“I don’t know. When you’re in that situation, you just do everything you can. Our neighbor got the girls off the bus and kept them until I got home, and when I had practice, either our neighbor would watch them, or I’d take them with me and they’d play on the sidelines. I made sure they ate and did their homework, that kind of thing. You know, I’ve never had anyone I wanted to share this with. Sin and the guys I grew up with know, but as an adult, I’ve never talked about it.”
“I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me anything else. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“No, it’s okay. I want you to know who I am beyond what you see on social media or in magazines.”
“I’m getting a pretty good picture of who you are. It sounds like you would have done anything to help your mom.”
“You’ve got that right. She’s had a tough life, and she didn’t deserve what my father did to her. My mom went into the foster system when she was eight after her mother was arrested for drug possession. Her mother spent a couple of years in prison and overdosed a few months after she got out. My mom went back into the system until she aged out. She had no other family. She’s overcome a lot. Nothing means more to her than family, and she instilled that in us.”
“Knowing that makes what your father did even more tragic. So the grandmother you told me about is your father’s mom?”
“Yes. But his parents adore my mom, and they wanted to help, but she was too proud to take their money. Of course, every time we saw my grandparents, Grandpa George would slip me a few twenties, and I’d use them when my mom would send me to the store instead of using her credit card. But she never knew.”
“At thirteen my biggest worry, besides epilepsy, was what I wanted to read on any given day. You had a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.”
“I didn’t see it like that. The person who should have taken care of us split. I was pissed at my father for leaving and for hurting everyone. Anger won out over hurt because I saw the damage his leaving caused. I guess I was partly driven by a need to show him that he didn’t break us.”
Her heart filled up and ached for him. “It sounds like his leaving really shaped who you are. That’s probably why you pushed yourself so hard and have been so successful.”
“It shaped all of us in different ways. My mom got stronger. Hawk had gotten his first camera earlier that year, and I’m convinced that as talented as he is, there’s more to his success than that. I think it’s easier to see the world through a lens than it is to face it head-on. And I told you what Damon was like.”
And how you cleaned up his messes. “How do you think it affected your sisters?”
“They were so little. That might have been the worst part of his leaving, seeing how hurt and confused they were. Dawn cried an awful lot the first few weeks, and Andi turned it all inward, she basically went silent.”
“I’m such a Daddy’s girl, I can’t imagine how sad they must have been.”
“Sad, yes, but after Dawn’s tears came anger. I did everything I could to convince her not to hate our father despite how I felt about him. I still held out hope that he’d come back for the girls’ sake.”
“That must have been difficult, given how angry you were.”
“It wasn’t easy, and trust me, I had my moments when anger won out. But it didn’t end up mattering. About a year after he left, Dawn changed. I’ll never forget when it happened. I was sitting out on the back steps with my buddy Joey, and Dawn came out the back door and stood in front of us with her little hands on her hips and said, ‘Dad’s not coming back.’ I told her I knew that and I was sorry, and she said, ‘It’s okay. It’s his loss. The idiot.’ Then she went inside to play, and from then on, she’s been the girl you see on television.”
“Wow. I guess she processed it and made up her mind.”
“She did. I’m still worried about Andi, though. She’s afraid to step away from the safety of Port Hudson, and it limits her.” His voice was thick with worry.
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to stay where she feels safe. That’s what I do.”
“Your situations are different. You’re doing what you’ve always wanted. Andi wants to be a marine biologist, and she could go far in the field, but not if she stays there.”
“It sounds to me like you’re still taking care of everyone.”
He laughed. “I think my sisters would call it annoying them, not taking care of them.”
“Maybe, but if it’s anything like how I feel about Sable watching out for me, I’m sure they appreciate it. It must have been hard to leave them when you went to college.”
“It was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I got a full ride, and I knew if I made it into the pros, my family would never have to worry about a thing.”
“And that right there is one of the things I admire most about you.”
“My money?”
“No, you goof. Your big heart. You think of everyone else before yourself. You were a kid caring for a family. And the other night, you said you were falling apart, too. Who was taking care of you, making sure you felt loved and were okay?”
“My mom and my grandparents. You had midnight walks with your dad. I had midnight chats over hot chocolate with my mom in our kitchen.”
“Aw. I love that. It makes me happy knowing you had that time with her. You know what? I think you’re right. I would have liked teenage Dash a whole lot.”
“You would have been all over me. Especially when I first hit my growth spurt and I was skinny as a rail. That was hot.”
“You were probably adorable. I bet you had tons of girlfriends.”
“Who had time for girlfriends? I think my longest high school girlfriend lasted about three weeks and involved lots of back-seat make-out sessions. How about you?”
“I’ve never had a girlfriend,” she teased.
“Hold on. I have to scratch threesome with Amber off my bucket list.”
“I’ve never even made out in a back seat, so use that information to scratch off whatever else shouldn’t be on our list.”
“What?” he exclaimed. “My girl has never been groped in the back of a horny kid’s parents’ car?”
“Nope, and I haven’t made out under the bleachers, which apparently is a thing, or at a creek party, a barn dance, or JJ’s Pub, all of which I think nearly every female in this town has done. I’ve also never stargazed with a guy, making wishes and spilling secrets. I missed all of those rites of passages, but I have kissed a boy on the Ferris wheel and in a corn maze.”
“Are you sure under the bleachers is really a thing?”
“Yes. It’s a little gross, right?”
“I’m not sure, but I know what we’re doing when I get back to town.”
She couldn’t stop smiling. “Look at you, making all my teenage dreams come true.”
“Maybe you can make one of my adult fantasies come true.”
“I’m not having a threesome with you.”
He chuckled. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, that’s not my fantasy. I have no interest in sharing you. In fact, I’m a little jealous of those Ferris wheel and corn maze kisses. Who were the lucky guys?”