“Why does it make you feel so good to hurt me?”
My voice sounds like it’s been rolled around in broken glass and stepped on.
Which is exactly how I feel.
Every single emotion that I stopped myself from feeling earlier crashes to the surface and overflows, like a dam breaking.
A ragged breath leaves him and his eyes widen, as if he finally comprehends the catastrophic damage he just caused.
“Kit.”
He tries to sidestep me when I walk past him, but I push him away.
“Don’t.”
I don’t want to be anywhere near him right now. I can’t.
Because he cut me too deep this time…
And I won’t give him the satisfaction of watching me bleed out.
Chapter 13
Preston
“Kit.”
I try to reach for her again as she races past me, but she’s too quick…and I’m too drunk.
I expect her to run in the direction of the bathroom, because that’s where she holed herself up during our last blowout, but she bypasses it and runs into her old childhood bedroom instead.
A minute later, loud angry girl music fills the house, drowning out the sounds of her cries.
Chest tight, I stagger to the room and bang on the door.
She might have been the one to start this war…but she sure as hell wasn’t prepared for the way I ended it.
In my defense, I didn’t expect her to come home tonight. I figured she’d be off gallivanting with the blonde I caught her playing tonsil hockey with.
“Open the door,” I shout, but the music is too loud for her to hear me.
Defeated, I rest my forehead against the wood of the frame. “Goddammit.”
The song comes to an end, and the sound of her guttural cries before another song cues up again makes my chest hurt.
I don’t understand why she’s having a meltdown, but it doesn’t fucking matter.
All that matters is that she’s in there falling apart…
Because of me.
If I was smart, I’d pack up my shit and leave. Take advantage of the get out of jail free card I’ve managed to snag.
If I was smart, I wouldn’t be kicking down her door in a fit of rage and desperation.
But I’m not smart…
I’m just a man who realized he messed up again.
And hurt the only woman he’s ever given a fuck about.
She doesn’t even flinch as I inch my way through the splintered wood and enter the room.
Reaching over, I shut off the stereo. “Kit.”
She tilts her head ever so slightly and I notice her eyes are puffy and mascara streaks have stained her damp cheeks. “Go away.”
Her voice is broken crystal, the jagged pieces cutting into the hollow cavity that’s otherwise known as my heart.
“I don’t—”
“Stop.” She curls into herself, clutching her knees to her chest as she rocks back and forth on the floor. “I want you gone.”
It’s the first time she’s ever asked me to leave.
And the first time I’ve wanted to stay.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, even though I’m not quite sure what it is I should be apologizing for.
She clenches her hands into fists and pounds the wood floor. “No, you’re not.”
I kneel beside her. “You’re right. I’m not.”
My response only makes her cry harder, so I grab her chin, forcing her to look at me. “But only because I don’t understand why you’re so upset right now.” A cocktail of anger and jealousy brews in the pit of my stomach. “Last time I saw you, you were making out with some blonde—”
“I didn’t want to kiss her,” Kit interjects. “Amber kissed me, but by the time my brain could catch up with what was happening, I saw you standing there…mad as hell.”
Well, shit.
“I was mad as hell because an EMT picked up your phone when I called you this morning and told me you were unconscious. I couldn’t get to you fast enough. However, when I finally did…you were swapping spit with—”
“Are you serious right now?” She looks at me like she wants to set the world on fire just to watch me burn. “You have no right to be upset about that. In case you forgot, you were the one who rejected me, remember?” Turning away, she buries her face in her hands. “I was willing to do anything to make you feel better that night, Preston. Anything.”
I know…which is exactly why I couldn’t let her.
Kit didn’t want to have sex with me because she wanted to.
Yet, for some strange reason, she’s coming apart at the seams, acting like a woman scorned.
“So that’s what this is about?” I question, trying to connect the dots. “You’re upset because I rejected you?”
“No, you asshole.” Another tear streams down her cheek. “I’m upset because when I came back home to see you for your birthday, I caught you with your prick in some woman’s mouth.”
A wail filled with pure agony leaves her.
The sound unhinges me, and I can’t help but pull her close. However, Kit’s having none of it because she places her hands on my chest and shoves me.
“No.”
My head spins as I try to assimilate what’s going on here, but it’s not adding up.
“I’m sorry I’m not attractive enough for you,” she chokes out. “I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you to screw—”
“Jesus Christ,” I roar, because she’s got it all wrong. “You’re too good for me, angry girl.” Reaching over, I brush her mascara streaks with my thumb. “You’re also the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
Hell, everything about this girl does it for me. Her looks, her body…her quirky, sassy, emotionally volatile personality.
It all draws me in like a moth to a motherfucking flame.
Problem is, she can’t say the same about me.
Which makes her jealousy—because I’m positive that’s what this is now—even more perplexing.
Her breath hitches, but then she scowls and pushes my hand away. “I bet you said the same thing to the woman who gave you a blow job in my parents’ living room.”
“I didn’t,” I tell her honestly. “But if I did…why would that bother you so much?”
Her mouth opens and closes before clamping shut.
“Kit.”
Brushing me off, she gets off the floor and starts to leave, but I scoop her in my arms and head toward the bed.
“Say it.”
Her addicting scent surrounds me like a fog as she presses her cheek against my chest, her body going slack against mine as we sink onto the mattress.
“You know why,” she rasps after another minute.
“I’m not sure I do,” I state, getting to the root of it. “Because every time I’ve asked you if me sleeping with other women bothered you…you told me no. Hell, you practically encouraged it.”
“Because I didn’t know it would,” she whispers. “Not until I walked in and saw it with my own eyes.” A drop of wetness hits my skin and her voice cracks. “It reminded me of the time I saw you and Becca, and—”