I choose not to tell him I took the bus here. Something tells me that would throw their whole system for a loop.
I’ve been carless for a while. Nan’s finally crapped out on me a month after I arrived back in California, and I haven’t had the cash to buy a new one. Los Angeles is a driving city, so it’s been tricky, but I’ve lucked out living near the Caltech campus. Most everything I need is nearby, and if I ever need to get somewhere far away, Kayla or Ryan let me borrow one of their cars.
The elevator arrives on the private floor and the doors sweep open. The first thing I notice is the floors. No concrete up here. Smooth white marble shines beneath glossy dark purple walls. Spaced evenly on either side, black and white photographs of past players hang side by side beneath museum lights. Between the photographs, there are doors to private suites, each one numbered. My badge is for suite number five, and that’s where I’m led.
“Enjoy the game,” the guard tells me with a simple nod before leaving me to fend for myself.
I look down at the polished gold doorknob, feeling my pulse pound as I pause and stare at it for a moment. I could still leave right now and scurry right back to my life as I know it. Ben would assume I never showed, and maybe that’d be it for us.
But my hand twists that knob. I enter his world with a racing heart and a held breath. I don’t know what I was expecting, maybe a completely empty room, but when I open the door, there are a dozen people inside the suite. Only a handful of them look up when I enter, and thankfully, Leanna is one of them.
“Raelynn!”
She leaps up from her chair and darts toward me with a big smile on her face. Before I can even take a full step inside, she has me wrapped in a tight hug.
“I didn’t think you would show! They’re already in the second quarter.”
“Yeah, I hit some bad traffic.”
I don’t tell her it was really the bus that was delayed.
“No. It’s totally fine,” she says, holding me out at arm’s length and smiling wide.
I feel guilty seeing her again, so guilty I can’t really meet her smile until we clear the air.
“About the phone number—”
“Stop. I would have done the same thing!” she says with a playful laugh. “I was only bummed because I did actually want to keep up with you. But hey, everything has worked out, right?”
Has it?
It doesn’t feel that way at all.
She leads me back to where she was sitting and points to an empty oversized leather chair beside hers. From our seats, we have a sweeping view of the basketball court through a pane of glass, and I look down to find Ben huddled with his team during a timeout. I wonder if he’s solely focused on the court or if he’s worried about whether or not I showed. Then I blush with embarrassment. Of course he’s not thinking about me at a time like this.
“They’ve been playing really well so far,” Leanna tells me, sounding proud.
“Sorry, that’s usually my chair,” a voice says from behind me.
I turn around then tilt my chin up to see a beautiful redhead with crossed arms assessing me with annoyance.
“There aren’t assigned seats, Eva,” Leanna says with a little bite.
Eva looks bored as she replies to Leanna while looking straight at me, “Your guest is in my seat.”
“She’s not my guest. Ben invited her.”
Eva’s gaze narrows, and now she looks curious where before she was merely inconvenienced.
“Ben invited you?”
I look to Leanna, and she nods in encouragement.
I shrug like it’s no big deal. “We’re friends.”
Or we were, at least.
Eva laughs. “No, sweetie.” She points to the court in front of us. “Those guys don’t invite women here to be friends with them. They bring women like you here because they want you to see them look like gods. They want you to watch them on the court, listen to the adoring fans shouting their names, and fall head over heels.” She smiles sinisterly. “Ben wants you on your hands and knees, desperate for any little morsel of attention he’ll throw your way. That’s how this works.”
“Ben’s not like that,” Leanna says, speaking up for me.
Eva puffs out a laugh. “They’re all like that.”
Then she rolls her eyes and heads toward another cluster of chairs on the opposite side of the suite.
“Don’t listen to her,” Leanna says, leaning toward me. “Trey and Ben don’t do that kind of thing. I mean…Anthony, sure. He brings a new girl to this suite every week, trying to impress her, but Ben’s never invited a woman here since I’ve known him.”
“It’s okay, you know. You don’t have to assure me of anything. I know the score with Ben.”
She frowns.
“He and I aren’t together. I mean, we never were together,” I continue, trying to ensure she knows the truth.
She looks away. I assume the conversation is over, but I can’t help but feel like I’ve put her in a bad mood. I peer over at her, and her eyebrows are drawn together in anger. Then suddenly, she shakes her head before spinning to face me.
“God, are we really going to do this all over again?”
I rear back in surprise.
“He was in love with you. When we left Texas for the Games, he was a total wreck. You giving me that wrong number…I mean, I just don’t get it, Raelynn. Why are you here?”
“What?”
“Why are you here if you don’t feel the same way he does?”
My mouth hangs agape. I don’t have any words.
She takes in my horrified expression, squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, and then looks away. “Sorry. God, don’t listen to me…” We’re both looking out at the court as she continues, “He would kill me if he knew I said all that. It’s just…it’s hard seeing a friend struggle like he did. And now, you’re here, and I thought…” She lets her sentence dwindle before she shakes her head. “I don’t want him to have to go through all that again.”
“I struggled too,” I whisper, not quite courageous enough to say the words loudly.
I think she heard me. Even still, we both sit in silence for a while, content to let the noise from the other people in the suite blanket us. We watch the game, and I lean forward in my seat, mesmerized by Ben on the court as he shoots and scores a three-pointer, sending the entire stadium to their feet just as the halftime buzzer blares. Leanna nudges me with her shoulder and offers a half-smile, effectively waving a white flag.
“Come on, let’s get some food.”
They’ve set up a full buffet in the suite, but just like the last time I was watching Ben play, I don’t have much of an appetite. My stomach is tied up with nerves, but Leanna is eating and I don’t want to make her feel awkward, so I get a little salad and a fluffy white roll. I break off bits of it and take little bites, trying to ignore my shaking hand. This whole thing is overwhelming, and I feel like Leanna expects me to bolt at any second. It is tempting. The quiet of my room back at Caltech beckons me. My old life with everything lined up in a row, all my classes in order, my resume a mile long. Still, I stay.
Unfortunately, Eva finds us again while we’re eating. She comes over to our chairs carrying a champagne flute and perches right on the edge of the low coffee table in front of us, blocking my view of the court and the dancers entertaining the fans during halftime.