She makes a face. “How is that possible?”
“Baby, I wasn’t there for a relationship. When we were done, it was over and time to go.” I lift my hand from my leg. “I take that back. There was one girl I slept with, but that was over a decade ago. No one since.”
Her mouth opens as she blinks at me, confused. “For real?”
“No lie.”
“But we cuddled last night.”
“Another thing you have me doing that I’ve never done before. I had never cuddled with anyone, especially someone I haven’t fu…slept with.”
“That’s crazy. Cuddling is fantastic.”
“Well, so are orgasms.” I smile.
She doesn’t return my smile. “There’s more to life than sex.”
I touch my chest, pretending to be shocked. “Obviously, you haven’t had one that rocks you to your core.”
“Well…” She clears her throat, shifting her body weight. “Obviously, you haven’t had the right cuddle partner.”
“I did last night,” I tell her.
Her cheeks instantly turn pink, and she glances down. “But then you ran out of here like your ass was on fire and didn’t bother to contact me all day. I figured I did something wrong.”
I brush my fingers over her shoulder, and she doesn’t move away from my touch. “That was about me, not you, Arlo. I was so comfortable with you, I fell asleep, and when I woke up…I freaked out and ran.”
“Like a pussy,” she mutters.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She smiles, but it’s a devilish look.
“It’s like if you woke up naked after sleeping with a man you didn’t know. You’d run, wouldn’t you?”
Her brows furrow again. “You are not comparing sex to snuggling, are you?”
“To you, sex is…”
“It’s emotional and opens me to a vulnerability I’m not ready to show.”
“That’s how I feel about cuddling and sleeping. I did it once eleven years ago, and it ended in tragedy. After that day, I told myself I’d never do it again, along with never getting involved in a relationship. I wouldn’t allow myself to be left open like that.”
She rests her shoulder against the couch cushion, moving her body closer to my hand. “What happened eleven years ago that made you change your life entirely?”
“There was a girl, Carrie. She was twenty, and we were in college. She was beautiful, funny, and so full of life. I was crazy about her.” I keep my eyes on Arlo as I talk, trying to get the words out no matter how painful the memories are. “We got into a car accident, and she died. I was a mess for years. It took therapy and a lot of self-care before I could forgive myself. But I knew I never wanted to experience that pain again. To do that, I couldn’t and wouldn’t allow myself to have any possibility of falling in love.”
She lifts her arm, placing her hand on my bicep. “I’m sorry, Mello.”
“Thanks, babe. It was a long time ago. But sometimes, I can still hear her laughter, and I know I’m the reason no one else will ever hear it again.”
“It was an accident, sweetie,” she says, giving me a sad smile.
“I know, but since I was driving, I’ll always question what I could’ve done differently to keep her alive.”
“That’ll only lead to sadness.”
“I know that too. Headed down that path for a long time, finding nothing at the end but a heaviness I couldn’t shake.”
Her fingers tighten on my muscle. “You don’t seem to be on that path anymore, though. You seem really happy.”
“I never stay still for long, Arlo. Stillness has always led me astray.”
“But you asked Lily to help you settle down, didn’t you? When she told me about it, I volunteered to help. In all honesty, I wanted to see you again.” She pauses, and we stare at each other for a second before she continues. “It’s the least I could do to pay you back, and the tattoo was a bonus.”
“I thought you came for my mad ink skills.” I dip my eyes to her ribs and my mark before going back to her face. “It is a work of beauty, just like the girl wearing it.”
“Does that shit work on people?” she asks with a smile.
“Usually.”
She laughs. “Women are too easy.”
“That they are.”
“And about us?”
“I’m thirty-one now and getting older. At first, it was a game to placate my cousin, but now…”
“Now what?”
I shrug. “I’m so fucking drawn to you, I think I’m going crazy.”
“I’m just the new girl and unconquered.”
“That’s not true. It’s something else. Something I can’t explain.”
“It’ll wear off.”
“A woman like you doesn’t wear off, Arlo.”
“We do…very easily, I can assure you.” She sighs, but there’s a pain behind the harshness of her exhale.
“If that were true, I wouldn’t have left the bar tonight alone. In my entire life, that has never happened to me. Never. Not even when I was seeing Carrie—we had an open relationship, before you think I was cheating on her. I never cheated because I was never exclusive.”
She blinks, her lips parted. “You’ve never been exclusive? Never?”
“Never.”
“You’re so weird,” she tells me, her fingers wandering aimlessly across the ink on my upper arm.
“I always thought people who were monogamous were the weird ones.”
She laughs, and it’s a glorious sound. “And now?”
“Still fucking weird.” I shrug. “I can’t change who I was. There’s no taking back my past, Arlo, but I can change my future.”
“We’re the masters of our own destiny,” she says softly.
“That we are, sweetheart. I should go,” I tell her.
“I don’t want you to go,” she says softly, not moving her eyes away from mine.
“What do you want, Arlo?”
“You,” she whispers.
I reach up, placing my hand on her cheek. “Then kiss me,” I challenge her, sweeping my thumb across her lower lip.
She doesn’t hesitate in putting her mouth on mine. Her lips are soft, full, and absolute perfection as she leans into me and slides her arms over my shoulders. I snake my arm around her middle, pulling her closer until our bodies are pressed together and our mouths are completely fused.
Everything about this moment feels right. The weight of her in my arms, the warmth of her skin pressed against me, the taste of her lips on mine. I could lose myself in her and do it easily.
I tear my mouth away from hers, knowing how hard it’ll be for me to stop if I kiss her too long.
“Do you know how crazy you sound?”
“I do,” I mutter, tilting my face upward. “God how I do.”
“You spent a few hours talking with me, and you saw the light?”
“Tell me you don’t feel the same or tell me that this is only a friend helping a friend fix someone, and I’ll leave you alone before you have the chance to…”