I’m experiencing a lot of firsts tonight. Including cuddling. This is the first time I’ve ever been held by a man in bed. It’s incredibly relaxing to feel his warmth and smell his manly scent.
While Preston idly strokes my hair, my eyes get heavy. Usually, sleep doesn’t come easily unless I’m drugged up. But right now, I can’t stop myself from drifting off.
I’m so cold. I can’t breathe, and I have no control over my body. A force is pushing me one way and pulling me another. My arms are flailing helplessly, and no matter how much I kick, I can’t find anything solid to put my feet on. There’s no difference between up and down. I’m tumbling through an endless abyss.
I try to scream, but water rushes into my mouth. It’s filling my nose, burning my throat.
It hurts.
I’m dying.
Help!
“Rosalie!”
I wake with a start, and I realize my lungs aren’t full of water. In fact, my breathing is fast, and the reason I’m cold is because I’m covered in sweat.
Preston’s hovering over me, looking more than concerned as he grips my shoulders. “Baby.”
“Yeah?”
“You good?” he asks.
Reluctantly, I nod. “What was I doing?”
“Jerking all over the place. I was afraid you were having a seizure. I couldn’t wake you up.”
I’ve never seen Preston scared before, but he is now. His eyes are wild, his breathing is quick, and he’s trembling as he helps me sit up.
“Sorry,” I sigh. “This happens a lot.”
He hands me the glass of water from the nightstand, and I take a small sip, but just the sensation of water running down my throat makes me panic. I end up swallowing too fast and coughing.
“It’s okay.” Preston pats my back. “You’re okay. Want to talk about it?”
“It’s always the same.” Shrugging, I explain my recurring nightmare to him. “After I wake up, I realize it’s a dream, but in the beginning, it’s so real and I’m confused about what’s happening. This is why I need those pills. You shouldn’t have thrown them away. I might be like this every night. You’ll never get good sleep again if you’re in bed with me.”
“I don’t care about that,” he grunts. “Just care about you. I want you to be okay. Sometimes drugs can mask an underlying issue, but they don’t fix it.”
My eyebrows draw together. “What underlying issue? Have you finally realized I’m crazy?”
“Not at all.” As Preston lies back down, he pulls me with him. “Think you can go back to sleep?”
“I can try. But first, tell me something real.”
Preston gives me a squeeze. “No matter what you dream, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
The reassurance is enough to calm me.
Even though it takes me longer to doze off this time, Preston keeps running his hand through my hair. A couple times when I jolt awake, he’s still soothing me, just like he promised.
I feel a little bad that he’s losing more sleep, but it’s just so nice to know he’s here for me, I won’t tell him to stop.
I hope he never stops.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s clear Rosalie has it. Anyone with a military or psychiatric background can recognize it. I suspected it with her reaction to the creek and pretty much any time we talk about water, but now I know for sure. And I’m pissed as hell that Loralee’s solution was to get Rosalie addicted to painkillers instead of getting her the help she needs.
But today isn’t the day to let that be a shadow over us.
Because today, we’re getting married.
Over coffee this morning, I opened up to Jay. Told him I wasn’t sure how Rosalie and I could be married for real while we’re in hiding.
And what did that crazy bastard do? He got on his laptop and got ordained.
And that’s how an impromptu backyard ceremony got set in motion. Both neighbors on either side of Jay’s house have privacy fences up, so we don’t have to be worried about being seen, and it feels like we’re in our own perfect world.
I’m in my suit, standing in the late morning chilly air of November next to a meadow. All the flowers have dried up and died for the season, but it’s still a beautiful backdrop.
Rosalie’s inside borrowing a dress from Casey. Gus will be the ring bearer, and I’m vaguely aware of Jay repeating the instructions carefully to his son. The little boy is in his outfit of choice—a pink princess dress. Every time Jay tells him he’ll have to give up the wedding rings, Gus balls his little fists around his new temporary possessions.
“My rings.”
Jay shakes his head. “Sorry, dude. You can hang onto them for now, but you’ll have to give them back soon.”
“No.” Gus starts to cry, and I have a feeling he might put up a fight when the time comes.
Okay, so this isn’t the wedding most people dream about. I’m a little insecure about that, and I tell myself that’s why I’m so nervous.
It’s better than worrying Rosalie will come to her senses and change her mind about marrying me.
I won’t blame her if she does.
She’s impulsive as fuck and so eager to experience everything life has to offer. Ever since she climbed out of that window, we’ve been in a whirlwind of recklessness.
We’re living a reality I never saw coming. It doesn’t matter how much planning I did to ensure our getaway—I couldn’t have anticipated this. Yeah, I hoped Rosalie would return my affections. That eventually, she’d fall for me like I’ve fallen for her.
I just didn’t think she’d do it so whole-heartedly. Or so fast.
Too good to be true. That’s what people say about times like these, and I can’t help wondering if I’m taking advantage of her naivety, but then I remember the words she said to me last night.
I could meet everyone in the world, and I’d still want you.
All my concerns scatter when the screen door opens with a whiny creak.
I straighten my spine as Casey comes out first, wearing a slinky purple gown. Rosalie’s next in a black dress that fits her body like a glove. It’s not the traditional white, but who the hell cares when she looks this good?
Her hair—done by me after breakfast—is in a loose updo. Four braids are woven together in the back, and little yellow flowers are tucked into the twisted strands. A couple tendrils frame her face.
There’s a bouquet of yellow mums in her hand, and when she steps down onto the concrete patio, her mismatched eyes meet mine.
She smiles.
It’s a confident kind of smile, totally absent of doubt.
I don’t know what I did to deserve her, but I grin back, making sure she knows I’m not having second thoughts either.
Unfamiliar possessiveness flares inside me as she walks through the yard, closing the gap between us.
Aside from my cars and my business, I’ve never had anything that was mine.
Truly mine.
Something constant and stable I could count on.
From this day forward, I’ll always have a partner. ‘Til death do us part.
When Rosalie gets to me, she passes her bouquet to Casey. A shiver racks her body, and although she looks amazing, it’s too cold out here. I slip off my jacket and drape it over her, hoping she’ll accept it.