Laughter filters outside, pulling my head to the left. It’s only then I notice the extra car in the driveway.
Melody clears her throat, her arms crossing over a blush blouse. “My brother and Leah stopped by. I’ve been kind of a hermit this past week.” She pulls her lip between her teeth, gaze darting everywhere but to me. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
I wanted to see you, so I came to see you. See, Melody? I’m fucking trying here.
But my eyes don’t manage to get my point across because she’s not fucking looking at me, and my voice evades me the longer we stand here on her stoop, inches apart, yet miles away from one another. My skin feels itchy, my lungs parched. My fingers yearn to reach out and touch her.
Melody’s lips shape into a small O as she blows out a steadying breath. “Parker, I’m not sure why you came, but… I don’t think I’m ready yet.”
A prickling heat stabs at my chest like a hot poker. I swallow hard. “Look at me, Melody.”
She shakes her head through watery eyes.
“Why? Why won’t you look at me?”
“Please. I’m not ready.”
Fuck.
A growl of desperation sweeps through me, and I reach out, cupping her face between my palms and forcing her attention on me. Bending down, I drop my forehead to hers as she squeaks out a strained gasp. “Look at me. Fucking see me,” I rasp out, my fingers weaving through her soft hair. “I’m here, and I’m trying. I don’t have lavish gifts or words that will magically erase the stupid shit I did, and fuck if I know how to grovel, but I do have one thing… and that’s me. Right here, right now. Standing on your doorstep, asking you to give me another fucking chance. To look past my mistakes and see everything else. Look at the real me, Melody. The man you brought to life, who has no goddamn clue what he’s doing, but is doing it anyway because it fucking matters. You matter.”
Her tears fall instantly, tiny little waterfalls cascading down flushed cheeks, and a hoarse whimper escapes her parted lips.
My focus slips to her mouth, and my own lips tingle, aching to taste her. To reclaim all the things I know we had. The things we still have.
I lean in, ever so slowly, so gently, giving her a chance to push me away… but she doesn’t move. Melody stands there on wobbly legs, clutching my wrists in two tight fists as I graze her mouth with mine. Our breaths beat hot and hurried, erratic, and I inch forward, pressing a featherlight kiss to her trembling lips. I can’t even prevent the moan that crawls up my throat when her warmth invades me, nearly incinerating me where I stand.
Melody clings tighter, rising up on her tiptoes, kissing my bottom lip with a needy sigh. But her sigh manifests into a sob, and she pushes back, escaping my clutches. “No…” she whispers, tone cracking. “I’m not… I don’t…”
She sways slightly, catching her balance on the adjacent pillar. My instincts flare, and I move in to scoop her up in my arms, smoothing her hair back and kissing her temple. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, I-I just feel lightheaded. Nauseous. The stress…”
Jesus Christ, am I making her physically ill?
Just then, the door pulls open, and Melody jumps back. Her brother glowers from the entryway, his icy stare pinning on me, his fists balling at his sides.
“You have a lot of fucking nerve showing up here, man,” West snaps, shoving his way through the screen and beelining towards me. “Look at her—she’s about to pass out from the grief you’ve caused her.”
My stomach pitches with regret. But I don’t have time to process his claims before his fingers are curled around my shirt collar, and he’s moving me backwards until I’m slammed up against the side of her house.
I don’t move. I don’t react. I just stare into his clear blue eyes, my breathing heavy, my muscles locked up.
“West!” Melody shrieks. “Let him go. God, you’re acting like a barbarian.”
Leah meets Melody on the lawn, reaching for her hand and adding, “Ease up, you brute. You’re just making this worse for your sister.”
West slackens his hold on me, shaking his head through gritted teeth. His sigh of resignation carries over to me before he finally lets go and paces back. “Just go. Stay away from my sister,” he orders, frigid warning lacing his words. “She’s been through enough.”
Swallowing, I peer over his shoulder at Melody, who still looks ashen, who still looks winded, wilting, and Christ… it’s my fucking fault. I thought I could come here and sweep her off her feet with a poignant look or an apologetic word. I thought I could right my wrongs with a kiss. And I felt her crumbling, I felt it, but it’s too soon.
She’s not ready, and I can’t force it.
I drop my chin to my chest, my eyes closing as I draw in a lowly breath, and before I make my exit, I move around West and head towards the woman I love.
Her eyes widen as I close in, her green depths reflecting the golden haze of the setting sun, and when I stall before her, drenched in defeat, Melody forces the smallest smile.
After everything, she’s still smiling.
Fuck.
I kind of want to ask her why, and I really want to kiss her, but the only thing I do is reach for her hand, splaying her fingers until her palm is outstretched. Fishing through my pocket, I pull out a folded-up note and place it in her hand, curling her fingers around it. “Don’t ask me how I got this.”
She frowns. “What?” Melody blinks with bewilderment, glancing down at the hidden treasure, then back up to me.
With a hard swallow and a frazzled breath, I hold her hand in mine and lean in, my words tickling the shell of her ear. “Zachary Adler,” I murmur gingerly, brushing a calloused thumb over her knuckles. “Thirty-six, recently divorced, works in finance. Father of two. More importantly… he has something you’re looking for.”
Lifting my head to meet her eyes, I see the realization flicker to life, her pupils dilating as we hold our stare for one long, powerful beat. And with a final kiss to the top of her head, I inhale her scent, sweetness and citrus, and I let her go.
I traipse through the front yard and hop into my truck, starting the engine and gripping the steering wheel in a firm clutch. Running shaky fingers through my hair, I spare a glance out the passenger window at Melody, who is hugging herself through spilling tears with the little piece of paper tucked inside her fist.
I speed away.
Then… I drive.
I drive in circles, around town, into different towns, backwards, forward—for hours.
Hours.
I drive and drive and drive, aimlessly, with no destination in mind, and with only my racing thoughts as a bleak passenger.
And that’s how I wind up on that fucking bridge.
—THIRTY-SIX—
“Mellie!”
A muffled familiarity finds its way to my ear, and I glance up through the dusky window, spotting my father standing on the front porch, his arm waving animatedly, encouraging me inside. When I glance at the time, I’m surprised to discover I’ve been sitting in my parents’ driveway for over fifteen minutes, lost in idle thoughts and haunting unknowns.