She stopped walking and gazed up at him with more compassion than he probably deserved. “I’m sorry you went through that. It must have been stressful.”
“It was.” He felt the burden of his secret lifting from his shoulders. “While she was pregnant, all I could think about was what if it was my kid? Then I’d get pissed off at myself for being in that position with a woman I didn’t care about, and in the next minute I was angry at her because I was sure she was lying. Part of the reason I never told my buddies was because I knew they’d never pay someone off to keep them quiet. They’d stand proudly in front of the media and deny it. But I just kept thinking about my mom. It’s one thing to know your son is out there doing what single people do, but to have it all over rag magazines and the internet, portrayed in some kind of devious light, was a whole different ball game.”
“It sounds like you did the right thing. But you said it would sound bad to someone as careful as me. I wonder if I’ve been careful because of circumstances, or if it’s who I am.”
“Baby, I don’t know how many guys you’ve been with, and it doesn’t matter. I’m sure they meant something to you. That’s what I meant by careful. You don’t strike me as the kind of girl who’s been into meaningless hookups.”
“I see. I’ve only been intimate with a couple of guys, and while you’re right, I don’t think I’d ever be into meaningless hookups, I do wonder if I would have been with more guys if I didn’t have epilepsy. Those early seizures I told you about didn’t just shape my life. They gave me insecurities. I’m not embarrassed about having epilepsy, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it when I was with a guy. When I first had sex, I was terrified of having a seizure while we were doing it, and that fear never really went away until you came along. You’re the first person I’ve ever been intimate with and not thought about it. But when we’re together like that, I can’t hold on to a single thought.” Her voice softened. “I’ve always been curious about sex, but even in college I was never all that interested in it, which can be a side effect of epilepsy medication. But when I started researching you, every time I saw your picture, my body kicked into overdrive. Then I met you, and I think it’s pretty clear that it wasn’t my medication killing my sex drive. I just hadn’t met the right man.”
“You really were waiting for me.” He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her. “I’m sorry that you missed out on those experiences.”
“I didn’t tell you so you could feel bad for me. Everyone thinks I’m good—innocent and pure—and I’m really not. I might not flaunt my sexuality like Brindle or Sable, but with you I’m discovering how much I enjoy it.”
“I love discovering it with you, but you’re wrong about one thing. You are pure and good, because purity and goodness speak to the heart of a person, not their sexual history or their hidden desires.”
“I have a lot of desires,” she whispered.
“I suppose for you I can set aside my own prudish values and try to conquer any fantasies you might have.”
“That’s very gracious of you.”
“A gracious attention hog.” They laughed, and he slipped his arm around her and kissed her temple as they began walking again. “See, sweetheart? We were meant to be.”
She rested her head on his shoulder as they wandered along the grass. Dash had never slowed down enough to think about perfect moments or dreams of the future. But there he was, feeling like life was pretty damn perfect and having thoughts of bringing Amber home to meet his family and seeing her beautiful face light up on Christmas morning.
When they came to the edge of the woods, she pointed to a bunch of acorns scattered along the ground. “Look. It’s a sign.”
Dash picked one up. “This one is going in our acorn jar as the start of something wonderful.” He pocketed the acorn, gathering her close again.
“I love that idea.” She wound her arms around him. “We need to write down a memory to keep with it. I know what I’ll write: The best day of my life.”
“And on the other side, I’m going to write, The night I never wanted to end.”
He lowered his lips to hers. She tasted like sweet afternoons and sinful nights, and he wanted to share every one of them with her until he had to leave town.
As their lips parted, she said, “It doesn’t have to end. You could stay at my place again.”
She said it cautiously, as if he might actually turn her down, which endeared her to him even more. He loved her quiet strength and the way she was letting herself ask for what she wanted. But he had to tease her, because embarrassed Amber was excruciatingly sexy. “So, you like having a lot of man in your bed.”
He was sure she’d look away, blushing a red streak, but she didn’t even flinch, didn’t miss a beat, as she said, “And in my shower.”
Her confession stoked the fire that had been burning inside him all day, and he crushed her to him, kissing her smiling lips. “I’ll need to get clothes from Sin’s place. You know, to avoid the walk of shame and keep my reputation intact. In fact, why don’t I get all of my things? We both know I’m going to end up in your bed every night until I leave town anyway.”
Now her gaze fell to his chest, and she breathed a little harder, as if she were considering it. But when she lifted her face, she was almost smirking. “I just threw you the ball. I didn’t say you could make a touchdown.”
“You know that was my job, right? To literally catch the ball in the end zone or run it in for a touchdown.”
“Well, we’re not doing the end zone. We’re doing the middle zone.”
She was so damn cute, he had to laugh. “I’ll do whatever zone you want, but I prefer the erogenous zone.” Her cheeks bloomed red. “Sweetheart, one night with you is better than a touchdown. But if you keep spouting football metaphors, I may never leave your side.”
Relief rose in her eyes. “Do you think Sin will mind?”
“If I never leave your side? Sin can get his own girlfriend,” he teased, earning a sweet laugh. “I’ll still see him at the community center. I’m helping him out with clinics all week. He’s happy for us.” He kissed her softly. “And there’s no place I’d rather be than lying in your bed with you safe in my arms.”
Chapter Twelve
IT WAS OFFICIAL. Amber and Dash sucked at avoiding walks of shame. She’d fallen asleep with his naked body cocooning hers every night since they’d gone to JJ’s and had enjoyed four glorious mornings waking up to his heart beating against her back, his strong arms holding her like he would never let her go, and Good morning, sleepyhead or beautiful or wild thing, whispered in her ear. Dash had woken with the sun the other days, but this morning she’d been up at the break of dawn, unable to stop her mind from racing, and he was still fast asleep. She wondered what that meant. She’d noticed that he never slowed down. Had they worn him out last night? They had gotten a little wilder than usual. That thrilling thought brought a shiver of delight. She could see the headlines in gossip magazines across America—UNASSUMING BOOKSTORE OWNER WEARS OUT HOT JOCK. She giggled to herself but stopped as reality traipsed in. They had only four more mornings together until he had to leave for his book tour.