“How do you figure?” I asked, falling into step beside him.
“Because before the stroke hit, I was on my way to being a supremely arrogant, narcissistic asshole,” he said. “And while the stroke was a reality check for me to change my life, it doesn’t mean I’m okay with being a burden to Lexi in its aftermath.”
“How are you a burden?” I asked. I was genuinely mystified.
He stopped again and stared at me. “Annabelle, you saw me. I went to save you from those falling weights and damn near got us both crushed.”
“You protected me,” I said. “And put yourself in harm’s way to do it.”
“You don’t understand. The doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with me,” he said. Frustration made his tone sharp. “I’m fine one second and then everything goes sideways and my heart rate accelerates and I can’t breathe, and then my left side starts to go numb. It’s like there’s another stroke lingering beneath the surface just waiting for me to let my guard down.” He shook his head. “And no one can tell me why it keeps happening.”
“They’ll figure it out,” I said. I had a theory about what was happening. I’d seen this sort of thing before, with my sister, Chelsea, after our mother died, but I kept that to myself, for now.
“There’s no guarantee of that, but even if they do . . .” He paused. His gaze held mine, and he reached up with one hand to grab a stray curl that the evening breeze had tossed across my face. He rubbed it between his fingers as if absorbing its texture before he gently tucked it behind my ear. I held perfectly still. I wanted to press my cheek into his palm, but I didn’t.
“Even if they can fix it,” he continued, “there’s no guarantee that I won’t have another stroke tomorrow, next week, next year. Did you know that twenty-three percent of people who have a stroke have another? How could I let Lexi sign on for that? One second she has her long-lost brother back, and the next she has a big old useless bedridden, drooling potato for a sibling. I won’t do it. I won’t risk it.”
“Shouldn’t you tell her what’s going on and let her decide?” I asked.
“No, because I know what she’ll choose,” he said.
We reached my patio and he stopped on the path before it as if there were an invisible boundary he would not cross. To heck with that. He might succeed at keeping his sister at arm’s length, but I wasn’t going to let him do it to me. The awareness between us wasn’t going away. In fact, it was only getting worse with every second I spent in his company. I liked him. I really liked him.
He was interesting and complicated, smart and funny, and strong. Plus, I saw kindness in him. He was a man who’d been on top of the world and had it all crash down around him, but he survived. There was a strength in him he didn’t recognize in himself, but I did.
Of course, I couldn’t ignore the fact that he was as hot as a house on fire, but that wasn’t what made me respond to him. What really drew me to him was how he tried so hard to protect everyone around him from caring about him. As if he could push them away and save himself the heartbreak of caring for them in return if he just kept them at a distance. Ridiculous.
I saw how he joked around with Jackson. He pretended to be irritated by the big man, but I knew that if anyone crossed Jackson, Nick would destroy them. He had the same protectiveness toward Lupita and Juan. They were fiercely loyal to him as well. I knew the truth was that Nick Daire was a good man, even if he didn’t see it himself. As for his sister, Lexi, it was clear he’d never stopped looking out for her. It didn’t take any great powers of deductive reasoning to realize that the college scholarships she’d talked about at dinner, the ones that she didn’t recall applying for, hadn’t just appeared. They were from Nick.
“So it’s okay for you to help her but not for her to help you,” I said.
“I don’t need any help.”
“Really?” I asked. This was my moment. I knew it as surely as I knew my potential to crash and burn was at an all-time high. I didn’t care. My heart was pounding hard in my chest. Holy banana balls, I was about to make a move. “Seems to me, you could use an assist.”
He frowned. His eyes moved over my face as if he was trying to read my intent. “In what way?”
Moment of truth. I tossed my hair over my shoulder, because I’d picked up on the fact that he liked that. It was dark out and hard to see, but I was certain his pupils dilated just a little bit. Then I reached out and took one of his hands and put it on my hip. He didn’t move. In fact, I wasn’t sure he was even breathing.
I glanced up. His nostrils flared just the teensiest bit, and I wanted to do a fist pump in triumph, but I kept it cool. I didn’t want to scare him off. Ever so slowly, I took his other hand and wrapped it around me, moving into the circle of his arms, so that his palm sat on the base of my spine, right above the curve of my derriere.
Tipping my head up, I noticed our faces were now just inches apart. Then I licked my lips and said, “How’s this—helpful?”
“Only if your goal is to make me insane or to be certain I kiss you,” he said. His voice was deep and gruff and made me shiver in the best possible way.
“Definitely, the kiss—” That was all I got out before his lips were on mine, and I abruptly had no idea how words were even formed.
He pulled me in high and tight until my body was pressed against his. The hand on my hip slid up my side and he buried his fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck, holding me as if he was afraid I’d get away. I would have told him not a chance, but I was too undone by the sandalwood and vanilla scent of him that surrounded me, the press of his lips against mine as he traced the seam of my mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss as I opened to him.
I slid my hands up his arms, pausing to squeeze his powerful shoulders, then I twined my arms around his neck, locking him in while I kissed him back with equal fervor. I broke the kiss, because oxygen, but after two gasps I was ready for more. Nick had other ideas, however, as he slid his lips down my neck, kissing the pulse point at the base of my throat before sliding back up to kiss me just behind the ear. Guh.
Stars went off in my vision, my core liquefied into a hot puddle of desire, and I was certain I was having a nuclear meltdown of epic proportions. I let out a low moan and then his mouth was back on mine, and he doubled down on the rampant lust between us, nipping my lower lip and then soothing it with his tongue. Mercy, this man could kiss.
“Impulsive,” he muttered, his lips against my skin. “Reckless woman.”
I dug my fingers into his hair, wanting him to feel how much I desired him and wanting him to suffer the same acute need I was feeling. If the man did not spend the night with me, I would not survive until morning. I was sure of it.