”
The world stopped spinning.
I ceased existing.
His fingers sent hotter electricity into my blood. My knees wobbled. My lips wanted. All of me wanted.
Hate.
Remember?
He flinched as if I was the one causing him pain, hushed words tripping from his lips. “I...I’ve missed you.”
I couldn’t breathe as his eyes switched from facts to need. He hadn’t brushed his hair, leaving it dancing over his shoulders like the wild beast he was. His lips parted as his stare dropped to my mouth. He smelled fresh and forestry, and why, why, why couldn’t I stab him and run away?
I didn’t feel right. I felt twisted and tangled and—
“Don’t...” I whispered, swaying backward.
His hand slinked to my nape, pulling me forward until our foreheads touched. “Gem...”
My legs almost gave out.
Gem.
The first time he’d said my name without rancor or venom. My true name. The three little letters that summed me up as a girl, climber, sister, entrepreneur, and someone who was so utterly lost by all of this she was fragile beneath her ferocity and so, so scared beneath her cape of threats.
“I didn’t think I’d last seven days before I came to you.” His fingers massaged the back of my head, tugging on my hair, sending pinwheels of fire down my spine. “It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“Stop.” I needed distance between us. I needed to breathe.
My hand came up, knife and all, and pressed against his chest.
He swallowed a groan, nudging his nose to mine. “I’ve been achingly hard for you. I’m in fucking agony with wanting you.” He stepped into me, pressing our bodies together, revealing his wasn’t lying. “I know you’ve figured out I can’t touch myself, so imagine my pain when I know you’re in this house. When I know how perfect you feel. When I know just how incredible it is between us.”
Had I figured out he couldn’t touch himself?
When I’d jerked him off in the bathroom, he’d acted as if his cock was contaminated. When I blew him, he broke apart as if I’d given him the greatest gift.
My insides tightened with need. Dark whispers tried to convince me to set aside our war and just be. To be selfish and reckless and give into the unbearable, unexplainable, unsurvivable need between us.
You’re his prisoner, Gem.
Blinking back heavy heat, I struggled against him and myself. “That...that was before you shackled me.”
“Only because you did the same to me.” His lips grazed mine before I shoved hard and put distance between us. In one heartbeat, the games room switched from strained togetherness to outright desperation.
His face went black.
His body tensed to punish me, to prove I couldn’t deny him.
Sucking in a shaky breath, his balance swayed, all while his eyes glowed with hunger. For the longest moment, he wobbled on two things. I visibly saw them in his face. His desire for me almost pushed him into doing something that would only make me hate him further. If he took me now, he would push me into a darkness I didn’t even want to acknowledge. A darkness I wouldn’t swim out of. A darkness that sang to me even now, that lived in my blood and turned greedy for bad things.
But if I gave into him. If he gave into himself. If we gave into the madness binding us together, then...I’ll be broken, just like him.
“Christ.” He groaned under his breath, his nostrils flaring as he called upon whatever self-control he had and swallowed the scorching hunger in his stare.
The air between us suffocated with discarded pleasure and denied connection.